mgulev — 9 years ago(April 05, 2016 02:27 AM)

After Jarrod has rescued Elaine and helped the earth rid itself of the brainsucking, glow-worm aliens, things are getting "complicated" for the lovestruck duo. Their main problem seems to be communication, since she speaks fluent american-english and he expresses himself mainly through a series of grunts, snorts and wild gesticulation.
They have a heart-to-heart where Elaine professes her love for Jarrod but laments over the lack of physical love-making, since he is no longer equipped with any external genitalia. He, in turn, declares his undying love for her and for their soon-to-be-born son. He regrets not being able to fulfill her physical needs due to being hatched on an assembly line, much like the aliens in well "Aliens".
Years pass by with complicated custody battles which she wins hands down every time despite Jarrod wearing an oversize pin-striped suit with matching tie and his attempts to mind-control the judge. She does, however, allow him to see his son every weekend until an incident at a grade-school field trip, where five children and a teacher mysteriously disppear, puts an abrupt end to that despite the lack of any actual physical evidence. The incident allowed Dr.Phil to come out of retirement for this scoop.
An excursion to Sea World ends in disaster as Jarrod mind controls a killer whale into breaking out of its enclosure so his son can pet him. The ensuing flood ruins half of Sea World and deaths reach double digits.
Elaine cant seem to let go of her feelings for Jarrod, so they try a double date, where Elaine reveals her doctor and/or lawyer fiance and Jarrod shows off his grossly overweight girlfriend, who, it turns out, is a street hooker whose main attraction to Jarrod is his ability to "make sweet love" using his numerous occular appendages and to withstand a barrage of 9 mm bullets. In a quiet moment when Elaine steps out for a cigarette (a bad habit she picked up to calm her nerves), Jarrod approaches her to discuss a possible future for the two of them. Elaine tells Jarrod that shes pregnant with the doctor/lawyer. Jarrod asks if shes sure the child isnt his. A cameo by Rob Schneider as a homeless geriatric in search of his career does nothing to lighten the mood.
Another jump into the future shows Elaine visiting Jarrod in the hospital with her two sons. The doctor tells her Jarrods got terminal pink-eye. She cries profusely at his bedside and later at his grave.