He is doing what homosexual men, like you, hate

Could be working his way up just kissing their legs or something. Whatever it is, it's funny as hell just like the rest of the film!
I don't read the script, script reads me

I assumed he was just fingering them.
HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!

I reckon the music sounds pretty fun and playful, and they've got their clothes on so it's not exactly graphic or vulgar or anything. Everything in this movie is pretty light.
There's only one man who'd DARE give me the raspberry

A good, old-fashioned, 1940s-style, old Brooklyn neighborhood-in-the-summertime, beating. A lesson learnt in its purest form. The kind when you got home with your shiner, your old man, who just put in 11 hours as a longshoreman, asks how you got it and when you tell him why, you got an even worse beating. And then childhood memories of the tamest sex scene in a comedy aren't the ones that make you feel "uncomfortable". In fact, uncomfortable isn't even a word you used unless you had to sleep six to a bunk in a twin bed with your three brothers and sisters and two cousins.
And if there was any more whininess about actors pantomiming sex beneath a sheet, then your pops, whose hands are the size of baseball mitts from a lifetime of doing real work to save up for your college tuition, decides the best education isn't going to be from a college professor. No. It's going to be from a Marine drill sergeant. And for three months you will be put through a ringer until every ounce of whatever baby nonsense you had left in you is squeezed out.
Pretty much that.

Elaborate, please.
Officer, I've had a doozy of a day

Eh, that's a bit over the top.

This scene always made me highly uncomfortable as a kid particularly with the porny music.
I don't really believe in bullying but this sentence makes me think there are at least some good things that come from it. This statement should have been reason enough to give you the beating of a lifetime. Whether it was your dad, an older brother, or a classmate, somewhere in your life, a bully failed you and now you're posting sht like this on the internet.

He was reading a book, duh, did you even watch the movie!!

Did you hear the story about the birds and the bees?