“You may as well have ''Property of MGM'' tattooed on my backside!”

“Is this an institution of learning, or a teenage brothel?”

“Helga, I am not mad at you, I am mad at the Dirt!”

"BARBARA PLEASE!!!! PLEASE BARBARA!"

"Miss Jenkins said it was CLEAN? Miss JENKINS said it was clean! .MISS JENKINS DOESN'T KNOW $HIT FROM APPLE BUTTER!"
Okay, the last part of that was made up, but I still want her to say it. It would make me laugh.
I thought I was gonna die! - Roseanne Roseannadanna

"That's the problem, Belinda, the cue cards are too goddamn low!"
"Mom loved every minute of it!"
"She can't. My character's only 28 years old."
"Turn it off. Turn it off."
I thought I was gonna die! - Roseanne Roseannadanna

This thread definitely needs a bump. A favourite of mine is:
"I think you're overreacting, Miss Crawford" "And I think you're UNDER-reacting, Mrs. Chadwick."

"Maybe for some extra publicity."
beat
"Tinait's not true!! That isn't true, you know it's not true!"
"IAM NOT ONE OF YOUR FAAAAANNNSSS!"
"Don't FU** with me fellasthis isn't my first time at the rodeo"
"Not a cent"
"WHY..DID YOUADOPT MEEEEE"
"Now clean all of this up." but how?
"Figure it out. Figure.. it..out" (eyes go cross eyed)
"I was pregnant 7 times with insert name here I lost all of them."
"The best substitute for someone who really cares" (saying this to Carol Ann who stuck with her, her entire effing life and actually cared more than she should have)
"The picture really is a hit!"
"SHHHH! SHHH!"

Lately I can't get Al's
"Just
look
at this joint!"
out of my head.
.

The way Joan says "advantages" to the caseworker who denied her application to adopt a baby.

"You love to make me hit you." is classic abuser-speak.

"When you POLISH the floor you have to MOVE the TREE"
"And thank you, George, and Merry Christmas to YOU and to ALLLLL your listennerrrs"
"Why must EVVVERYTHING be a CONNNTESST?"
"Hello Daddy, I'm Christina"
"AL AND I HELPED BUILD PEPSI TO WHAT IT IS TODAY! I INTEND TO STAY WITH IT!"
"We all go a little mad sometimes" - Norman Bates

Will you walk me to my car?

Carol Ann: "The picture is a hit."
Joan: "SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!"

"Swell! This is really swell!"
Vera had
evil
in her heart, I tell you,
evil
!

• "I should have known you'd know where to find the boys and the booze."
• "Christina! Christopher! Damn it!"
• "Swell! This is really swell!"
• "Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it OUGHT to be."

Darling, rare meat is good for you. The doctor said so.
When meat is overcooked, it loses its vitamins.
I already had my vitamins this morning.
Pills
.

Why must
everything
be a contest? (Ironic coming from you Joan!)

I wish I DID have pneumonia! I wish I was raging mad with the flu!!

Is this an institution of learning or a teenage brothel?!

Final lines
:
Christopher: As usual, she has the last word.
Christina: Does she? Does she??

The reason I love this is because the camera seems to purposefully focus on Christina for a while after she says this. It's close to breaking the fourth wall; a wink to
her
getting the "last word," writing a candid tell-all that creates the movie we just watched! Camp at its finest!

Haha, right?! The way so many of the lines are said is what makes them so great! I had to watch again to accumulate the list I made. Good stuff.

You guys both beat me to the punch. They just showed that scene. Her tone when she says, "there's a liquor store to the right." Joan's comeback was awesome. Ha ha

Six months with this topic, and you literally beat me to this quote by two hours, haha! It's the first one I thought of.
I love this thread. I'll try and think of a couple gems that haven't been put down yet.

One of the best is
"I should have known you'd know where to find the boys AND the booze!"
~
Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way

After saying to the Pepsi board, "Don't fu*& with me fellas," she added, "This is not my first rodeo."
Loved both of those lines, women rarely used the F word in the 50s I'm sure.

Mayer should know the price I pay. I'm the biggest female star he's got. Ever hadand he's burying me alive.
Ellen what a lovely blouse.
You meaneverybody already knows?
Times are tough and I take you out only to be met with smart aleck backtalk!
Don't leave, because if you do, you'll never come back in no matter what you say or do.
If you're acting you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine.
I'M NOT ACTING!!!
Barbara please! Please Barbara!!
Do you know how shameful that is for her?
My character is only 28!!
Those were off the top of my head, but there are so many others I love more than just the usual suspects. lol

"I'm bigger and faster, and will always outswim you"
"Please, Barbra, leave us alone now. If you need something , ask Carol Ann"