When I went with a friend to see this originallyshe turned around and looked at me and said"is Kevin Klein really that stupid?" I started laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair. All I could think was "does she really not realize he's a great actor playing a f@cking role?"
"when did it become acceptable to be so hateful to everyone?" This is a signature line

Otto: "Hahahahaha it's K-k-k-Ken, c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me. How are you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-k-k-Ken?
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. (Otto looks down and realizes he's stuck in concrete) Sh*t, beep limey cement!"
-Di

Otto: Delicious! Ken: You ba ba ba Otto: Better eat the green one, OK!

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So many to choose from, but I like
"Tell those pigs to beep Off."
beep Off, pigs."

Wendy: My father worked for the secret service, Mr. Manfred-St.John, and I know
perfectly
well that you do not keep the public informed while debriefing KGB suspects at a safe house.
Otto: Oh, you don't, huh?
Wendy: Not unless you're congenitally insane or irretrievably stupid, no.
Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?
Otto: Stupid prick, I mean WHY would be robbing your OWN house! You beep You stupid, pompous, toffee-nosed Ah! AH! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Um Yeah. runs off
Wanda: Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not 'Every man for himself'. And the London Underground was not a political movement. I know, I've looked it up.

"They don't call you 'Harry the Bastard' for nothing, do they?"
"No, they call me Ted!"

Ken: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto: They just don't understand it!

Should I really chose?? Impossible.
Anyway I don't think anybody has mentioned what's not in the dialogue but at the end titles
Archie and Wanda were married in Rio, had seventeen children, and founded a leper colony.
(??)
Ken became Master of Ceremonies at the London Sea World.
(talking all the time, he he)
Otto emigrated to South Africa and became Minister for Justice.
(that's the greatest!)
But I have love in my heart - Yes, as a thief has riches, a usurer money

Edoval Paticano
actually is
Dov' il Vaticano? = Where's the Vatican?
But I have love in my heart - Yes, as a thief has riches, a usurer money

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Wanda: "But youYOU think you're an intellectual, don't you, Ape?"
Otto: "Apes don't read philosophy."
Wanda: "Yes, they DO, Otto, they just don't understand it!"
Otto: "Don't call me stupid."
Wanda: "Oh, Right!!" To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!!"

"Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "Are you married?" and hearing "My wife left me this morning," or saying, uh, "Do you have children?" and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda, we'll all terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know, we have these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this!"
Sheer self-deprecating genius!
"you're forgetting one thing- I just started using laser cats again!"

Otto: You spineless bimbo!!

Definitely "I Wendy, I Wanda"
But there are soooo many good ones
"All that matters to me now is Jenny!"

Otto: You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, beep dickhead, beep
Archie: How very interesting. You're a true vulgarian, aren't you?
Otto: You are the vulgarian, you beep
Otto: Don't call me stupid, lady.
Wendy: Why on Earth not?
http://z11.invisionfree.com/No_Holds_Barred/index.php?act=idx
WLF 3-4

I love when Wanda tells Ken that Otto was abused as a kid or something and walks off-screen, and Ken says, "Good."
Also, "The Ka" or whatever is too hilarious! In fact, I think I'll pop the movie in now to watch that scene. ^_^

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Otto: I thought Englishmen didn't like women, the way they talk.
Otto: So friendly might include actualllllll what? Penetration?
Wanda: Look, I don't need your jealousy.
Otto: Hey. I'm merely curious. Me? Jealous of that. . . Fop!
Otto (in a meditation pose): It focuses your aggression. The monks used to do it before they went into battle.
Otto: Not you Ken you have a beautiful speaking voice. . . . when it works.
Otto: Are you thinking or are you in mid stutter

Airline Employee: Aisle or window, smoking or non?
Otto: What was the part in the middle?
Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I've known sheep who could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.
It's not a line but when archie and wanda are in bed and otto's hand pops up in the backgroundi had to rewind the movie because i didn't even see him right away.
Otto: You know your problem? You don't like winners.
Archie: Winners?
Otto: Yeah. Winners.
Archie: Winners, like North Vietnam?
Otto: Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie.
Archie: [going into a cowboy-like drawl] I'm tellin' ya baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide REAL GOOD.
Wanda-(to Otto)-the central message of buddhism is not 'every man for himself'
This'll be fun. We'll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning I'm making waffles!

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I've always loved Wanda going 'GEORGE MOVED THE LOOT?!' in the phoniest way!
That constant double-crossing throughout the film is so terrible it becomes hilarious!
| ''But where's the ambiguity? It's over there, in a box!'' |

One of the most unsung lines in the whole movie: "DON"T TOUCH HIS D*CK!!!!!"

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