Cover me!
With what?
just cover me.

Prince Herbert: He's come to rescue me, father!
Sir Lancelot: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like and then spank me.
And me. And me too. And me.
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
No offense, but you're an idiot.

"5 is right out."
"Are you saying NI to that old woman" "Um.yes."

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And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."
Love the whole rabbit scene.

The black-guard: "'Tis Just a flesh-would"
Arthur: "What, are you gonna bleed on me?"
French guy (with accent): "I fart on your general direction."

I am your King!
Well I didn't vote for you
Strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh "
Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.

and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.

From Robin's Minstrels:
"When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned around and fled, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin"
and my signature.
"Well she turned me in to a newt! I got better."

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"No, I mean "whoooaaaaaah," as in surprise and alarm!"
[After she has been pronounced a witch, Connie Booth as the Witch, sarcastically under her breath]: "That's a fair cop."
"We hear very little, and we understand even less." - Refugee in Casablanca

nobody mentioned a personal favorite
"I'm your king"
"Well, I didn't vote for you"
Of course it's much funnier in Terry Jones ratbag voice.

Okay, serious violation of the two line rule but I am posting the below simply because in the great length of this post they still haven't been listed and they are comedy gold:
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!
You even kicked the bride in the chest!
That's the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
And we'd better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite!
Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aauuggggh'. He'd just say it!
.)
..)
(. Think heavenly, act locally

Odd how few of these quotes are from the Black Knight scene. My picks are
"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction, your mother was a hamster, and you father smelled of elderberries." Pretty much anything the french guard says is my favorite, but that's his top line IMO. The accent is what totally makes it work.
"'Tis but a scratch!"

I knew worst
What you gonna do? Bleed on me?!

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"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"..With big sharp pointy teeth!"

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"I wave my private parts at your auntie!"
"Your mother was an 'amster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"Hey! Ladies! That was fun!"

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"
"What an eccentric performance."

"Look let me go back in there and face the peril."
"No, it's too perilous!"
"Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three."

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