MovieManCin2 — 11 months ago(April 09, 2025 02:11 AM)

https://babylonbee.com/news/7-facts-to-comfort-you-while-watching-the-market-crash

1. You now have less money to worry about losing.
2. Jim Cramer just said it can't get any worse.
   Phew!
3. You are learning to be content in all circumstances, like the Apostle Paul.
4. The baseball cards your wife tried to throw out are now your most valuable investment.
   Boy, does she feel silly.
5. If you look at the chart upside-down, the numbers don't look so bad.
   It's all about perspective.
6. If the tariffs work, soon Chinese finger trap will be
   American
   finger traps.
   It's a small price to pay.
   Breathe easy, folks. It's going to be okay.
   PS For the fifth straight day, I bought stock. It's
   on sale!
   MAGA! FAFO! Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. Dumbocraps: evil people who celebrate murder.