This was full of great stuff.
Candy: I LOVE your earrings.
Friend: (they are cut up Amex cards) They're my dad's.
Does a Woodburger know girls? Does Pinocchio have a wooden butt?
Valerie explains what happened:
Passerby: What did she say?
Valerie: Oh, nothing. I'm on drugs.
(the soap on the tv the morning after)
woman: Wait, what about your wife?
doctor: She's in a coma. You're NOT.
(they proceed to fool around on his wife, she wakes up, and he pulls the plug).

favorite line is from "Cause I'm a Blonde" as sung by Julie Brown
"I just want to say
That being chosen as this month's Miss August
Is, like, a compliment I'll remember
For as long as I can
Right now I'm a freshman
In my fourth year at UCLA
But my goal is to become a veterinarian
'Cause I love children"
There's something here that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.-The Doctor

"Sit down, relax, have a mental Margarita!"
"This is Finland?" - "Oh no, you're in the Valley. Finland is the capital of Norway!"
"Candy, we can't go out with these guys, they're aliens! - "So? They can still be dates!"
Candy introducing the aliens to her club pals: "They're from Mars or something, could'ja die?"

"If i only had about a zillion bottles of Nair."
"nair."
"nair."
"nair."
"I've SEEN things you people wouldn't believe."