Constance: "You've seen 'Dingleberries?!'"

"Donnie: Can we eat this?
Casey: Yes, it's food.
Perfect deadpan."
I effing loved that line.
I also laughed pretty hard at one of Kristen Bells last lines:
"I like art films. Nothing too depressing, no holocaust beep

Donnie: Can we eat this?
Casey: Yes, it's food.
Perfect deadpan.

Donnie: Eh that's cool, just ask me a question then walk away that's alright.
Joe Lo Truglio is a comedy genius in everything he does. The way he delivered that line killed me.

Constance: "We should adopt homeless people".

That really was classic.
"The saddest thing in life is wasted talent."

"No personal business on company pond." - Constance
you don't s#it where you eat

This message has been deleted.

"No personal business on company pond." - Constance

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET!!!!!
ahahaha it got more funny when henry finally said it

Ron: What am I not hearing?
Roman: A squid?

Alan Duk-"100 dollars at a titty bar or i could just come here for free"
"just call me Mrs. Butterworth, Bitch"
Henry-"I prefer beep-up over quiter"
WallFIshy

Roman - "Dragons are fantasy. If theres magical talismans or a magic sword or wizards or beep crazy not-real animals. all these basic things that break laws of reality: that beep all fantasy. Im into hard sci-fi. Fantasy is beep
Henry - "Does ANYONE here have any ecstasy?!"
Porn Star - "My life's work can't peak at guys cumming up my nostrils."

"The only way I'm googling you is if you get very creative in the way you kill yourself"

your on probation

Best line of the whole show is in the pilot. Don't serve the 2 jiggers!

"It's just wrong. That would be like if in 'Aliens' if they'd cast Kate Hudson to play Ripley. I would root for the fuqking aliens." - Roman

"His face looks like a sphincter"

Jim Abbott!

The tax attorney at the homeowner's party, after skinny dipping solo and everybody staring at him, says something great like "Oh, so I'M the beep " and then he repeats the classic Repo Man line '.ordinary beep people' i love that episode !

Bobby: "Did you know dolphins can change a baby's diaper under water?"
Henry: "I don't think that's true at all."

Again, I'd like to refer you back to the sign

Roman: I went to college you know.
Uda: I didn't, but I still get the irony.

There's a scene that killed me when I first saw it..Jennifer Coolidge's first ep, talking about how uptight Henry is.says his face looked like a 'sphincter'.hardest laugh I had throughout the series. Henry's face, just blank. I couldn't look at the guy from that point without thinking of that scene.