I wish you all the best Jacky and get over this pain soon
Ho Ho Ho

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At least now they know they don't have to pat check you.
Hark! Harold the angel sings.

How awkward, your pants fall down and you're all hanging out yet nobody notices.
Bring. More. Sheep.

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The only good stories are the ones that would make you feel worse

Ew that's nasty
If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

A poop knife, Jesus Christ. That poor family must wipe away blood with every visit to the bathroom.
Hark! Harold the angel sings.

I read this recently and found it hilarious
My family poops big. Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won’t flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.
Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out “hey, can you get me the poop knife”?
I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.
Fast forward to 22. It’s been a day or two between poops and I’m over at my friend’s house. My friend was the local dealer and always had ‘guests’ over, because you can’t buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it’s a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.
“My what?”
Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.
“Wtf is a poop knife?”
Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.
He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ****ed up family with their ****ed up bowels. FML.
I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn’t cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.
She will be getting her own utility knife now.

Hark! Harold the angel sings.

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Get the hell out of her thread, asshole!

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she is so random
come here

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sometimes she can be amusing
come here

I posted that I liked the Child's Play reboot earlier and she accused me of copying her writing style. I guess she's copying me back.
Hark! Harold the angel sings.

I'll add her to the MM Coronapocalypse poll, so obvious is her butthurt.
Bring. More. Sheep.

Ouf, sorry to hear that, but hopefully it’ll pass soon and they have you on antibiotics.
Also… why is Donna using your pfp
come here

Jacky has kidney stones and a likely kidney infection. Jacky doesn't feel physical pain over board drama.
Hark! Harold the angel sings.

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That little guinea pig traitor. After all the hay he was given…all the toys…
Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Maybe Faust entered your urinary tract and died in there and has been festering for months and decaying and is expecting you to birth his corpse through your urethra. Wait, do girls have urethras? Well your middle pussy then or wherever you piss from

Ouch!
If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana