This film has more legendary joke lines than any film ever made.
You can take these jokes and they will work with everyone. No one can not laugh at them bc they are so intelligent, creative, and clever and they never age bc they aren't of a certain time and everyone can relate to them in their lives.
lukejbarnett

"I would like now to introduce a most distinguished American. This week he is being honoured for his one thousandth drug dealer killed. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Lt Frank Drebin of Police Squad!"
"In all honesty, the last two I backed over with my car"
Guests all gasp and murmur among themselves
"Luckily they turned out to be drug dealers!"
Audience chuckles and clap in admiration.

Drebin:
I'm single! I love being single! I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!

another is actually a poster behind Drebin - when Hapsburg asks him to drop his gun after the "goons dying and plan b" bit - which says "ACCIDENTS ARE AVOIDABLE FORGET THE ALIBI"

Jane: "He's about 6'2, mustache"
Frank: "That's a big mustache"
Governor "thanks to you Frank, our city is overun by baboons"
Frank: "you can thank the voting public for that" a subtle 'boom tish' can be heard in background

"Yeah, I'm dating too. An author. She wrote the book on male sexual impotence, I'm sure you've read it."
It shall never transpire and always be denied

After Nordberg gets stuck under the van:
"Ed, I'm onto something big. I'm gonna need you and Nordberg tomorrow."
"What's he doing in Detroit?"
"Well, send him plane fare and a new pair of pants."
Always cracks me up
Also:
"I told Jane to meet us at the rear entrance"
"Where's that Frank?"
"In the back"
No matter how many times I watch this film, I still find it hilarious

This message has been deleted.

Awfully big moustache
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jack came back down alone. Jill was a terrorist

"It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!"
Then its says "To Serve Man" on the book. HAHA.
I want to play a game.

Yeah, it's like the bartender is looking at us, saying "No, we're not going there. Bet you thought we were, right?"
Love this:
Mayor: Do you realize that because of you, this city is being overrun by baboons?
Frank: Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
Then we hear a drum punchline right afterwards.
I'm surprised they didn't do this:
Bush tells him about this post he's creating where it may mean long hours, dangerous nights, etc. and Frank goes, "I already do that, Mr. President."

Mayor: Ladies and Gentleman I would like to introduce you to Lt. Frank Drebin, who tonight is being honored for killing his 1000th drug dealer.
Drebin (stands up after applause): In all honesty the last two I backed over with my car, luckily they turned out to be drug dealers.
Californication - Best Show on TV

The whole speech Frank was making to Ed about Ed being married for 30 years while he's still hooking up with easy 20 year olds still cracks me up. Ed's face was priceless

I think the scene in the bar is the funniest.
Frank: I'll have the strongest thing you've got.
Body builder walks up next to the waiter.
Frank: On second thoughts I'll have a black russian
Waiter starts to walk off, pauses and looks at the camera, then shakes his head.
And one of the best visual gags has to be when Jane tries to slap Frank twice, he grabs both her hands, and then a third hand pops up and slaps him :D.

She had the kind of breasts that said "Hey! Look at these!"
Frank: Oh and congratulations I hear Edna's preganant again.
Ed: Yeah, and if I catch the guy who did it

From that same scene where Frank meets Priscilla Presley's new boyfriend:
Frank: I'm dating an author. She wrote a book on male sexual dysfunction. I'm sure you've read it.

Well done!.. It's her eyes that reminded me of JL Oddly enough, I also watched
The Color of Money
last week, which also featured her
I've
seen
things you people wouldn't believe

there is a strong resemblance but this is the actress
http://www.imdb.com/board/20557848/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t34

aw missed that