Betty: He killed two people!
Grandpa:Does he need a room?

Played this one for my sibs the other day to plenty of laughs. My favorite is in the 'Reel Life/Real Life' presentation:
[Joel:] In Reel Life, [Tom:] your landlord is a rosy-cheeked, cheerful old man.
[Joel:] In REAL Life, [Crow:] your landlord's a butane addict who sneaks into your apartment and looks through your underwear drawer.

This is one of my favorite MST3K moviesGrandpa laying on couch with newspaper over his head and King Moody with his "condemn you to TORTURE"!!never fails to crack me uplove this movie!!

Thor: TELL ME!!
Servo: Why do you look like Hoyt Axton?
Joe: The police just came across a pair of skeletons
Crow:and they're not talkin'!
(As we see Dr. Brandt resigning t olead Thor and his hostages into his house)
Servo: (grumbles) Ah, c'mon, dummy! Geezabout to go to a hat party, and mine was the grandest of them all

I'm not the Shell Answer guy. When Thor goes to the Texaco gas station asking all of those questions. I almost died laughing when they said that.

"TORTURE" The MST3K version of this is the funniest I've seen. It just doesn't let up!

"Let us implement contractions!"
"Heeey, room for one, buddy!"

"Guess it's a self serve now."
"What was that?" "Probably just a silly old plot point."
"I like you Gramps. That's why I kill you last."
"Peeu, never toasted anyone that old before."
"You'll have to wait an hour. It's standard procedure."
"Where was I on the night of the 14th?"
"It's a rock lobster."
"This is the most incompetent prison transfer since Dallas 63."
"Everybody gets to be a hostage in this movie."
"You promised." "I had my feelers crossed."
"Oh bite me, dad. You're so embarrassing."
I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.

Derek: You..are Joe ???
Tom Servo: I.am not.

Now that teen dream is here.
Oh, yeah, the lobsters, I forgot

Dr. Brandt: " I Say.What Is This ??" Joel: " And You Say It, Rather Woodenly."

There was love and happiness!
Joel: Oh, bite me! There was not!

When there's no more room in hell, The dead will walk the earth

I can't think of one, but they sure made an unusual number of references to
Citizen Kane

Suddenly, thud! My mind tottered like a jinkyboard in a windstorm

when the 3 ppl are riding in front of the car: Grandpa, couldnt u sit in back?"

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"Menopause sometimes it feels like a speeding car chase."

Yep, this is, the one! Two other lines, just crack me to pieces: "REALLY, old teenagers, from Outer Space!!" "When we return, to our planet, the high court may well sentence you, TO TORTURE!!!"

Was this the MST3K movie where someone was in a pool, got shot with some kind of laser beam, was then turned into a skeleton, then Joel said, "Yeah, clorine, it can do that to ya!" There's this one Joel ep I'm looking for that has this, and I think this might be it. It also had other lines, like one of the trio saying, "There's Jimmy Olson, from the Daily Planet!" or something like that, and something about "Johnny-bits raining down all over the place." Is this movie from that episode?