Tbh, there's not much practical use for a lightsaber in the real world, even as a weapon. Sure, you could hack some people up with it, but it'll be no defense against bullets.
Think about how dangerous it would be just turning the thing on. You probably be a greater threat to yourself than anyone else.

a wood chopping act at the circus
jestergooning

The better question is what wouldn't I use it for?

My Dad got it for my Son a few years back. It's not a ****ty one, it's actually amazing. I want one myself I'll have to dig it out and show you what it looks like like lol.

Sounds expensive.
Chopper: I'm just a bloody normal bloke. A normal bloke who likes a bit of torture

you have a toy not a lightsaber
what would you do with a real one?

I have one. It's awesome! It changes colours and when you hit it against something it makes a clashing sound

the only sabre a man needs hangs between his legs
You sure are some R.P. MacMurphy…?
Paul P. Powell, Pool Player

masturbatory motions
My password is password.

no, that was a toy

I owned one when I was a kid.