Oh STFU you insufferable bore.
"facts are stupid things" Ronald Reagan

"It wouldn't be funny if it weren't Cockstolstoy. "
Reality doesn't conform to your narrow views of what is funny.
It is what it is, regardless of what you think is funny.
Besides, yes it would. I find it hilarious, although it's clearly, phonetically speaking (don't apply 'english-reading' to this): "kaak-tou-stoolen" or something similar. So, 'Cock-toe-stolen' might be the closest english equivalent to that phonetic sound that I can muster (I didn't grow up with english).
I just listened to it again multiple times, even slowed it down and listened to the last bit .. yes, I can hear why someone might think it's Tolstoy if they don't listen very carefully. If that's what you are expecting to hear, it -almost- sounds like that - the 'toe' can sound almost like 'tol' instead, so the 'tolst'-sound is easy to hear, but it clearly ends with something different than 'oy' after the 'tolst', so even if it WAS 'tolst' (which it really isn't, if you listen carefully and without bias), it would end with 'ooen' at best (I hear 'oolen' for some reason, so with english-phonetics, it would become 'tol-stolen' at best).
What's so funny about 'Cock-Tolstoy' anyway? Wouldn't 'Cock-toe-stolen' be actually MORE funny, because it's not just insulting a great writer, but is something completely original, wacky and hilarious in the best Chase style?
In my opinion, if it HAD been "Cock-Tolstoy", it would have been LESS funny.

It wouldn't be funny if it weren't Cockstolstoy.
'facts are stupid things' - Ronald Reagan

Hm, originally I thought he says "Cock-toasten" or something like that, but now that I have sampled and listened that bit a few times, it seems like he says something along the lines of..
"Cock-toastolen", or perhaps "Cock-toe-stolen"..
It can't be "Tolstoy", because at best, it'd be more like "Tostoly" than "Tolstoy" - the "L" is clearly in a different place. To my ears, it sounds most like "..toe-stolen" than anything else.
A difficult thing to decypher, because Dana starts laughing at that point, and Chevy sort of 'swallows' the end bit, so it becomes almost inaudible.

John Cock!
my friends enjoy rides
charade social improves the quality of life
charade social is good for you

At first introduction, John Cocteaustone.
Later, John Lehhh.

totally.

John Cocteau-Stone
Scotch/Romanian
Case closed.
Meh!

i just call him john.

Doesn't he say it's "Scotch-Romanian"? Romanian would make it Cocteauscu. A lot of Romanian names end in U,CU, or SCU. But Cocteau is French, not Scottish. Something Cock or Cox would be Scottish (?). Jeez, I wish I could BS like Fletch!

Nice catch, man. I had to Google Jean Cocteau, as I am not up on my French poetry. But I think you are exactly right.
The name's.Dalton

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The closed captions for this particular movie are often incorrect and do not match what was actually said, not only in in the case of the scenes where the name John Cocktos*** is mentioned, but all throughout the movie, sometimes substituting a completely different (but similar) sentence or phrase than what is actually said.
The closed captions might have been derived from the script or some other source, but they aren't a reliable source of exactly what was said in any particular scene of the movie when it was actually shot.
That said, it sounds like Fletch initially pronounces it as "Cocktosto". Then there is a scene after Fletch mumbles a completely different name to Gail, mumbling "It's John Lev I don't remember", immediately followed by Gail saying it as "Cocktostin", a pronunciation which Fletch then later uses.
Given all that, the most that can be said for sure is that he was using the name John.

Agreed, the first meeting with Gail he says Cock-Tol-Stoy..later in the movie the Cocktoaston is the name he uses when he can't remember the previous name he used with Gail. So, i guess, to some extent, they're both right.
In the the two Fletch movies he uses a few authors names, right?
Victor Hugo
Cock-tolstoy..isn't there a tolstoy author? Yeah yeah Leo Tolstoy.
2 cents.enjoy.
The name's.Dalton

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He actually says "John..John Cock-toast-toy". I watched my DVD with the captions turned on a couple years back.

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