I'd defect to Russia in that instance.

We will give you laser surgery and place you on the front lines.
Stop.

I wear glasses. Anyway, ones county is not worth dying for, i'd rather do jail time.

Everyone who voted for Biden should be drafted.
And sent to Ukraine to help ward off the evil Russians.
Norman! What did you put in my tea?

And Biden can be their leader in the field.
"Let's go get 'em, guys! But first I have to put my hands on this girl's shoulders and sniff her hair and violate her personal space."
A few seconds later
"OK I'm ready now! Let's go! Wait! Where are we going? What day of the week is it? Are you my son? Where am I again?"
"Please vote to preserve the unique character of Warren…" - Robert Duvall