I did acknowledge she shouldn't have went to the staff. I criticized her for that in this thread 4 days ago.
I had no issue with him expecting the general hourly staff he hired to wear the shirts. My issue was with expecting Lynette to wear it.
Tom was worried the staff wouldn't see him as their boss if Lynette didn't wear the shirt. Why? She's not the same status as them or their peer. They're her subordinates. They shouldn't see themselves as on Lynette's level. What he can order of them isn't the same as what he can order of her. He shouldn't need Lynette to let him dress her because he doesn't have to exercise that kind of authority over her to be their boss.
Lynette did want control (over being able to do her job). Reasonable after the bs scolding over Austin's firing in front of the staff that she put up with (to a point). He was taking power away from her to build himself up. It was to the point that if it continued she wouldn't have the respect of the staff she needed to do her job. Might as well have worn a shirt that said "If you don't like what I say ask Tom. He's the boss."
I still don't know why his wishes or dreams matter more than hers. She helped make his dream reality and sacrificed for it. I can't believe with all he had in terms of getting what he wanted anyone felt he needed another victory or more from Lynette (like she didn't give enough). I'm sorry but it was her turn to get her way (and pretty sad that her way was no dream of hers to go after but just a wish for him to just let her be).

I would consider Lynette in the wrong on this one. Tom wasn't singling her out as the only one to wear a uniform shirt and no one else. He wanted everyone who worked there to wear a shirt. She made a big deal out of it when she should have respected his wishes on how to run the restaurant since that was his dream. Her undermining him going behind his back to try to get the staff to oppose the shirts was a rotten thing to do. This is a good example of how Lynette tries controlling situations and taking power away from someone.
I know you're a huge Lynette fan and I agree she has her moments where she outshines all the other housewives, but she also has moments where she's not nice. I'm rewatching season 8 right now. I just got done with the first half of the season. One of the things that surprises me is Lynette's hypocrisy towards Bree. She was all in favor of Bree taking control of covering up Alejandro's murder and then what happened to his body not offering to help (referring to episode Always in Control). She gets upset that Bree and Gaby didn't tell her about the letter but decides it's ok to forgive Gaby but not Bree? Then when it's obvious Bree is falling apart and needs help Lynette coldly says "After the way she treated us, she's not our problem anymore." (referring to episode What You Call Love). Bree tried making amends, protecting the girls, and working with them but they shut her out. Lynette, being the smart one in the group, should have had shown compassion instead of actions of a cold-hearted bitch. It really questions what kind of friends they really were to Bree since it was so easy for them to shut her out and make her the scapegoat.

Lynette didn't need to be active from day one to be an owner. Tom started the business with their money, not his own separate money. Respectfully, how can that be overlooked?
Since it was the family savings and loans she would also be on the hook for that got it going I don't see what made it just Tom's. Not to be rude or anything, but beyond believing she was supposed to give it all to him (as if it was a present or something) I can't see a way to consider the place his and not theirs.

It's completely normal that people start a business and only one person is the overall owner. They didn't start the business together. Only Tom was the owner till they changed it and made it a family business. Being a silent partner has absolutely nothing to do with being the owner. Two different things.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm very up on the details of this show (probably to the point it's embarrassing if anything).
As much as I can't stand Tom I do have a favorite scene of his. I liked him when he got teary eyed giving Lynette props as his partner in front of the crowd when the place opened acknowledging he couldn't have done it without her.
Please explain what made it Tom's business rather than the family business. Even if Lynette was a silent partner who never bothered to set foot in the business it was theirs. No pizzeria fairy gifted him a pizzeria. The family savings was used to start it up (well the savings they still had after they took out 30 grand for back child support for Kayla). I mean how much can Lynette just give Tom and concede? Again, Tom being the boss of the employees doesn't mean he was the boss of Lynette.

Rewatch the series! It was Tom's business and before he had problems with his health they treated it like that. After that they changed it.

Respectfully I disagree that they were not equal partners. The fact that it was his dream or idea or that she quit her job to come onboard to be connected to the day to day running of the business doesn't make it his pizzeria. I'm sorry if this sound flip, but they weren't Preston and Porter playing 'It's mine, I called it first'. This was a joint business venture meant to support their family. It was a venture Tom acknowledged Lynette was instrumental in making happen.
But even if Tom was a senior partner his authority over another partner did not extend to dressing her as if she were the hired help. That was too much. If he treated her as such what authority could she have over the staff she was supposed to manage? What exactly was she there to manage if she had no go ahead to make decisions?

They weren't equal partner. Later the show made it seem like they were equal but it was Tom's business. His dream. Lynette decided on her own to quit her job and to work with him 24/7.

If she was simply his employee I'd agree with you. But to call him the owner without acknowledging that Lynette was the co owner is elevating his status and poo pooing hers. It's ignoring that she was an equally invested partner in the business.
He could tell the kids who were hired to work there to wear the shirt but that doesn't mean he had the authority to give the same order to Lynette. If some friend or business investor was Tom's partner could he have just up and ordered tee shirt uniforms and told him "You're supposed to wear this."?
As for respecting his wish why did what he wished for take priority over what she wished for? He had plenty of his wishes granted. To expect to control what his wife wore walking into their pizzeria was too much. I do agree she was immature. She shouldn't have said anything to the staff. I would have said to Tom privately "Tom, You're going too far. You're not giving me orders about what I'm going to wear in our pizzeria. End of." and just wore what I wanted.

He was the owner of the restaurant and he wanted everyone to wear it. It was not right to scream at her. But it was his decision. And she behaved immature and didn't respect his wish.