Racist and transphobic?
My man!

nah i dont want to be one of the directors who insists he cameos in his own work, im not M Night Shemalesdingdong.

Your nose could be the stunt double for his dick if needed.
My password is password

nah Ron's dick would be too distracting to me, i'd be shouting " DICK " instead of " CUT " by accident.
Get a smaller dicked actor like Matthew Broderick.

Tell them you want Ginger Lynn, Traci Lords, Ron Jeremy and James Deen!
My password is password

I'm good with all the above.

no homo though
When we are double teaming the next Scarlett Johansson, I will allow 2 single bro fist bumps with full eye contact. Other than that we just stick to our chosen orifices and focus on that.
Nah his mon is a crack whore she has no interest in guns, how about Kevin knows where his jailed father hid a gun in the shed or something.

Now you're talking!
Casting couch?
Pshaw!
We are going to have a casting bed!
If it is a MFM audition, no homo though.
In the orig. white HA Kevin used a BB gun.
Not in this one when "Kevin" finds his mom's real gun and blows out their kneecaps!

You and me man, we are gunna make millions and be thrust into Hollywood stardom. How long until we are Harvey Weinsteining hot young aspiring actress's for roles that will never materialise I wonder

Myrone walks in and sees that Tyrone is now a chrome dome.
"Bro, what happened to you? Why the Michael Jordan* look?"
"Ahhhhhhh!" Tyrone screams holding up his arm showing how he now has a missing hand.
"Bro. We gotta get you to a hospital. But first I gotta eat something. I is so hungry! Lets me checks da fridge."
When M goes to open up the fridge and leans down to see what is in there "Kevin rigged Govt. issued spray cans of cheese to cover M with it.
Then out of nowhere come tons of rats attracted to the cheese who cover up M and partially eat his face off!
*Or another famous bald black man of the times.

Capeesh.
I will work exclusively for you even though I have so many others banging on my door.
(IRS, Debt collectors, the bank trying to serve me a foreclosure notice, my ex wife begging for her late all-da-money payment etc.)
Instead of burglars trying to rip off a rich mansion, this is going to be ghetto based with Tyrone and Myrone looking to steal drugs that they were told were here at this "dealers place" which the sleaze who owed them money ($5) told them just before he slipped out of their hands when they held him upside down over a 4 story building edge.
For traps here is one idea.
"Kevin" locks a cabinet and cut out a hand sized hole in the side.
When Tyrone sticks his hand in a rigged cleaver comes down chopping it off!
Then when he goes to turn on the gas stove to cauterize the wound, it was rigged to be a fireball which burns off his fro!

Your hired, and i swear to god if you take part in a future writers strike i will ****ing end you, you will never work in this town again, capeesh?

I also need to figure out how to fit in a Donald Trump cameo.
Since this movie comes out in 2032 and most likely Trump will be dead by then or else so ****ing old he will not be seen in public anymore, like Carter, you show one of the illegitimate kids reading his book.
"I gonna be rich and famous like him!"
"That's nice dear," crack ho mom is saying to her 9th child that she got some H for in exchange for sex when she got knocked up with him.
"Now go down to Pop's (Short for Popeye's) and get me the fried chicken like I axed you to 10 times already!" she screams at him before slapping his face and swatting his behind shooing him out the door.
"I is hungry you little bastard! Take care of mama like you is supposed to, you little ****!"