"Would Vader and Palps have won?
How would Vader fare against Helmet's groin torture?"
And Yoda vs. Yogurt, and Luke vs. Lone, Sand People vs. Dinks, Schwartz vs. the Force, etc. etc.
How can a parody figure (or thing) fight the original character (or thing)?
In any case, this kind of a question cannot be answered, because Star Wars-movies never explain the limits of using 'the force'.
It all depends completely on what a 'Jedi Master' can do with 'the force', and what he can't.
If he can control everything on a quantum level, Darth Vader could disintegrate anything and everything he wants, without any 'Death Stars', regardless of size (as we were told in the movies, size doesn't matter). Basically, it should be possible, if Yoda's teachings are true, for one Jedi Master to disintegrate or create a whole galaxy or even a cluster of galaxies. Heck, Darth Vader could basically end all existence, if he wanted.
So, if that's not possible, there have to be some limits to 'the force', but these limits are not explored or explained in the movies - and the usage of 'the force' compared to what's explained about it are contradictory and inconsistent.
Before a more detailed explanation about how limited / how powerful a 'force user' is, this question can't be answered.
But since at least molecular telekinesis seems to be a standard feature in 'Jedi Mastery', and Darth Vader can't be hurt by a 'blaster', it should be clear that the 'parody stuff' can't compete - they would all lose to the 'original stuff'.

How we deal with death is least as important as how we deal with life.

I think Vader would probably drop a Vader bomb on helmet, embarrass him and do a few nice top rope head butts, but if helmet whips out the Shwartz sabre, then he would castrate Big Van Vader.