Where do i start.one of the funniest films iv'e ever seen.
the whole crowd surfing bit.
all of del preston.
garth with miss horne'
''why do they come to me to die''?
''and i'll cross te t's and dot the.lower case j's''
the gaybar scene
''cause i got no place else to go!''
all of it really.
cant choose.
love the way del preston keeps on repeating the same story

Wayne: No, I'll just embarrass you. I'll just stay here and lick the cat's butt.
Garth: Okay.

Anything that Del says is hilarious. The Sri Lanka bit was funny. I especially like the comment he made about Keith Richards and how he can't be killed by conventional methods.

You have any Megadeth?
Would you like to have dinner some night? Oh, I like to have dinner every night.
The beginning when they're screwing with the guy at Mikita's on the voice box.
The overdubbed subtitle talk between Jeff and Wayne.

Hi i'm from Delaware

"Yeh, I have a questionwhen did you turn into a nut-bar?"
"I've SEEN things you people wouldn't believe."

uh yeah i have a question.when did you turn into a nutbar?
not sure if that's exactly right but i LOVE that scene!!

This is probably one of my favorite lines in the movie.
Honey: Take me, Garth!
Garth: Uh, where? I'm outta gas, and you need a jacket.
Honey: I'm going to be frank
Garth: Can I still be Garth?
I'm a Rumrunner, and proud of it!

Del
"To the left and right of the stage are machine-gun pillboxes, M-60 Browning. Now these babies tend to heat up so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so. [Places a capsule in his mouth] Any questions?"
"Ugly is the new beautiful."

Garth; "Feelin' naughty, I tawt I taw a putty tat, Boldly going where no man's gone before".

"Garth, are you wearing Brut?"
"Yesmy woman likes me in cologne."

Garth: I'm dancing!.you're real squiggly.
or
Garth: This coke's gone bad!!
"I've SEEN things you people wouldn't believe."

I love soo many lines, but these are my favourites:
Wayne: So it's like, coming home on Friday night and doing your homework straight away, so your Saturday night is free to party.
Jim Morrison: No, I like it the way I said it better.
Garth: You were at Woodstock?
Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?
Del: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.
Wayne: Who are you?
Jim: I'm Jim Morrison
Wayne: And who's that?
Jim: A weird naked Indian.
Garth: You didn't tell them about my pubes, did you?
Honey: I'm gonna be frank.
Garth: Ok. Can I still be Garth?

Haha, I love the Picadilly Circus bit:
Garth: WHAT A SH*TTY CIRCUS!
Incubus is the greatest band ever

(Reference to Terminator 2)
Cop
: Have you seen this boy.
Wayne
: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
(Cop is walking like he did for the film Terminator 2)
"Jehovah God, you alone are the Most High over all the earth." Ps. 83:18

Wayne talking about his high school report on Sweden:
"It was really hard, too. I stayed up all night and then the next day in gym class, I was on the mini-tramp and I got diarrhea. I really wish I hadn't told you that."

"why do they come to me to die? why do they come to me to die?"

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Roadie - "Check 1,2 check 1,2"
Milton - "GOT TO! GOT TO"
The Thelma and Louise Ending

Wayne - "But my friend's in there!
Really Depressing Security Guard-"Dude, a lot of peoples sfriends are in there."

Wayne: Um, an old man fashioning a Kayak out of a log
Bobby: O_o What?
Wayne: O_O NO!
-. Are You Tense When You Sense There's A Storm In The Air?.-

wayne: somebody just touched my butt!alright maan!
garth: i feel weird!!

I had to beat them to death with their own shoes.

Garth: What a sh*tty circus
Wayne: Good call, there's no animals or clowns.
(or something like that)
"The only time you fall in love, is when you look in a mirror"
~ Bobby Ewing ~ Dallas ~

The whole Del Preston "Sri Lanka" story is one of my favorite parts of any movie.
Cassandra: If I wanted a guy who was all drive and ambition, I would've stayed in Hong Kong. Back there, guys like that are twelve for ten cents."
Bobby: You mean a dime a dozen.
Cassandra: Maybe where you shop.