Thank you for your sarcasm
Did any of you stupid sh*ts bother to frisk this beep

"-the extremely corny catchphrases and the poor delivery of them eg.
Dr. Doom: Sue let's not fight
Invisible Woman: No, let's!"
They're supposed to be corny. You didn't expect an Oscar-worthy script, did you?
"-the heat seeker rocket that Dr. Doom shot at the Baxter Building was live for too long"
No, it didn't. Some surface-to-air and air-intercept missiles have ranges of +30 miles.
"-it really doesn't make sense how Johnny burns up so many of his outfits"
Yes, it does. The dude has a body temperature of 200-300 Degrees Fahrenheit.
Depending on the blend of the fabrics, it's entirely understandable for his clothes to eventually burn up.
"-how did Mr. Fantastic thaw out so fast after Dr. Doom had him nearly frozen?"
Probably his normal body heat of 98.6 Degrees Fahrenheit.
"-how could Johnny leave that poor nurse out in the cold on the mountain?"
Who says he left her out in the cold? You assume too much.
Yeah, he had her coat around his waist when he got back, but who is to say that the helocopter didn't pick them up?
"-why did Kerry Washington outshine Jessica Alba (acting wise) in Jessica Alba's movie?"
Simple. She's a better actress.
"-how could Ben Grimm just totally fall out of love so suddenly with his wife"

1. They weren't married.
2. She struck two large blows to him, emotionally.
   "-how did Ben wind up on top of the Brooklyn Bridge? Without breaking something?"
   Good civil engineering.
   "-did anybody try to feel on Susan while she tried to get through that crowd on the bridge while she was nude lol?"
   Huh? Try to feel on Susan? You'll have to clarify.
   Hell, what really bugged me was when Victor went to see the doctor about his condition. All he did was perform a medical examination, but he was somehow about to determine that Victor's skin was stronger than Steel or Titanium, and hard than Diamond. The former depends on how you quantify strength so, it's possible, within the superhero realm. The latter, however, is impossible, even in an unrealistic world. The fact that Victor's skin has any flexibility at all means that his skin simply cannot be as hard as a Diamond.
   The dialog is absolutely ignorant.

I did not reply to you. I replied to the OP. I even put the specific section in quotes.
Whadda you do for a living, sell shoes? Cooka-yayah-o!

My post didn't mention the rocket. Why did you reply to it?
Ben Grimm forever!

"the heat seeker rocket that Dr. Doom shot at the Baxter Building was live for too long"
What are you talking about? All the heat seeking missles I shot at people who turn into a living fire ball have a range of over 26,234 miles.
Whadda you do for a living, sell shoes? Cooka-yayah-o!

Ben and Debbie weren't married.
She's the one who fell out of love. Ben wanted to explain what happened to him, but Debbie wasn't willing to listen. She also dumped him on the bridge.
Ben Grimm forever!

-poor rendering on alot of the vfx eg. mr. fantastic (especially in the scene where he unlocks the door from the other side)
I agree. But, like you said, that goes for a lot of the vfx in this film. Some of the vfx were TV movie-quality.
-the extremely corny catchphrases and the poor delivery of them eg.
Dr. Doom: Sue let's not fight
Invisible Woman: No, let's!
Don't even get me started on that.
Dr. Doom: "Why the long face?"
Nurse:"Whoa, you're hot!"
Johnny Storm: "Why thank you, so are you."
-the heat seeker rocket that Dr. Doom shot at the Baxter Building was live for too long
I don't know enough about heat-seekers, so I'll just take your word for it.
-it really doesn't make sense how Johnny burns up so many of his outfits
Well, why not? It was, after all, an origin story, there were storylines where Reed made flame-retardant clothes for Johnny, but at this point, I could see how he would burn a lot of his clothing. Plus, at the end, the FF were clearly much better off financially and Johnny could easily get new clothes after burning them.
-how did Mr. Fantastic thaw out so fast after Dr. Doom had him nearly frozen?
Good question. They left that pretty open-ended. Furthermore, while Sue and Doom were doing battle, you see that Ben got back in the storm machine not even a minute beforehand, a good distance away from Doom's building. How the heck did he get over there so fast?
-how could Johnny leave that poor nurse out in the cold on the mountain?
He might not have. She was a throwaway character, so they could've just parted ways after shacking up in the hot tub.
-why did Kerry Washington outshine Jessica Alba (acting wise) in Jessica Alba's movie?
Oh, that's easy. Kerry's a better actress. Not so good in this movie as she is usually capable of, but, like I said, she's a much better actress than Alba.
-how could Ben Grimm just totally fall out of love so suddenly with his wife
He didn't. If anything,
her
ass fell out of love with
him
. The bitch went through all the trouble of going to the Bridge, making sure he got a good look at her, just so she could set her engagement ring on the ground before vanishing, never to be seen again.
-how did Ben wind up on top of the Brooklyn Bridge? Without breaking something?
Well, seeing as they were metal girders, I didn't have trouble believing they would support him.
-did anybody try to feel on Susan while she tried to get through that crowd on the bridge while she was nude lol?
I wouldn't read into that one too much. Considering she went invisible, reappeared in her underwear, then went invisible again, and Reed and Johnny got through the crowd with no problem, that was just a sorry and half-assed excuse to show Jessica Alba, at the height of her career, in her underwear.
I'd put
both
hands on that sword if I were you, PUNK-ASS MOTHER-FVCKA!