Alcalde; "I will model my government after the princes in India, who every month demand their weight in gold!"
Peasant; "Your weight, acalde?"
Alcalde; "No, not mine. His weight!"
See a morbidly obese Mexican peasant.

One of my favourites was when the Alcade was trying to ask Charlotte whether she wanted a blind fold, and then the drums would interrupt him. Always pissed myself laughing at that.

Florinda: [hiding in a box, where Esteban's angry sword thrust has just narrowly missed skewering her breasts] Thank goodness for small favors!
ROFL
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Most abuse the privilege.

Can't believe no one mentioned my favorite:
Ode to a Bandit
His clothes are bold
His mind uncanny
Give him your gold
Or he'll whip your fanny!

This message has been deleted.

Charlotte Taylor Wilson: I'm Charlotte Taylor Wilson. I'm with the People's Independence Committee.
Don Diego: Don Diego Vega. I'm with the greedy bloodsuckers.
Prostitute: What the beep are you doing?
Johnny: I'm gonna kill a bunch of people.

Here's a BUNCH:
(the carriage pulls into the center of Los Angeles)
Diego: Los Angeles de California. The birthplace.of ME.
(with disappointment in his voice)
After 20 years, you'd think SOMEBODY would come to the docks to meet me?! I'm not asking for a brass band, but at least..one mariachi player.
(Garcia is attacking Diego after finding Diego with his wife)
Diego: I do not wish to insult you, my dear Garcia, but I could fight 4 men such as you!
Garcia: You're quite right, Don Diego!
Diego: You see?
Garcia: That is why I brought my FIVE BROTHERS!!
(Diego is clearly outnumbered & tries to talk his way out)
Diego: Did I, uh, say FOUR? What an arrogant braggart I am! Why we don't do this right? Make an appointment.find a convenient spot.
(After Esteban mentions that Florinda is now his wife)
Diego: So, our long rivalry for her hands is over, eh?
(A man is being stretched on the rack)
Esteban: That man was 3 pesos short in paying his taxes. I assure you that he will never be short again.
(After Esteban declares that anyone who listens to CTW will be arrested)
Don Francisco: It is night! Go home, my children! You have heard enough idiots speak today!!
(as a rebuffed CTW walks away from Diego after their first meeting)
Diego: And don't you thing you are being so helpful to the pipples, telling they have ahk-cents, when they do not hahve an ahk-cent? (that's my best approximation)
(Velasquez & Diego have swords locked)
Velasquez: Now you die, you two-eyed coyote!
Diego: I am prolonging the tune, my friend, because I can see you need the practice!!
(as CTW is being dragged upstairs to put in a costume & mask at the first ball)
CTW: Do you realize that your husband is responsible for making thousands of people miserable?
Florinda: Really? And I thought he was just irritating ME!
(while walking on a table during their duel, Zorro/Diego stumbles)
Esteban: You're a little clumsy, are you not, my friend?
Diego: To be your friend, I would have to be more than clumsy, I'd have to be estupid!!
(just after Esteban has pounded the apples)
Esteban: It's my terrible temper! My wife says it will be the death of her.
Diego: (sotto voce) She could be right!
(Diego is exasperated about his misfortune when Zorro is needed)
Diego: My father would be very ashamed of me, to come all this distance, and miss my destiny by.a foot!
(as Diego rides off to give the necklace to CTW)
Bunny: I must try that line myself. "I'm absurd, ridiculous, comical, extravagant!!" No, who'd ever believe that of me?! (laughs as he rides away)
(Zorro has just been arrested & tied up)
Don Jose: He wears his clothes well. I could never get into his pants.
Florinda: I'll bet I could..
(Bunny has just reappeared in that GOLD outfit)
Bunny: I was just thinking you would never be able to do this by yourself!
Diego: What you talking about? I was doing fine!
Bunny: Fine? Silly boy, another second, & you'd have had 5 bullets in you!
Diego: Admit it, you just love the attention!
Bunny: Actually, I had this outfit, & I thought, "Where could I POSSIBLY wear it?"
(CTW has joined Diego & Bunny on the platform)
CTW: How can there be 2 of you?
Diego: Well, you said, when the revolution came, there'd be more for everyone!!

"Sunsing about yor des-tin-y"

"NECK! NECK! NECK! NECKLACE!!"
"I shall be forced to summon Paco, my terrible mute servant!"

Vega Sr.: The sword, with which to fight injustice. This mask, with which to deceive tyranny. And this hat, which needs reblocking
Diego Zorro: You recognize that famous sign, eh?
Old Man: Oh, yes, Seor. It is a number "2".
Diego Zorro: That is not a "2". That is a "Z"!
Old Man: Oh, if you say so, Seor! But in the school, that is how they teach my granddaughter to draw a "2"!
Diego Zorro: Well, I say it is a "Z" for "El Zorro"!
Captain Esteban: Your neck!
Florinda: Did that woman bruise me? She's got hands like an gorilla!
Esteban, Florinda: Neck! Neck! Neck! Neck!

Another of my favorites is when the Alcalde is about to execute CTW (in lieu of Zorro) when Zorro shows up to save her life.
I have always depended on people being nicer than me and I've never been disappointed.
or words to that effect.

Where is "Defeat the defeatless?"
Nothing is more beautiful than nothing.