Sophievirus — 4 years ago(August 06, 2021 05:05 AM)

at a subway station in my neighbourhood, a girl approached me not too long ago and said “i watch u, u watch me” bc it was full of drunk men shouting at us (the only 2 girls at the station) and i felt so much safer when she stood by my side. so powerful, so essential for our safety. we were verbally harassed but not physically, so that was good.
then i got reminded, a dear friend was attacked by 2 men on the Berlin S-Bahn some 5 years ago and nobody did one thing to help her. she got a bottle smashed on her head, was traumatised for a couple of years and still has issues when she has to take public transport. she has now good and bad phases. sometimes she’s triggered by sth reminding her of that episode and becomes more sensitive again. PTSD full blown and she went through several therapies, but still feels fragile at times. she’s just the sweetest soul i know.
just to stress it again how important it is to intervene when u see gender-related violence done to a girl or a woman in public. even simply standing up from ur seat can change things and save someone from sth potentially nasty happening with terrible health consequences for the victim.
i live in a pretty bad neighbourhood in Berlin and i got assaulted a couple of times, but i don't want to go into much details right now. just for the record, it was no rape, but once, when i was 19, it was pretty close. if 2 men hadn't stepped in and helped me out of that situation, i may would have ended up getting raped in broad daylight, perhaps. thank god it didn't come to it in the end and heaven sent me those 2 guardian angels who saw me being in trouble with that thug and they chased him away. i'll never forget them, they were nice and helpful afterwards, too. so, it's not all dudes, but i also had other dudes groping me on the street and one time, one dude was flashing his dick to me in an elevator.
i don't want to bash all men and lump them all together, but i just can't help worrying about the amount of dangerous and horrible males out there u know? in my freaking city, in my freaking neighbourhood. i just don't think men have a clue of our daily fear on the streets and in public spaces, of us making ourselves small and unobtrusive and quiet as possible in so many situations, trying to avoid being alone in public in evening and night hours, being in our constant state of alert that we feel everyday.
bc of my experiences, this is how i often end up behaving when i'm in public alone: when i feel that a guy follows me after i'm getting off the subway onto the street or off a bus to go home, i just make sure i don’t have anything that stops me if i have to run, no bag or scarf hindering my legs while running, always holding my keys in my hands in the pocket, so i can open my door easily. i have had such a situation a couple of times before and i just developed a sixth sense for potential predators that could follow me.
so if u see somebody following a woman, please help! i’m all the time looking around to get help and to offer my own help too, to a woman in dire straits. we have to look after each other! if u see a woman being harassed and assaulted, do sth that gets her the **** out of there.
suck it.