I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

Are you okay?

Throughout Heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one.

Season with a pinch of sea salt, ground black pepper, minced garlic or garlic powder.
Thyme and rosemary are optional.
Some brush each side with olive oil.
Are you okay?

Oh yes, I'm aware

Lol ur boring as **** dude
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

You're bland and tasteless. That's why I'll use sauce when I eat you. Something with a tamarind taste, perhaps

Don't eat them?
I solve problems.
I'm better then you, and you know it.

True
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

We can't all be the social butterfly altruist you are

Misanthrope
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

As they should. Humans deserve nothing but rotted fruit and filth

Pets eat better food than most people
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

She already ate, ******

Cook your doggess some food ******
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

I think you speak for the entire board

Holy **** tldr
I want to see you cooking your steak
Film it then post it!
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

Young cow
I'm Jesus Christ Son of God!

That **** doesn't even look like steak. Looks more like a cross between chicken thighs and ham.
Waaay too much oil in the pan. Should only need maybe a tablespoon of oil.
Also, the seasonings seem to have been applied by Stevie Wonder. And the egg should've waited until after the steaks were properly cooked in the pan. They don't take long to cook and it would've been done by the time the steaks were allowed to properly rest.
Throughout Heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one.

Kirks chewed up ass cheeks.
My password is password

Those don't even slightly resemble steaks. What the hell am I looking at?
My password is password

It looked bad raw I don't think he could have made it better by cooking it differently
My password is password

I wanted to make fun of you for melting down but this part got me
If you ****ing so desire,
My password is password

I don't even know what the **** these people are talking about with this steak you posted about but you're ****ing retarded with this ****. You probably cooked the ****ing thing like a retard, Mr. "I eat ketchup sandwiches for dinner".
Get a ****ing New York Strip, sirloin, or filet mignon (porterhouses, ribeye, and T-bones are for tryhards who think having to cut through fat and gristle for thirty minutes to get to maybe half a pound of actually good meat ****ing rules). Give it a little pat-down with a paper towel first then slap that **** with a hammer like if it was a woman who stepped foot outside a kitchen. Sprinkle with salt and pepper for taste. Put on a pan on medium-high heat for 6-7 minutes each side. Should give it a nice char on each side and cook the center to a perfect medium-rare color. If you ****ing so desire, melt some garlic butter (with parsley maybe) on the ****ing thing and baste the steak with some of the butter (scoop the liquid out of the pan with a ****ing spoon and drizzle it over the steak as it cooks).
Then let it rest a few minutes before slicing the ****er into strips. Then! AND THEN!… give it a glazing with some kind of sauce or whatever.
But that sauce **** is really only for if you completely botched cooking it. A proper steak doesn't need to be sauced up.
Fucking ****s me up how so many ****ing people ****ing suck dick at cooking steaks. THE FUCKING SHIT IS FUCKING EASY!!!!!!1
Edit: thyme or rosemary would also be good with the garlic butter. Subbing out the parsley for either or mixing it with one or the other would be alright as well. Actually… ****in skip using parsley. Rosemary is the best herb for steak. I wouldn't use more than a teaspoon of each, though. If mixing, no more than half a teaspoon each would be best.
Throughout Heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one.