Because then it would've been a comedy.

Just found this on YouTube…

Yeah, it's cute when they have a little trail of ducklings following. I notice the males also hang around and stand guard on the mother and her chicks.
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"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

The wild ducks can still get by but they appreciate the habitats we’ve created. The one paddling away in the picture I posted set up home in an artificial wildlife pond in our park and her ducklings were local celebrities for a short while.

I cruise in a park which has both ducks and geese. I guess you're right, the big white ones can be uppity. But they're docile compared to geese. However, I've never seen a mallard or a canvasback attack a human. They're pretty timid.
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

We have ducks in Harlem.
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

He lives in the ghetto. You'll never see ducks try and mate there.
"That's a dumb question, Miss Glenn’s Organ."

I guess you've never been around ducks? They are pretty aggressive.

In reality I think ducks have become too dependent on humans. They don't wanna bite the hand that feeds them.
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"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I was going to mention geese in the OP but the idea of being assaulted by ducks is funnier.

Geese attack humans on a daily basis. They're vicious. Why were there no geese?
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

An irate Donald Duck could attack you!

MovieMan posts a GIF of a catfish drinking beer. So I'm sure there are alcoholic birds as well!
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

Same here. I'm not sure if it's even beer anymore. If it is, I'd like to know what kind.
In any case, the bird seems to like it.
You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

Google is no help. And I can't read what's written under Summer.
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I was thinking of this stuff because I saw Summer on the can, but I don't believe that's right either…
You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

Yuck, sounds like a cheap rotgut brand! Lol.
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

Looks like Summer Shandy.
You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

I'm 99.9% sure it's beer.
I'm 0% sure of which brand.
You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

I can't tell but I hope that's beer he's drinking!
Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

This thread is for the Birds. I need a drink.
"That's a dumb question, Miss Glenn’s Organ."

Me too.
You asked a pretty question; I've given you the ugly answer.
Fasten Your Seatbelts….
It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night!

I love High Anxiety!