Going on 12 years.best pirate comedy ever! It's filled with slapstick, bad puns and fake injuries, fake eyeballs and fake tattoos.. It's good medicine when life is getting stale - well worth watching at least every few months. Best scene is a tossup - the runaway sander or - Martin Short tossing the guns overboard - and the "just give 'em back" follow-up line.
*Everything happens to me! Now Im shot by a child! (T.Chaney)

I love the whole movie! I think it's great that this thread is 11 years old and still being answered.

I don't know the exact words but mine was when Martin asked Captain Ron if he could get them to ? And Captain Ron said "Sure. Any fool could find it" and Martin says "Lets hope so."
And the part where they think Captain Ron is dead.

when Martin gets knocked off the boat by the sander!
I came in to say that! That is the best part in the movie! "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"

The beer spit-take scene of course. Not just for the kid spitting out his beer at the "hide the salami" line, but then Captain Ron's response "Aww, c'mon man"
And when Captain Ron is looking through the camera viewfinder, panning it around the deck, up in the sails at the sky, back down across the deck again, and then the sudden swoop back and close up on the mom and daughter's asses as they're sanding down the deck.

The waving island girl in the water scene. Love Martin's hypnotic little wave back and how it ends with Ron carrying the girl over his shoulders. Also she's gorgeous!

I gotta go w/ the "eye patch gag", where they think Capt. Ron is dead and he's lying there w/ his glass eye staring up at the ceiling, and then he jumps up and moves the eye patch over from his "good eye" "I do that to keep the light out."
I about died laughing the first time I saw that. I rented it again last night, based almost purely on my memory of that scene, and the whole movie is even funnier than I remembered/realized! It has now moved to the top of my So Silly It's Funny movie list
"Grand theft auto is a major biggie down here in Cuba."
Oh, and when he starts dancing, and everyone else joins him, after "parking" the boat and ordering a margarita!
and and

The transition from "Yo, Mom, Dad!" to San Pom de Terre at 10:48>10:18, very clever and effective.
Note, "Stir it up; little darling", by Bob Marley is played over the two kids; it's appropriate to either. This seems to emphasize that the Harvey's are doing all this for their kids, and not just going on a Club Med thing for themselves and dragging the kids along.
Note also, at 11:12, the constable or whatever, stamping some papers, appears to have a potato on his desk,
Also,
Captain Ron's mambo.
The tattoo boy. (I'm glad it was a temp.)
The first festival scene.

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One of the numerous funny parts -
Just after Martin has thrown the automatic weapons overboard
Martin: Captain Ron!
Captain Ron: Yeah, Boss?
Martin: What did you trade?
Captain Ron: There's the beauty. Nothing. Nada. They needed a lift to San Juan
and since we're
Martin: This is my boat. You understand? We don't give lifts to armed revolutionaries.
Captain Ron: Whatever you say. I'll return the guns and the whole thing's off.
Pause
Captain Ron:Is there a problem?

So many quotes. Some are repeats but here goes:
Captain Ron: [telling how he lost his eye] Yeah, it happened when I went down off the coast of Australia.
Katherine Harvey: Your boat sank?
Captain Ron: No, no, no, no. Not my boat. My boss's boat. Yeah, we hit this reef. Huge son-of-a-bitch. Ran the whole coast.
Katherine Harvey: Wait. The Great Barrier Reef?
Captain Ron: You've heard of it, huh? Smart lady.
Captain Ron: [to Ben] Hey swab. C'mere. Listen up. Now, the way it works shipboard is, you do your job. You do it good, you get a better job. Maybe you get promoted from swab to mate.
[Ben nods]
Captain Ron: Alright. Get on it.
Captain Ron: [to Martin] Sort've an incentive kind of a deal, huh?
Martin Harvey: Ah. Good.
Captain Ron: [while drinking his beer] Yeah, incentives are important. I learned that in rehab.
Caroline: and mom and dadI got tatooed!!
Martin: Where did you get a tatoo?
Caroline: In Mambo's shop!!
Katherine: No, where ON YOUR BODY did you get a tatoo?
Caroline: Mo'om, it's kinda private!
And my all time favorite part of the movie toward the end when they're being chased by pirates & Captain Ron fakes a broken leg & Martin discovers him jumping around excitedly because the Coast Guard is on the scene.
Martin: Captain Ron, your leg?!
Captain Ron: Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Plus I'm a quick healer, always have been; 'course I believe in Jesus, so that helps.
That line makes me laugh out loud every time, its all in the delivery. Priceless.
I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize!

Some of the funniest parts of this movie are the facial expressionswithout even saying anything. Watch Mary Kay Place stare at her daughter when the guys in the red Uadi honk and wave to her on St. Haag's!!!
While Martin is waving back and remarking how friendly everyone isCatherine is starring down her daughter with a look that screamsYOU SLUT!!!
Very funnyand realistic!

My all time favorite part is when Captain Ron is introducing Martin and Ben to the engine and says:
Captain Ron: " Yea a diesel loves oil like a sailor loves his rum"
Martin: (laughing) " Why is that, Captain Ron?"
Captain Ron: " Nobody knows!"
I like the running gags also, like that dry rot stuff and "it could happen to anyone".
Also, I don't believe anyone mentioned the quote after Martin rushes down the stairs, slips on the empty beer bottles and whacks his head. Then Captain Ron, Angeline, and Ben are all standing over him:
Angeline: " SEE!! I told you not to leave those bottles just lying around!"
Martin: (to Capt Ron) " You cretin"
Capt Ron: " Oh, Angeline's no Cretin boss. She's a Puerto Rican!"

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Ben: What happened?
Ron: Ah, nothin' just playin' hide-the-salami in the shower.
Ben: (spit-take all over the game board)
Ron: Aw, come on, man

I've seen this before the boss has gone crazy somebody grab his hook

The trapped in the shower scene is pretty funny, the broom handle wedged against the door, the wash cloth covers the drain, and the handles break off so the water can't be turned off.
But my favorite scene was always the loss of the map and the loss of the compass. The guerrillas reaching over the side frantically crying out as the compass and map are wisked away by the wind.
Priceless.
I had to watch that over and over again when I was a kid.

When that sander turns back on and Martin Short gives that squeal and then that leap into the water. I could watch that scene for days!

"Everything's impossible, til it ain't."
Carnivale

"You heard of St. Croix?"
"Yeah!"
"We're going to the island to the left of it."
"Whats it called?"
"Ted's!"
"'TED'S?'"
lol

my favorite part is when little dude goes to move ron's beer and he's like don't touch that and tell's the little guy if he wanted one to go and get it him self,the look the kid gave, had me laughin,he's like HELL-YEAH!without having to say itlol

One that I don't think has been mentioned yetwhen Captain Ron first meets the Harvey family & boards the boat & Martin says "I'd like you to meet my wife" and Ron mistakes Caroline the daughter for Martin's wife. I crack up when Ron turns Martin around, putting his arm around his shoulder, saying to him the typical "you old dog"-type stuff (I don't recall exactly what he says) thinking Martin married that young hottie. Fun-ny!
Also, when Ben is pushed in to the water by his sister & Martin tells him not to worry & tossses him the life preserver, which is so old & petrified that it sinks like a stone as mom & dad watch!
And of course, the falling asleep with the eyepatch over the good eye scene when they think Ron has died, and the eagle tattoo scene was absolutely hilarious!
Also funny is immediately after that scene, the kid is hiding in the shower & Ron says to Martin they were playing a game & the kid peeks out & says "Yeah DadStrip Monopoly!", winces, & slams the door shut again!

Captain Ron
:
It's a land of voo-doo, & who-do, & all kind of weird s***.
Ben
:
Whoah!!!
What we think, we become.

I liked when he told the kid his parents were "playing hide the salami in the shower", which causes the kid to spit out his beer. It was so funny how casual he said that even though he was talking about the kids parents.

The part when they think he's dead was great.
They grab his wrist for a pulse and he just wakes up freaking out "I didn't do it! I didn't do it, I swear!"
Even better quote of the movie.
Capt Ron: "Yeah. Incentives are important (as he is getting ready to start up the boat) I learned that in rehab." ..Absolutely priceless.
"[holding up a bowling ball] What the beep is this?"
"Obviously you're not a golfer."