Probably at least a year if you really put a lot of effort into it.
My password is password.

I taught myself to play acoustic as a righty even tho I'm a lefty so with some practice I don't think it would be hard to learn. The hard part is learning to use your fingers rather than a capo lol **** the bar chords

Dayum I'd be dead by then.

Quite a while… You'd need to have basic guitar techniques down and then learn fingerpicking, which is relatively uncommon in rock outside of Lindsey and Mark Knopfler. Because of that, it would take most professional guitarists a bit to get this song just right. Guitarists trained in folk and bluegrass would have an easier time with it, generally speaking.
Draft Barron Trump

When you consider he's been playing for decades and practiced all day every day, it's no surprise he's good at it.
Donna/LadyGigi Savige needs to sit her ass down!

Learn something that will actually help you in life, such as the basics of AC circuitry.