Not bad! My mom still has a landline and answering machine…mail and even the newspaper…but she's a dying breed

Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

"Sorry I started late boss. The traffic is murder today!"
"But you work from home!"
———————————
"I didn't get your message because the machine accidentally erased it."
"Machine? Nice try, bitch. You have voice mail!"
————————————
"The post office must have lost that letter I sent."
"You do everything with email so much that you don't even own any postage stamps!"
———————————–
"I kept trying to call you. How come you never answered?"
"I wasn't sure if it was you when you called. I thought it might be my brother and I don't feel like talking to him."
"But you have caller ID!"
"Please vote to preserve the unique character of Warren…" - Robert Duvall

are there really other ways tho?
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

Well, that’s one way to look at it
Alba gu bràth

i dont kno what simping means…but you do you dabadoo
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

I know you don’t like me simping for internet girls but I’m really keen to prove my virility
Alba gu bràth

I missed nearly a whole year of General Studies A level study due to skiving and being a gross single parent at 16 but mostly skiving. I still have dreams about Mr Monroe asking me where my homework is and who the **** I am.
You stupid fuckers, you know who you are.

I sometimes have anxiety dreams about being late for an a-level exam. I have to remember my actual age when I wake up.
Alba gu bràth

I still have homework based nightmares.
You stupid fuckers, you know who you are.

That Dug is a rascal!
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

The dug ate my cloud based homework
Alba gu bràth

Smoking is amazing. I plan to take it back up when I'm in my 50s or 60s.
My password is password.

Smoking is something I miss so much but I hate with a passion.
I'd love to do it again but know I'd never stop until it took me to my grave. So I can never again inhale that smoke into my lungs…
Can I uber 20 Marlboro lights?
You stupid fuckers, you know who you are.

Stress!!! I mean they're eating the pets and wildlife for Christmas sake dazed!!!
Ah ****… Christmas is right around the corner…puff puff puff
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

So why do people still smoke?
You stupid fuckers, you know who you are.

Oh ****! Dazed going back…way back!!!
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

I didn't know that cigarettes were dangerous.
You stupid fuckers, you know who you are.

only the very old have line in phones.

My phone still dies and I wash dishes by hand…cope and seethe!
The line was busy…which still applies at my mom's place
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

My phone died. I had to wash the dishes.

Do they do cavity searches?
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

Sorry, TSA tased me*
come here

Nailed it…I think?

Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

“If you loved me, why didn’t you say so?”
“I’m sorry! TSA wouldn’t let me!”
come here