Great OP, and a great immediate answer. Both very thought-provoking. And I agree, in a way, with the OP. I do think the aliens were careless about consequences for their abductees - as are lab scientists with poor helpless lab animals here on Earth, however, I do not believe the aliens were deliberately cruel and I don't think they tortured or otherwise physically harmed their abductees. But yes, certainly the folks coming off the ship would be "dazed and confused" and it makes one wonder.. were they asleep the entire time aboard the ship? Were they awake and yet held in some sort of stasis-field that kept them from ageing? Heck, if they were, and were conscious that entire time, then I guess that could be considered torture. Wow, the OP really is food for much thought.

Hmmm, well I guess it is great comfort to know that there are folks like you who seem to know just how things will go down when the aliens do come.

A rambling explanation but 100% true! It was basically a really stupid not thought out film.

Spielbergtrying to say that we shouldn't always be so afraid of the unknownthe actions of the aliens- no matter how benevolent in intent- are definitely controversialcauses major upheaval in the lives of these individuals and their familiesSpielberg conceived this story when he was still in his 20's, so the script might've reflected a different sensibility if it came a few years later when he had a wife and children of his own to consider.

Excellent points and Spielberg has commented that he feels this film of his dates him the most as a person. While we may fear the unknown, in this instance there was nothing to really fear, even if the aliens had uprooted individuals from their lives and routines and would've caused a great deal of stress for the families and friends. That said though, those that were abducted during the Great Wars, these were times of massive upheaval on earth regardless and if not abducted, they could have ended up dead or missing anyway.
Don't eat the whole ones! Those are for the guests.

GOOD ANSWER

From what what was shown the aliens were not friendly. In the very least they had no care about us, just their own self interests with some sort of ulterior motives.
Spielberg in this movie is addressing the long reported phenomena of alien abduction, and he suggests that maybe extraterrestrials don't have any nefarious motives in mind. Maybe they really are just curious about us, and this is their way of reaching out to establish contact. He's also trying to say that we shouldn't always be so afraid of the unknown. However, the actions of the aliens- no matter how benevolent in intent- are definitely controversial, because implanting humans with their psychic invitation, or, gathering them up from ships and planes and whisking them away, absolutely causes major upheaval in the lives of these individuals and their families. But we have to remember that Spielberg conceived this story when he was still in his 20's, so the script might've reflected a different sensibility if it came a few years later when he had a wife and children of his own to consider.