Wang: "It is late and my eyes are getting tired."
Diamond: "I thought they always looked like that."
Tess reprimands him for the racial slur. I can't remember what she says.
Diamond: "You're right. I'm sorry slanty."

MUSHROOM story

"Idiot!! Did not finish wise old saying!"
Great movie; I appreciate it a lot more now than I did when it first came out and my father pretty much had to explain why certain things were funny. I enjoyed it anyway just because I liked everyone in the cast so much, but now I've seen the originals myself and I really "get it".

Why don't you fall in love with the Jap kid and get off my back?

"doh! no i have not been poisoned it was just a bad year"

Lines I use all the time:
"That's tackythat's really tacky"
"The bones in my body" - in French accent - usually occurs when someone is looking for hamburger buns
(When Maggie Smith asks what Peter Falk means when he says 'number 2') Eileen Brennan responds "I'll tell you later. It's disgusting"
"I like her, I really like her"
I enjoy quoting the nurse "Sometimes my gas kills" "I can't help it I'm old" "Sicky-poo"
Luckily this is a big movie in my family so whenever I quote it they know what I'm talking about.

BEST LINE EVER!!
YOU DEMENTED LOLLIPOP!!!
That's one I'm going to start using on a daily basis!!

If I'm holding hands in a group of people I've got to try this; when they were all sitting around the table holding hands, Sam is sitting next to the old nurse.
Sam: Stop dat!
Nick: What's wrong?
Same: Da nurse is giving my palm da finger. Dirty old broad.
Sam: I don't kiss. I don't like kissing, now leave me alone.

After reading this entire thread, I really must see this movie.
For you who have not seen it, I highly recommend "The Bobo", which has my favorite line from any movie. Britt Ekland has been having an affair with this older man, who happens to be a Maserati dealer. She is breaking off the affair and he is terrified she will blackmail him. He offers her some token of his appreciation for all the good times, and she says "I would like a box of chocolates" He breathes a sigh of relief, and says "I will buy you the most beautiful box of chocolates in Barcelona". She then says "Thank you. Just leave it in the front seat of the Maserati".
That movie is worth watching just to hear Britt deliver the last line of the film, which I will not reveal. "If you've seen one

The film's full of great quotable lines - someone earlier mentioned Monty Python and how quotable they are, particularly 'Holy Grail'. Whenever my wife and I are with people and someone is having difficulty understanding something, one of us will usually say 'Look, it's quite simpleyou stay here and make sure he doesn't leave the room'..to which we generally get blank looks.
Maggie Smith's 'Oh that's tacky..' is absolutely delicious especially as it is a reaction to her character discovering what necrophilia is.

"Answer simple, but question very hard."
"That can only mean one thing. And I don't know what it is."
"Room filled with empty people."

Eileen Brennan was perfect as Tess Skeffington!
She had that wonderful, on-the-edge-of-her-last-nerve delivery that added so much to every line she spoke.

Have you noticed that in Shakespeare's plays soothsayers said the sooth, the whole sooth, and nothing but the sooth?

I love every line Eileen Brennan had. She has a very dry and deadpan way of delivering a line.
Tess Skeffington: "There's nothing on him 'til '46, when he was picked up in El Paso, Texas, for trying to smuggle a truckload of rich white Americans across the border into Mexico to pick melons."
Sam Diamond: "I think we picked ourselves a queer bird, angel."
Tess Skeffington: "His mother was a Roman Catholic, his father was an
Orthodox Jew. They were separated two hours after the marriage."
Tess Skeffington: "He was arrested in 1932 in Chicago for selling pornographic Bibles. The D.A. couldn't make the charge stick when the church refused to turn over the Bibles."
Tess Skeffington: "Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar."
Sam Diamond: "I was working on a case! Working.
Tess Skeffington: Every night for six months?"
Tess Skeffington: "He was very good to me. He would take me to the circus and give me candy. We stopped going when I was about twenty-six. I'm sorry, Sam."
Sam Diamond: "Twenty-six? What the hell kind of a circus was it?"
Tess Skeffington: "I'm scared, Sam. Hold me."
Sam Diamond: "Hold yourself. I'm busy."

The day I get to call someone a demented lollipop will be a good day.

My roommate and I quote Inspector Wang all the time. "Uhnot quite" (which he says when answering Bensonmum"You are Mr. and Mrs. Charleston?") and also "Is stupid! Is most stupid theory I ever heard!"
Oh, and once we pressed the elevator button and then had to go back to the apartment to get something, and my roommate was like, the elevator went down without us! And I said, "Elevator filled withempty people."
"Listen very carefully. I shall say this only once."

I cannot believe no one's mentioned this one yet:
"EVERYBODY FREEZE!!!!! I gotta go to the can again, and I don't wanna miss nothin'!"

I hate to think what set of circumstances I'd have to be in to use this, but my favourite would be:
"There's a bullet-hole in your back!"
"You should see the other guy."
MBD & Clue = Absolute joy

"You know, I like her, I really like her" always made me laugh cuz it was so random from Maggie Smith, but so appropriate for the moment lol.

I've used both the following quotes plenty of times.
"Jesus H. Christ!"
"Oh that's tackythat's really tacky"
You know your name better than I do. YAY!

And I'm serving my guests hot
nothing
ha ha haI actually HAVE used that one before
Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!

There is nothing in my dish but my dish.

I've used that linea few times! It's not nice tho
I've used it behind someone's back, ex: "Let's face it, as a man she's barely passable" etc.
Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!

I use "sicky-poo" all the time. It's a fun reference to those who get it. And the rest think I'm just being cute.

I would love to use the line "Let's face it as a man your barely passible but as a woman your a dog!" but I think that could get me seriously hurt. I do like Maggie Smith's "tacky" line, I am always trying to say it like she dose.