alleycat-10365 — 9 years ago(February 06, 2017 06:54 PM)

Someone said this on another site. I do believe it's the truth as I once knew a nonpassible trans that this could apply to exactly. Right down to the anger, jealousy and sorrow.
The daily harassment and abuse from not being passable eventually will overshadow the "internal happiness". The only way to get past this is to mentally block it and bottle feelings up. The lack of friends, sexual relationships, love or support, will all take a mental toll. Lots of people commit suicide after being on hormones for a while and realizing they can never be accepted because they look like a man with a wig and makeup. Transitioning and not being passable is also a physical assault/abuse risk. The initial internal happiness will begin strong, and slowly decr2000ease over the course of a couple years, when eventually they get tired of the never ending "transition" and never ending tunnel with the light at the end. Lots of people stop hormones after a while and go into denial, and then years later they get back on them. It's a deadly cycle that ends in depression, anxiety, trauma, and other things. Feeling like a woman on the inside, and taking steps brings happiness; however, being in a social setting, especially around other passable or cis women who are getting treated differently than you, brings a deep sorrow, jealousy, and envy. These feelings turn into hate towards everyone and a destructive attitude.