"Aww! Nice!"
"You.DEVIL!"
James?
I think it may be time to go home
take me round the world one more time
Why not!

This message has been deleted.

I think someone has just pulled my communication chord.

I am a little Dutch girl done up with paint and powder, I am here to please with Edam cheese and half a pound of Gouda.

Season 1, episode 3 Frank's across the street at the screenwriter's house (whom he's already driven to tears) and delivers this completely nonsensical soliloquy about borrowing a ladder to sneak back into his house after locking himself out. You have to picture him giving those uncomfortable, quivering pauses between each sentence and clause:
"She's a bit upset, see, 'cause her mother's there and we've had a bit of trouble about her husband's python. It was the same when he had his monkeys in the greenhouse. I don't know what they used to get up to in there, but we never had a single cucumber. And all my tomatoes went blue. So, can I borrow your ladder?"
I almost choked I was laughing so hard!

I loved Frank as a child now to watch as much as I want on dvd, yay!
"Mmmm, noo we don't waant any jealosy do we."

"talking like that in front of your mothers chair !!"

Great username, sir

"There are old pilots and there are bold pilots But there are no old, bold pilots."

I remember when Frank got a letter from Grandad Spencer and Betty said I thought he died, and Frank says Not when he wrote this lol.

I can't remember it exactly, but I think he was talking about how he never kept in touch with his grandad, and he said something like "we didn't even know he was still alive mind you if he had died he wouldn't have told us"
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli".

"Throw it out in the morning"
"You might have asked me first" - after Betty announces she's pregnant
"Spencer, F.W."
"I've been framed!"

Season 2, Ep 1 - Cliffhanger.
During the interview at the farm supplies firm, Frank sits on a clipboard and it attaches to his coat tail. The boss interviewing him tries to reach around behind him and grab the clipboard off his coat tail.
Frank: "Whatcha doing back there, ya dirty devil. I'm a married man!"
*** Brilliant!!!!!!! ***

I expect you'll have a good old laugh about this when I've gone"
After wrecking a state of the art computer.

To the wailing woman at the hospital.
"My wifes a bit tired, so I thought I'd try you."
I find your lack of faith in TDK disturbing
http://tinyurl.com/2m8gpt

"On yer cobblers" is another beauty (Frank trying to imitate Australian lingo).

"But this is the maternity hospital I'm here already".
Gold.
Poor 'ol (confused) Frank.

My favourites include when he is greeted by the heavily pregnant couple in the Pregnancy Class, and they say they remember him from the Family Planning Clinic. "Oh," says Frank. "How did you get on?"
and later that same scene when the doctor is goading him,
"When you were a baby you had a soft spot, didn't you?"
"I was very fond of treacle pudding."
Or when he is with Fulton Mackay in the RAF Aptitude Test, and Fulton is writing his name.
"Fra-a-a-nk."
"Yes, Herbert?"
But often the great lines are from other people, like when Dr Smedley tells Betty she is pregnant.
"There's no doubt at all, Mrs Spencer. These tests show you are pregnant"
"Oh my goodness.I can't believe it!"
"I can hardly believe it myself!!"
Or James Cossins giving the lecture to the class at the Motivation Weekend: "I've got a little word in mind. It begins with F!" Frank's face at this point is a pure joy to watch.
And then - this one might sound strange - but I will always remember watching the closing credits of an episode, and the BBC voiceover said, "Don't forget to tune in next week at the same time, when Frank tries his hand at hang-gliding with less than successful results." It was just such a brilliant description of the show it had my whole family in stitches! :))))
But the best moment of all is not even a line. It's visual. Richard Wilson is surveying their home as they try to sell their furniture. Frank invites him to sit down so they can discuss a deal, and RW sits on a sofa chair which sinks down to floor level. The audience is in stitches - and so are all the actors. You can see them all trying not to laugh. Today that scene would have been cut as unprofessional. Thank God they left it in then, it is impossible not to laugh.
Great show - thankyou Frank and everyone involved.

"Maybe I should go alone"

• Quint, Jaws.

'27 Sodbury Terrace'
After Mr Lewis smashes into a milk float: 'If there's any left, could you leave one extra at number 27 please? Thankyou'.
After blowing up a house and exiting with his clothes in rags and covered in soot: 'Well I'm afraid that's all I can do at the moment'
'I've been articulated!'

"Hurling abuses at me in my loft!"
"Ooh I say."
"I'm a married man I've read about this."
"I have to watch my trouble."

What was that line where he's just escaped the whole situation with the chimmney and he tells the postman that he got chased by a chimmney last week?

lol @ the quotes.
harrasments from all sides..

Every dayin every wayI'm getting better and better!
Visit me at http://skandarkeynesfan.spaces.msn.com

Betty: "Well I am a bit worried about leaving my mother."
Mr. Lorace: "Arrrr. Getting on a bit is she?"
Frank: "Well you know about your age."
Mr. Lorance: "According to this you spent three months in a monastery and graduated as a gas fitter."
Frank: "I did the gas fitting before I went in. I was just living in the monastery."
Mr. Lorance: "That was your home?!"
Frank: "I didn't have a home. That was where I was doing the part-time monk-ing."