All true. Except I’d kick your ass.
Stop.

I hate you so much you ****ing ******. You always try to sound so cool.
If I ever find out who you are in real life, I will ****ing kill you. Even if I have to die in the process.
You deserve to die you cocksucker.

Yes. I often spent many classes frozen in deep thought about all the ways I’d bang my more attractive teachers.
I caught a few of them staring at me in that way women stare at men. The female gaze.
I once stayed after school to finish an exam and my Spanish instructor got real close to me and said with halitosis breath, that it was an honor that I did my exam. I think she even touched my arm. At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about but in retrospect I should’ve given her some gum and tapped that. Lesson learned
Stop.

I had a science teacher who I think was 23 at the time. I've whacked off to her at least once.
Just because I'm not on THEIR side, doesn't mean I'm on YOURS.

She was very prim and proper but she wore a blue garter half way up her thigh. The boys appreciated it!

In college but not before that. He was married though so I didn't dare flirt or anything. It was a secret crush.

“Call a SPADE, a SPADE; and a TRANNY, a TRANNY, or an IT!!!”.
"THAT'S SOME BAD
SHIT
,
HARRY
!".