‍️ Christina 1986-05-20 — 1 year ago(February 02, 2025 07:37 PM)

First, I'm guessing it all started with maybe blaming me for doing badly in piano, so I'd blame my piano teacher.
Then, I'd blame my singing teacher for not ever keeping her promise… They swore like not only would I "see" her. They "said" I'd live with her and her husband, and her daughter would be around, who was older.
Then, I'd blame whatever possessed my mom to not trust my dad for some reason with me being a problem coming home again, without saying anything I know of.
Then, I'd blame my dad because he kept at the world to be mean to me or else, though I don't know totally. Then, he was there to catch it.
…
When my parents died. My psychologist/counselor acted like I was in trouble. She didn't seem to know the whole story from anything I said. It was that I would be homeless..
I blame the people in charge of the group homes, next, for things they did..
Then, there's people like people in charge of things at the apartment home I lived in and the 2 nursing homes I couldn't get out of for about a year, wanting to work all this time to build savings again..
…
TALKING
For some reason because it hit me, people act like Joni is upset I didn't set a plan for when my dad died, like more "on purpose." My dad told me, it was like 2 years in advance.. She is probably wondering why I worked and knows I felt like I may not, like maybe it was technically useless or something I guess as far as if it fixed all my thoughts went. So, it's just not fun to talk to her.
Barb of course acts like it's my fault I don't have food, in my mind's eye.
My younger brother has some dirt with me, though I played all my cards right.
No relative, or any friend, has much to do for me, unless I think about maybe an old neighbor.
½ S/N Asian (40%+ Chinese) ½ Norwegian/Danish-Irish Swiss (Amish/PA) German French Dutch? French+Dutch Celtic-Irish English-Irish? ..?