JustinCase — 7 months ago(September 01, 2025 11:59 PM)

President Donald Trump just signed an EO which will end the beloved pastime sport of baseball in America forever.
"We have way too many illegal aliens playing in our sport, our sport that was invented here by a great white man you know, and we must round 'em all up and send them back to their countries. Perhaps even a bunch to that prison in El Salvador because just look at the way they hold those bats. You know those are future criminals in the making. People kept coming up to me with concerns of those bats "accidentally," (Trump said using air quotes.) going into the crowd and killing Americans and we can't have that. Or they might start throwing baseballs at the heads of the fans because, you know, all non white aliens are all future criminals. I had to do this to keep us safe and a lot of people are coming up to me and telling me this a beautiful idea. A wonderful, fantastic one. Besides baseball is boring and the beautiful football season is about to start so why not end it early so we can focus on the better sport? I was a successful owner of a USFL team. We won all our games. Didn't lose a one. So they stopped that from not liking being losers to me. Did you know that? People keep telling me how great that was. They ended it because they didn't like it that I was there since I was the best owner out of all of them."
When asked what he might do about basketball Trump responded, "We are looking into ways to send them back to Africa where they came from and where they belong."
How you die does not redeem how you lived. - A black pastor on the life and death of Charlie Kirk