I've posted it elsewhere, too.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

I could have sworn when I replied to this earlier there no other replies…

While it is true that a lot of sexual harassment allegations in today’s day and age could get ruled as false, I don’t know if I believe that over a third of them are spurious. I’ve noticed that sometimes even saying hello to someone of the opposite gender can get someone to pull out their gynocentric sexual harassment whistles; in my observation though, it’s often because of them having a tight comfort zone within their social bubbles.
Still, sexual harassment isn’t an issue that should be taken lightly, so I agree that it’s best to remain mindful by not touching other people in the work place, EVER; the same goes with doing anything that could get constituted as sexual harassment in any beholder’s eyes. The only time that I’d ever make physical contact with someone would be to give someone a high five or a handshake, as those are accepted gestures within our culture; however, I would only give them one if there was a direct invitation for me to do so.
“There are no atheists in foxholes, eh?”-Keith Jennings from the Omen.

It happens all the time, sad to say. And I agree with others, do not touch anyone in the workforce whatsoever and it doesn't matter what the reasons are. Though, handshakes and light pat on the shoulder are generally accepting, don't do anything more. You could walk up to a person of either gender and say, "Excuse me?" or "Hey" or "Hello, how are you?" without touching them. There are many ways to communicate with anyone without physical contact. If the women don't know you and you touch them, they will get uncomfortable and they can get you into trouble. Sadly, in any society, women's words can be acted as a "laws" meaning if they claim you touched them inappropriately, they will sadly be believed, like in the situation they put you in.
The smart way to do this is to don't go near them and don't talk to them in any way, basically ignore them. If they like attention, they will get annoyed. And try to stay in the range of the camera so that way, you'd be able to have evidence to back up your claim against them. Also, if they try to persuade you so they can get into your pants (sexual favor, if you will), don't continue in that path. Oh, trust me, look up "Brian Banks" and read his story. You will understand how false accusations can have multiple impacts in your life.
You can also try to talk to the manager and ask him/her for advice how to manage in the workplace. But since they already did the damage, I imagine you probably won't last long in the place where you're working in so speaking to the manager and explain the situation would probably be the best course, even with the risks of getting fired.
False accusations are never fun. Oh, as you probably didn't know this, tickling someone is a form of sexual harassment. When I first learned this, I thought it's the stupidest thing I ever heard. I mean, jeez, are people that sensitive? But sadly, it's the truth.
I hope a bear throw a book at you, moon at you, and do a tap dance wearing a thong and leather boots.

Grade "A" Fully Loaded
"Sexy as Hell"

Where have you been? This place has been lacking Ernest gifs lately.

OK, Biden's fan club president….
Grade "A" Fully Loaded
"Sexy as Hell"

If you can't understand a three-word phrase, how the **** will you understand this?

Huh?
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

jerk off instead

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Can I ask you a question? Where did you go on vacation, and what did I mention to you about your trip?
I hope it's really the real you and not an artificial Pinky, because the real Pinky is the best type of Pinky.
"Your emotional state is not my responsibility." – Warren Smith

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Hey Pinky? Is it really you?
"Your emotional state is not my responsibility." – Warren Smith

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Yeah, intelligence and wit draws good and bad people to me. Has it's down sides, too. I used to be tone deaf to people's impression of me–Never really cared of their impression of me at all really if only to a slight extent–which meant that I would wear my quirks on my sleeve and not hide them like most people hide their quirks. This meant that I ostensibly got saw as "weird" or "quirky." This meant that if a narc and/or psychopath wanted to pin something on me, I was an easy target because my open eccentricity made a go to person if something went wrong.
Narc and Psychos are VERY manipulative and pick their targets carefully. I'm not as tone deaf as I was in college and before, but I'm still fundamentally me as personalities do not change (they actually intensify with age). This means I'm still a target/sponge for narcs/psychos that want to cause chaos and blame someone else.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

I agree with you that psychopathy and sociopathy are far more common in society that people realize. Narcissism is as well, but we have to be careful randomly tossing out medical terms randomly because we don't like someone's behaviour.
Psychopaths and sociopaths tend to make excellent CEOs because they have no emotional investment in how other humans are affected. There's a total disengagement and lack of empathy to any human emotion. Some are vindictive, others are passive and just cold and calculating.
Narcs ruin lives of people they get involved with, and if they procreate, they tend to make the worse parents.
It's not as rare as some people may think.
Sadly, a fallout with the #metoo movement is you will find women willing to manipulate the system as a sense of power and control over men, and in doing so, they devalue legitimate victims.
I'm simply presenting this: You have no way of knowing her history, but if she was traumatized in the past, she can get triggered
(I mean this in a legitimate way, not a snowflake way)
and for her, (not necessarily "normal" people with healthy upbringing and lives), that set her off.
There's no way to know if she's being manipulative, or if she might, as you suggested, perhaps have some type of mental illness.
Even more reason to use extreme caution.
It's too bad that your intelligence and wit could be used against you because those are qualities that, in my opinion, we're losing as people rely more and more on social media and less and less on interpersonal interaction.
"Your emotional state is not my responsibility." – Warren Smith

See, for me, it's not the fact that she didn't want to be touched in any way. Although, her visceral reaction in the moment of being touched/greeted was very strange and a somewhat normal person would probably realize that they were overreacting. But that's not where my issue lies.
It's after that she proceeded to escalate it in such a dramatic (and potentially dangerous) way. In going through all the steps you have to do that at some point you'll probably realize that you're being ridiculous. Unless, of course, you are being motivated to do as such with a more malicious intent. She also embellished her story a bit to my manager. I'm wondering what's motivating someone to do this. It's a very malicious and dangerous thing to do. Borderline evil. And it's not always sexual stuff, too.
Every time something like this happened to me, the person doing it to me is somebody I usually tend to consider boring and uninteresting. Keep in mind, I have somewhat very charismatic, enigmatic personality and I am quite smart. People tend to be drawn to me because of that, but I'm noticing as I get older, people will use that against me if they're looking for attention. And the older I get and have a better understanding of just what narcissism is and how the behavior, in extremes, can extend itself to psychopath and /or sociopath disorders even though both of those disorders are born and generally not made like a narcissist is. In both cases, they do outlandish things seeking attention.
And there are a good chunk of psychopaths walking around in office buildings who appear to be normal everyday people.
I'm thinking this bleeds over to sexual assault/rape accusations.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

Shaking hands is a culturally accepted greeting in America, so that's fine.
I think you're getting into tricky space when you attempt to touch another person anywhere on their body. I tapped a teacher on the shoulder in school to get her attention and she swiftly turned around and said very loudly, "DO NOT HIT ME AGAIN!" (I did not "HIT" her, I tapped her shoulder!)
This is the world we are in, so best to just stay as professional as possible and not assume.
There are a lot of men who are choosing to not work with women or insist on being in the company of others for these precise reasons. That's why I think it's best to just not physically touch anyone else without their permission. (I think that among friends who have an established relationship and understanding, it may be more lax, but until then, cultivate a professional relationship and keep it at that).
"Your emotional state is not my responsibility." – Warren Smith

So, don't shake people's hands, then?
I get the whole don't touch people at work thing, but you don't think her reaction was calculated and hysterical? Wouldn't a moderately rational person realize they were being insane, though? You would have to make several mental leaps to escalate the situation in the way she did. She also exaggerated it a bit to my supervisor; she said that she asked me to not touch her and I didn't stop touching her. That was a lie. The moment she reacted as visceral as she did to being touched, I IMMEDIATELY removed my hand.
This makes me almost not want to hire or work around women if they react and escalate to absolutely nothing in the way that she did. Granted, I think the reason she escalated it is because she is possibly a psychopath looking for the attention that she received during all of this.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

Never even TOUCH another person in the workplace. Regardless of your intentions, it's inappropriate, you're putting yourself at risk for a trip to HR. You can't control how another will react to, or perceive, or interpret, your "touching" (regardless of "where" it is), so just be on your best professional behaviour at all times. It's your work place, so keep your work-head screwed on tightly.
"Your emotional state is not my responsibility." – Warren Smith

It was friendly pat on the back that only a lunatic could misconstrue as such. Also, do you not shake people's hands at the workplace. Also, it wasn't upperback; it was more like shoulders. BUT, BUT, BUT, what would make you escalate that in such a way? There's no way you could you misconstrue that as sexual or inappropriate unless you were intentionally trying to. Also, it was the first time I'd ever touched her period (Keep in mind, I was patting two people at the same time on the upperback/shoulders).
There were two cameras in the vicinity, and the fact that she escalated it (embellishing a bit) makes me realize that she was seeking attention. I'm thinking of calling my lawyer and suing her for defamation of character really just to make an example out of her. What she did has all the traits of a psychopath; she probably had a thrill rush escalating it.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

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The word probably was intentionally put in there because I can't prove anything I'm saying. I'm making a very thorough and somewhat researched educated guess.
Kiss my black ass! Toodles!