Fell in a duck pond when I was like 3 years old. I was feeding ducks at the time. A mom with no bra jumped in and rescued me. The duck were of little help
Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange
A walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

If you say " vacation " instead of " Holiday " or " summer hols " again I will give you a near death experience I swear. You are not American, cheese dick.
I nearly stepped out in front of a bus while giving fellow pedestrians the path. Was walking northbound and a group of people were going southbound, to not go through the middle of them, I stepped to the right off the kerb and then back on the path.
A few seconds later a bus came rolling past. Just being off the kerb aint exactly being in the middle of the road I know, but buses are hench and all it would need to do is just catch me a little and if i tumble over then i would probably have got tangled under the wheel.
These days I do not surrender the path to anyone, not even children or old people, I just ****ing bowl through them like Timone and Pumba do to the hyenas in climatic final battle in the lion king because I aint dying for them, **** that, **** all of that.

I nearly drowned at summer camp when I was 13 years old. I swam all the way out into the middle of a lake and couldn't make it back. Luckily, one of the camp counselors got to me in time and saved me from drowning.

I had a close call in the ocean when I was a kid
If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

which irresponsible adult allowed you to go i9n the water if cant swim?