Haha! This movie is so great! It's already been mentioned, but my favourite part is by far when he has the huge spat with his wife and she yells out, "My balls!" when he hits her. And when she went on that nonsensical racist tirade against him I almost wet myself!
I also love the part when they're in the lab and he goes, "You just keep her in this jar like so much marmalade!" Haha. Love it all.
I get the feeling you're violating somebody's basic human rights here

Were you on the lake today kissing your brain?

Shut up, stop talking, cease and desist, there's a good girl

"Forseps(screech of cat).."get that cat outta here"!!!
Brilliant!!!!!

This message has been deleted.

This message has been deleted.

I hope I get these rightgoing from memory
"When a women who's just had major brain surgery tells you she's got a headache, you've got to believe her!"
In the operating room, commenting on the 'artwork' by the interns.
"I suppose if it was Christmas you'd hang an ornament on it."
And also
"I never want to see that again!"
And when he comes over to Necessitar's castle without his wife
"My wife is a cheap, vulgar s _ _t!"
Bulter "Yah, I've heard this."
Hope those are right!

It's been awhile since I've seen this but there was a part that cracks me up. He's lonely and wants to remarry, so he stands in front of this huge portrait of his late wife and says "Rebecca, if you have any objections, give me a sign." and the picture starts shaking violently, and he goes "Any sign at all." and the portrait shakes and falls right off the wall and you can hear his wife's voice pleading "NO! NO! NO!" and he ignores it and says something like "Well, I guess you don't object. And for the time being I'll just store you in the closet." and he throws the picture in a closet.

What's that supposed to be, a heart?

This always cracks me up, Jamie Cromwell as the realtor, looking into the cat carrier at the brain in the jar, and the way he says, "Oh you have no hair!" is such a riot!
"It puts the lotion on it's skin, it does this whenever it's told."

This message has been deleted.

I know the words to "Pointy Birds" (hey that rhymes!) but does anyone know the words to "In Dillman's Grove"? I remember it ends by rhyming "visage" with "kissage".

Love the scene where La Turner is taunting her husband and says:"and me,so young and HOT!"

"That is the best sex I"ve ever hadwithout actually having itthat I everalmost had."

"Get that cat outta here!"
(to barbie doll "Rebecca") "Why didn't you give me a sign?"
but the best scene (as mentioned before by ronnieronb73) is him giving the little girl directions about contacting the hospital! "But I thought" "You thought, you thought"
That's why the black & white episodes of "I Dream of Jeannie" and "Bewitched" were sexy, baby!

In the course of my 33yrs I personaly have performed about half a dozen "citizen divorce's". Up to and including all neccessary hand circles/forward step and dual pointing.unfortunatly this is not recognized by any state that I am privy too.

"She just doesn't have enough. vavoom."
(looks at him like he's a complete idiot) "But sir, she's dead!"
"Damn your drunk tests are hard!"
"Waiiiit a minute she's not drunk, she's dead!"
"Dead?!?? Oh my god, i better get her to a cemetery right away!!" (steps on it)
"The operation seems to be a success! but the doctor died."

From the newspaper clipping:
"Dolly Pardon wants to have my baby!"
"I almost peed in the scrub sink." (something like that)
"Not only is he dead, he's 6,000 miles away!"

This message has been deleted.

its not necessariy a line but that whole scene when she's about to have sex with Dr. Hfuhruhurr and he has that boner. that is seriously one of the best boner jokes I've ever seen on film.
A tribute to John I made

This film is an absolute gem.
One scene that makes me weep with laughter is near the start:
"Doctor, I know you were very shaken by the tragic death of your wife"
"I couldn't talk about it for a long while, but time passes, and I can handle it now. Her name was Rebec..why?! why?! why?! why?! why?!"

This message has been deleted.

This message has been deleted.

Little Girl - SOUNDS LIKE A SUBDURAL HEMATOMA TO ME.
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr - OH, IT DOES, DOES IT? WELL, IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO DIAGNOSE.
Little Girl - BUT I THOUGHT
Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr - YOU THOUGHT! YOU THOUGHT! JUST GO! YEARS OF NURSERY SCHOOL,AND YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL.
This scene cracks me up everytime.

I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
I will face my fear.
I will let it pass through me.

I totally love when Dr. Nessesseter(sp?) meets up with Dr. Hfuhruhurr and says "Dr. Mmmmmmfur?" and then Hfuhruhurr says "close enough."
I laugh so hard every time I see this.