Tobin Bell facts
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Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(August 16, 2008 03:24 PM)
i was kind of hoping the game would catch on. Anyone care to make up another Tobin fact? Basically me and my good friend Ryan sometimes make these up when we hang out because we love the guy so much, what with his one performance in everything and general averageness. Jokes tend to be surreal or based upon him being seen as a really good actor or just doing everything as John from Saw etc
I can add on now that Tobin Bell is constantly acting. He says 'The Tobin Bell people know and love is all an act, every single word of it. Not even i know the real me any longer'. After a session in hypnotherapy late last year it was revealed that Tobin's real name is Derek, a professional actor, and by sheer coincidence the role he was playing happened to be that of a professional actor.
When asked how he approaches the Tobin Bell role Derek responded 'with a John from Saw twist' -
Je_Suis_Poisson — 17 years ago(August 21, 2008 12:06 PM)
. During the 8 months he spent preparing for the role of Jigsaw, Tobin Bell ate nothing but peanut butter and oats.
. When staying in hotels, Tobin Bell insists that each night his duvet and sheet are changed for linen that has been slept in by someone else for a period of three non-consecutive days.
. Due to a rare genetic condition, Tobin Bell has fingernails for toenails, and toenails for fingernails. -
Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(August 22, 2008 02:21 PM)
That's the spirit. That second one made me laugh out loud
When researching for a role in The Butterfly Effect (for which he was unfortunately not cast) Tobin Bell began to look further and further in to the theory, coming to the conclusion that when he shakes his head in LA a hurricane hits Tokyo. As such Tobin Bell has kept his head stationary since 2004.
Tobin Bell invented acting in 1980. Being a known hunter, Tobin is strongly opposed to the fur trade, so when his sister asked what he thought of her jacket he lied to her; thus acting was born. Tobin then realized that he had enjoyed himself during this short but sweet performance (which he gave his own John from Saw twist) and decided to try and make money out of it, which peaked with him opening his own acting school in 1991 to inspire others.
Tobin Bell is always acting. His real name isn't even Tobin Bell, just Tobin Bell is a character he's been potraying for years. Tobin is always acting, he openly admits on Bloody Disgusting.com that the Tobin that people know and love is all just an act and he doesn't even know who he is any longer. After going through regressive hypnosis in 1998 Tobin was shocked to discover that his real name is actually Derek, although he hasn't gon by that name since 1976. -
ryanlennie2005 — 17 years ago(September 06, 2008 01:12 AM)
Some m111core I got from one of Tobin's fan club meeting -
- The saying "fishing for compliments" is based on an incident in 1981 when one day Bell had been told by someone he was a bad actor. He later went out on his fishing boat and spoke to the sealife asking "Am I really a bad actor mr fish?/ mr otter?/ mr walrus?" in an attempt to get an ego boost. Thus resulting in the saying "fishing for cmpliments".
- Bell claims he can fit his entire left foot in his mouth and often demonstrates this at film dinner and cocktail parties. When asked if he can do it with his right foot he explains he can't as his right foot is 3 and a half sizes bigger than his left.
- The saying to go on a "wild goose chase" meaning to perfom a pointless task is based on "Tobin Bell's Annual Wild Goose Chase" started in 1987. In the Jan 4th event Tobin releases a wild goose from a cage and gives it a 30 second head start. Before chasing it down with an axe above his head. After an initially promising turnout of 7 spectators in 1987 people stopped showing up. Deeming it pointless as the goose would barely run, sometimes just sitting in its cage waiting for death. To this day Tobin hold's the event, performing it on a different disaster site each year, past sites include the former home of the twin towers, hiroshima and on Jan 4th 06 the most devastated part of New Orleans following Hurrican Katrina.
- Tobin Bell is in the process of humping his wife on a near hourly basis. Since filming of Saw 4 he has been determined to get her pregnant with a son so he can call him Gideon, the son John never had. So far she has been succesfully impregnated 6 times, all girlsall terminated.
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Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(September 06, 2008 01:44 PM)
Excellent. A few more of my own sir
- When ratings for the show friends were declining (between seasons 8 and 9) the writers decided they wanted to add in a new friend named Pete to keep the product fresh. Tobin was cast in this role (he had been in close contact with the creators after he originally auditoned for the role of Chandler, losing to Mathew Perry by a narrow margin) but the plot was quickly dropped when his intensity did not play out 2000well with test audiences
- Foot in Mouth disease actually spread as a result of Tobin's left in mouth party trick. The one time he tried to use his right foot he was in rural England, and well, the rest is history. As such Tobin has been banned from entering the British isles again and so unfortunately missed the Saw 4 premier in London's Lecesiter Square, and so instead of sneding Tobin Lion's Gate sent along a man who looks like Tobin so most enthusiasts couldn't tell the difference.
- Tobin Bell's father has not spoken to him since he was born. His father always wanted to have a black son and so could never get himself to love his boy. Tobin did work hard for his affection though and furfilled his father's wishes of doing 9 hours a day minimum of plough But it was never enough. His father died in 1999, his last words allegedly being 'Game over', causing Tobin to improvise a tribute on set some years later And the rest as they say is history
- After lauching his decorating company Tobin did not originally intend to become an actor. Instead he very briefly tried to launch a pop career (using him and his wife's life savings) but his demo tapes were widely slated by record companies all over his home state. However, with his new found fame he has been performing a few charity shows at his local church to raise AIDS awareness with such songs as 'Up all night' 'The Bellend Thrust' and of course 'Do The Tobin Dance'
- Never one to let the fame get to his head Tobin still maintains the small group of friends he grew up with. They can still be seen to this day drinking at their old haunt, and the other customers keep a respectful distance. In fact nobody has ever approached him there ever
- Before inventing acting in 1980, Tobin originally tried to invent a cure for cancer to help his bigoted father. It was later revealed that his father never actually had cancer, and only told Tobin that he did so as to toy with his emotions.
- The phrase Look Before You Leap was invented on the set of Goodfellas when Tobin leapt over a wall without bothering to check what was on the other side and ended up crushing an infant to death. The family were devastated, but thanks to Tobin's quick wit they forgave him. In fact he even ended uo sueing them at a later date for the trauma the event had caused him. A rage he worked in to his Saw 4 performance over the death of John's own son
- People think James Wan left Saw to follow up other projects, but this was not true. He left because he couldn't stand being on the same set as Tobin Bell who kept on trying to take too much creative control. The final cut of the film actually belonged to Bell, hence Wan's vision being later restored on DVD for the special edition
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darthlaidher2002 — 17 years ago(September 06, 2008 04:46 PM)
very good Forgotten Lore (although you do seem familliar)
however there's a few you have missed- Originally the directors of Batman: The Dark Knight aproached Bell to play the Joker character, however Bell initially refused beleiving that the film was going nowhere
- initially Tobin was approached to act as the host during the first season of BBC's hit show The Apprentice- however the producers decided he didnt have what it took after he runied the pilot edition by constantly informing the unlucky contestents of his latest catchphrase: "You're FIRED Game Over". Bell refused to compromise with the producers and instead left with his dignity in-tact having concluded that the show wasnt going anywhere anyway
- After much debate the directors of Batman agreed to write in the two-face character in order to showcase the unique range Bell posesses as an actor. However the move was a disaster as Bell took to intimidating the extras on set by constantly harking on about the Oscars he would inevitably win
- The final straw for the Batman producers came when Bell demanded that 8 hours of each day on set must be taken up with back to back screenings of the Saw quadrilogy in order to let the "small people" see what a pro they had the privillage of working with.
- initially Tobin was approached to act as the host during the first season of TV's The Weakest Link- however the producers decided he didnt have what it took after he runied the pilot edition by constantly informing the unlucky contestents of his latest catchphrase "You are the weakest link Game Over". Bell refused to compromise with the producers and instead left with his dignity in-tact having concluded that the show wasnt going anywhere anyway
- the phrase "a shaggy dog story" comes from the time Tobin refused to allow recodring to start on the Guns N Roses album he was due to guest- produce (Chinese Democracy). Bell demanded that he wouldn't allow the recording to begin until his dog has told the crew a story. a team of 20 are allegadly still huddled around the dog waiting in antisipation the album is now 7 years overdue
- initially Tobin was approached to act as the host during the first season of ITV's hit show The X- Factor- however the producers decided he didnt have what it took after he runied the pilot edition by constantly informing the unlucky contestents of his latest catchphrase: "Game Over". Bell refused to compromise with the producers and instead left with his dignity in-tact having concluded that the show wasnt going anywhere anyway
- Tobin refuses to depart his friends wth such phrases as "Have a nice day" on the grounds that he doesn't like giving orders
- initially Tobin was approached to act as the host during the first season of TV's Big Brother- however the producers decided he didnt have what it took after he runied the pilot edition by constantly informing the unlucky contestents of his latest catchphrase: "(insert name) you have been evicted Game Over". Bell refused to compromise with the producers and instead l7eceft with his dignity in-tact having concluded that the show wasnt going anywhere anyway
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ryanlennie2005 — 17 years ago(September 07, 2008 09:14 AM)
A few more facts I got ahold of from some friends -
- On a recent episode of the Oprah Winfrey show when Tobin was asked "what would you say has been your greatest feat?" Tobin replied "the left one, I can get the whole thing in my mouth. see!" preceding to place his whole foot (still with sock and shoe) in his mouth in front of the stunned daytime audience. Bell's interview and promotion for Saw V has since been removed from the programme.
- The saying "the bare necessities" is based on Tobin Bells claim from a 1982 interview that it is sometimes a necessity to be completely bare of clothing. Bell went onto say that he has no control over when it becomes a necessity for him to remove all his clothing, something which caused great embarassment for his son at his 7th birthday party in 1980. Shortly after Bell's son was taken into care for 6 months as police investigated whether Bell (who had been nude in front of all his sons school friends) was a child molester.
- Tobin Bell cuts his sandwiches square or diagonally based on his current mood. He believes that square cut sandwiches denote happiness and claims that sandwiches when cut diagonally "take on a very sinister aura, I take my sandwiches very seriously. If I am in a dark mood, I cut my sandwich diagonally so the whole world knows it.".
- Tobin Bell is a strong believer in the saying "abscence makes the heart grow fonder" in fact besides in his films his family has not seen him since 1993.
- In the 1960s Tobin Bell was originally cast to play the voice of Shaggy in Scooby Doo. However following a few unaired episodes he was deemed unsuitable for Shaggy's light, comedic lines.
- On Dec 3rd 1968 following his army service Elvis's comeback special was transmited throughout Americn homes. However many people do not know that Tobin Bell was at the same time on a public access channel in his hometown of Weymouth,Massachussets hosting a rival programme. It was entitled "The Tobin Bell Comeback Special" and followed an unusually long trip to the supermarket where he had gotten lost in the dairy section for 17 hours.
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Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(September 07, 2008 12:19 PM)
Missed a few:
- It is well known across the media that Tobin coaches a little league baseball team. However, as is often the case the mainstream media have failed to do adequate research and have missed the key point that it is in fact the little league team that has been coaching Tobin since he first learnt of the sport in 1990 when Jay Johnson taught him of its exsistence on set of Broken Badges.
- After securing the rights to the Men in Black series in 2006, Lion's Gate intended to lead the series in a new direction. Amongst the changes suggested for the ill fated project were a new character played by Sean William Scott and a dinosaur being reanimated. Perhaps most controversial though was the series signature reveal of the world as part of a bigger whole turning out to be the earth in a snow globe held up by John from the Saw series, who would end the film by slaming it down on a work counter and say 'Game Over'. Production has since been cancelled after Will Smith passed on it to make I Am Legend. He is yet to reconsider the project.
- 'Come on darling, this cock won't suck itself'- a known bedroom catchphrase for Tobin Bell and a possible reason for his many divorces.
- Tobin thought he would get his big break in entertainment with a short comedy routine to be televised on July 20, 1969. Unfortunately the viewing figures for this now legendary performance on ABC's Comedy Lineup received very small viewing figures compared to the moon landing, and so fame would have to wait until his next big break on The X Files 28 years later
- Tobin Bell invented the press up in 1984 when he fell face first on the pavement when walking the streets of New York. When pushing himself up he stopped mid motion and realized he had that moment created a very practical fitness movement. And so in the Autumn of that year the first Press Up mats were invented by the Sweaty Bell End corporation, sporting the face of their creator. They were a poor seller however as people tended to stick to the floor instead.
- The phrase 'there's more than one way to skin a cat' was invented and proven by Tobin in 1989 on the set of An Innocent Man where he managed to educate co star Richard Young on the ways of skinning a feline. Tobin is known to own 5 cats now (as referenced on wiki). All of them skinned.
- Tobin is known to be a good friend of pop sensation Kylie Minogue. When diagnosed with cancer in early 2005 she remembers him being the first person she thought to call. At the time he was on set of Saw II, but insisted on flying to Melbourne to be with her. As such the film had to be completed without him and so Darren Lynn Bousman had to write in a new ending of Amanda being revealed as Jigsaw's apprentice rather than the original ending where the twist was that John's Twin Brother was his apprentice.
- Following the death of John in Saw 3 Lion's Gate feared smaller audiences for the next film in the series, and so they tried to commission a spin off television series where John would run a set of potential apprentices against each other to compete for the position, and thus allow audiences to get to know Hoffman. Unfortunatly this idea verged too closely to the basis for a show already on cable and so was cancelled.
- This annoyed Tobin Bell who thought it was in the bag and so had began a spending spree purchasing among other things a swimming pool in his back yard. He had to lease out a spare room in his house to make ends meet in the Summer of 2007, and so has since been living with Dan Ackroyd
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whoiseuan-1 — 17 years ago(September 07, 2008 05:37 PM)
I am posting to voice my 16d0disapproval of the vast inaccuracies posted regarding Tobin Bell's career and personal life. You are all shameless liars and should not besmirch a good man's good name by not getting your facts straight. My passion on this matter runs deeply enough that I am happy to provide the reality to these misappropriations of truth.
"When ratings for the show friends were declining (between seasons 8 and 9) the writers decided they wanted to add in a new friend named Pete to keep the product fresh. Tobin was cast in this role (he had been in close contact with the creators after he originally auditoned for the role of Chandler, losing to Mathew Perry by a narrow margin) but the plot was quickly dropped when his intensity did not play out well with test audiences"
Having become a huge friends fan post season 5, I know the friends writers actually dismissed test audience results when considering Tobin's character. However, when Matt LeBlanc quit the show in protest due to Tobin's presence dwarfing his sexual dominance on screen, the writer's were forced to meet
his demands and scrap their grand plans for Tobin Bell.
On a side note, the entire first season of "Joey" was written in the 38 minute period between Matt leaving the show and the writers making their final decision on the matter.
"3) Despite what his biography says, Tobin Bell is not actually 5'11. The actor is really 5'2 but he intimidates you enough to make him appear 5'11"
This is in fact true, but only due to the fact that intimidation by Tobin Bell can only result in 2 reactions- cowering in fear or bowing in respect. Both result in Tobin appearing taller.
"Tobin Bell's father has not spoken to him since he was born. His father always wanted to have a black son and so could never get himself to love his boy. Tobin did work hard for his affection though and furfilled his father's wishes of doing 9 hours a day minimum of plough But it was never enough. His father died in 1999, his last words allegedly being 'Game over', causing Tobin to improvise a tribute on set some years later And the rest as they say is history"
While it is true that Tobin Bell's father's final words were indeed "Game Over", Tobin actually invented the phrase "Game Over" in 1972 whilst playing the first video game "Pong". Had it not been for this fortunate idea, video games would have no end and mankind would be forced to choose between leading real lives or living their days through the characters they play. Tobin, as leader of the Game Over Initiative has been in negotiations with World Of Warcraft creators Blizzard to add this feature and ease the need for choice for millions of people.
"Never one to let the fame get to his head Tobin still maintains the small group of friends he grew up with. They can still be seen to this day drinking at their old haunt, and the other customers keep a respectful distance. In fact nobody has ever approached him there ever "
False. One tourist once approached Tobin in his local, however he only had time time to utter the words "Excuse me" before receiving a crossbow shot through both temples from the barman. Afterwards, the tourist's wife revealed he had said "excuse me" as Tobin had been blocking the route to the toilet, however a local sheriff drinking with Tobin felt that the penalty was fair. No one has approached since.
"Following an operation Tobin Bell actually has the heart of a horse"
"Tobin Bell is in the process of humping his wife on a near hourly basis. Since filming of Saw 4 he has been determined to get her pregnant with a son so he can call him Gideon, the son John never had. So far she has been succesfully impregnated 6 times, all girlsall terminated."
Tobin actually has the heart of a pony. After the operation, his 5 year old daughter refused to call him father and in the 15 years since has only addressed him as "My little pony". It is for this reason he has personally terminated all of his wife's subsequent pregnancies in his pursuit for another boy.
I feel better for setting the record straight.
I also have in my possesion the only published copy in existance of Tobin's first book "Tales From The Bell End - The Autopornography". No sentence from this book could be posted here without censorship, however it provides fascinating insight into Tobin's sexual discoveries. The rest of us have a lot to learn from Tobin and judging by the content, Tobin may have been solely resposible for the sexual revolution in the 1960's. That is only speculation however, and I would only be willing to discuss it in a seperate thread as I feel the need to uphold the title of this thread and only deal in the cold, hard fact. -
Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(September 08, 2008 06:25 AM)
Wow whoiseuan-1, you seem to know your Tobin!!!!11111oneoneoneone
I have done some better research and here are my new findings:- On set Tobin is very generous with his talent and puts a lot of effort in to never outshining even the worst actors in the cast. Whilst filming cult classic Buried Alive in 2007, co star Terence Jay (of Green Street fame) revealed that Tobin Bell's philosophy is that his acting is part of a team effort, with every actor's performance depending on those around them. He has been known to frequently explain this with his catchphrase; 'there is no I in Tobin Bell'.
- In 2005 Tobin Bell set about writing a book wherein a curator is murdered in the Louvre so a professor goes on a hunht to discover why, unveiling the truth that Leonardo Divinci was in fact a member of a cult and uncovers a battle between The Priory of Sion and Opius Dei. However, publishers turned him down because apparantly someone had beat him to it.
- Tobin Bell has already had a tombstone made for him, predicting his death one morning in December 2012 at 6.18 am. It is no coincidence that Tobin is a huge fan of Terminator 3 and has become very paranoid of the world, and has since started campaigning for nuclear disarmarment. The stone in question reads 'Tobin Bell, Friend, Father, Lover. Game Over.'
- In 2007 Tobin Bell invented a theory on how objects of mass attract one another, deducing 'every point mass attracts every other point mass by a force pointing along the line intersecting both points. The force is proportional to the product of the two masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between the point masses'. However scientists turned him down because apparantly someone had beat him to it.
- They say no one person can do it all. Obviously They never met Tobin Bell who is capable of eating a sandwich at the same time as orally stimulating his wife.
- In 2004 Tobin Bell invented a device which can force carbon dioxide gas into water to make it fizzy. Spending his full pay packet from Saw on the promotion, the product would include a machine, a carbon dioxide canister, and one or more reusable beverage bottles. The bottle, filled with water, is threaded onto the machine, and with a button push, compressed CO2 from the canister is injected, creating sparkling water (aka seltzer). He would call it The Bell End Stream after his cheeky onset persona. Unfortunatly marketing executives turned him down because apparantly someone had beat him to it.
- Tobin's daughter stopped loving him years ago because he kept on calling her 'Bruce' instead of her real name, after the son he always wanted.
- After musing with Robert Urich on set of The Lazarus Man in 1996, Tobin Bell invented a new food made from milk; usually from cows, buffalo, goats, or sheep, by coagulation. The milk would be acidified, typically with a bacterial culture, then the addition of the enzyme rennet or a substitute (e.g. acetic acid or vinegar) would cause coagulation to give curds and whey. He called the product Bell End Cheese. Unfortuntly marketing executives turned him down because apparantly someone had beat him to it.
- Due to his immence love of hunting the animal, Tobin's friends give him the affectionate nickname 'Bear'. In the gay community a hairy man is also known as a bear, and so you can imagine all the misunderstanding this has brought about on nights out.
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sigmundfraud1017 — 17 years ago(October 24, 2008 10:33 AM)
Tobin Bell frequently posts to message boards under the name "Forgotten_Lore ". He is very fond of posting unknown facts about himself and his various personas.
He also will make an appearance or two on said boards using the name "wolfbear87" feigning confusion to add both mystery and credibility to the posted facts. and because he is a large fan of both wolves and bears and has an extensive wolf shirt collection.
Tobin Bell wants to resurrect gladiatorial games, and did a pilot where he ended up killing Wolfman Jack with a trident. and because he felt Wolfman was misappropriating the word wolf.
Tobin Bell is the world's leading supplier of watermelons. he handpicks each one. if you have eaten a watermelon in the past 15 years, odds are Tobin Bell touched it.
Tobin Bell was a vocalist on We Are the World. because his intensity is so great, the other performers made him wear a Dan Akroyd mask.
Tobin Bell was a bartender in the early 70's. His signature drink was a "John from SAW, with a lemon twist" -
Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(October 27, 2008 09:40 AM)
"Tobin Bell was a vocalist on We Are the World. because his intensity is so great, the other performers made him wear a Dan Akroyd mask."
"He is also a big fan of yazoo choclate milk and bought the company that produces it in late 2006"
These made me laugh my ass off -
ronin1138 — 17 years ago(October 30, 2008 06:49 AM)
When they pitched the script of Saw to Tobin, he was swayed by the moral lessons he was trying to teach society. So moved was he that he made three surprize visits to pre-schools round the country, in full costume and make up teaching kids not to mess with drugs or they will be sent to 'the Tobin Bell correctional facility for wayward children'like all the others in his documentary. Initially keen on the idea, it was only after a few million complaints that Govenor Schwarsnegger politily asked him to stop.
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ryanlennie2005 — 17 years ago(October 30, 2008 07:10 AM)
Tobin Bell considers himself a great environmentalist due to his policy of always wearing the same pair of socks 3 times before adding them to his outdoor bonfire that he sets ablaze every sunday.
Tobin Bell has never driven a car over 20 miles an hour due to his fear of being in an accident.He worries about being eaten should he be left a vegetable.
Tobin Bell ignores all his family and friends birthdays as well as major holidays such as christmas and valentines day, he does however enthusiastically celebrate groundhog day by dressing as a groundhog and knocking on the doors of those in his neighbourhood.
Tobin Bell is vehemently against animal slaughter for meat, he isn't a vegetarian however but instead eats only roadkill.
Tobin Bell stated in a recent interview he sometimes wishes he was born a woman and to a lesser extent a walrus.
When Tobin Bell is proven wrong he refuses to eat his words or swallow his pride, in fear of gaining weight.
Tobin Bell is an avid fan of Guitar Hero, no one plays with him any longer however due to how violent he gets in defeat.
Tobin Bell speaks fluent mexican yet refuses to converse with any actual mexicans due to his racial views.
Tobin Bell has a rare condition where he mentally undresses everyone he's in the same room ashis family no longer eats dinner together.
Tobin's wife hasn't slept in the same bed as him for 8 years, since he became insistent about sleeping upon a bed of nails.
Tobin Bell doesn't trust the post office, instead he sends all letters and contracts etc by carrier pigeon.
Tobin Bell only knows how to eat with chopsticks, this makes his daily morning cereal a 4 hour routine which is why he must get up at 5am every day.
The saying "to walk a mile in my shoes" is based on Tobin Bell who regularly steals peoples shoes 1ebcin the night. He then precedes to walk a mile in them..believing this makes him become them.
Since his wife stopped having sex with him 8 years ago Tobin now saves his sperm in jars, he has tried dotating them to a sperm bank but they say there is no demand for the sheer volume of sperm Tobin has in his basement.
Tobin Bell's family has been stretched to breaking point due to his insistence on all family vacations taking place in war zones or areas with epidemics. His son still hasn't forgiven him for their early 2003 vacation to South China where he caught SARS. -
Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(October 30, 2008 09:27 AM)
The tale behind how Tobin got his name is an interesting one. It is well known that Tobin's dad never much cared for him (as a reminder, he always wanted a black son) and so shortly after his son's birth mr Bell put his son on a pile with some old newspapers labeled To Bin. Mrs Bell came in that very second and had a hairy fit at the sentement, yet felt the name was strangely appropreite and so his name was changed from Raymond to Tobin.
The world bank knows Tobin Bell caused the credit crunch but still cannot figure out how
It is well known that Tobin is not a fan of the horror genre; as such when interviewed about the role after receiving a nomination for the 'Best Butcher' in the Fangoria awards he was asked why he went with the Saw films. Tobin expectedly claimed it was not the horror element, but instead because of what they taught him. When asked to elaborate he told the interviewer that the films taught him to love again, and in doing so helped him to sort out his failing marriage.
Despite being well known for his love of wolves and bears, it is a little known fact that Tobin Bell has been trying to crossbreed them for 13 years now to create what he described to National Geographic as 'the ultimate beast'. Sadly his enthusiastic attempts have had little to no avail.
During his student days Tobin was deemed to have a strong future as an opera singer. Unfortunately his excessive smoking, drinking and most importantly dairy intake (not including cheese products) ruined such hopes and he was forced to turn to pop music.
Tobin got so in to his role on the set of Saw that he insisted his body be permanently in the middle of the room during shoots even when he did not appear in shot. When asked about his method James Wan said described Tobin as being very dedicated. This dedication would continue in to Saw 3 where he allowed a chunk of his skull to be removed.
It is well known that Tobin has been T Total for years. What is unknown is that he takes this term literally and so drinks only cups of tea. As such his alcohol addiction has been replaced with a caffeine addiction and he finds himself getting very little sleep. This is much to the annoyance of his mother who used to be so proud when her son won The Weymouth Sleeper Award for all but three years between 1950 and 1974.
When filming for Harsh Realm in 2001 Tobin informed Chris Carter of his new idea. It would be a panel barrier that is used to cover an opening in a wall or partition going into a building or space. This hypothetical barrier could be opened to give access and closed more or less securely. He would call it a Bell End Opening. Unfortunatly the architectural community did not embrace this idea as apparantly someone else had beat him to it.
Tobin is well known for his views that 'acting is becoming'. As such Tobin likes to tell his kids about adventures that his characters have and try to pass them off as his own. Unfortunatly this usually ends up scaring them and has own multiple occassions seen them run away from home. Three of his daughters have never been seen again beyond their appearances on milk cartons but Tobin beleives he knows where they are. When asked where he answered in a single word: 'Brazil'
Tobin once famously yearned to never act again following a particularly harsh shoot in Boogeyman 2. However it has now been accepted that said declaration was actually just another example of Tobin acting. As such even his closest friends and family don't trust him.
Since not being able to sell his stock elsewhere, Tobin has opened his own sperm bank in his New York home. The business is entitled Bell End Sperm and attracts business from many middle aged women including his old college friend Ellen Burstyn. Also disturbingly his own sister Tanya Bell. When asked if she was jealous of her brother's accomplishments Tanya Bell laughed
Tobin has tried to give himself the nickname Horse Face for years now because he does indeed beleive he looks like a horse. Sadly nobody else has ever thought this and so the nickname has never caught on save for the brief period where he lived with Dan Aykroyd.
Tobin beleives 'there is more to sodomy than meets the eye'. He is yet to elaborate on this belief despite it being brought up during most interviews. Instead of answering he usually distracts the reporter by telling a joke or sometimes taking a large bite out of a raw onion.
While scholars maintain Tobin was brought up in Weymouth this is only a half truth. He only arrived there aged twelve after crossing the mexican border in pursuit of The American Dream. The pain he encountered on route (many deaths and deep financial woe) is not one that he often talks about and so biographers tend to just say he grew up in Weymouth because it is easier
Tobin Bell beleives he is not a man but an abstract concept; thus when other people aren't in the room with him, thinking about him or watching him then he ceases to exist. Unfortunately such a theory is 2000impossi -
Forgotten_Lore — 17 years ago(November 04, 2008 05:01 AM)
- laughs out loud *
Probably worth mentioning that my attention has been drawn towards some supposed inconsistencies in the lore. However, there are no flaws. Tobin is a piligimist hence he has amny wives; one that he hasn't seen since 1993, one that hasn't had sex with him in 8 years because he sleeps on a bed of nails, one who he has sex with every night to try and have a son, one who ne goes down on while eating a sandwich and one who he used to say 'this cock won't suck itself' too We know what we're doing and are sticklers for consistency
Now just the issue of his birth to resolve
- laughs out loud *
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disastrophy — 17 years ago(November 04, 2008 06:53 PM)
FUNNIEST THREAD IN HISTORY!!!
Truly amazing body of work you've compiled right here and well deserving of publication as Mr Bell's Absolutely 1,000,000% Official Biography. You girls are genius!
I have a few facts to contribute:
Tobin Bell's official autobiography, titled "I Want To Play A Game", is sealed with plastic film. Upon opening, fans find 420 pages of what appears to be blank white paper. Do not be fooled however; herein we find the game that Mr. Bell wants to play. The paper is in fact not blank, but written with invisible ink that can only be read under a blacklight with a phosphor of SrP2O7 and peak width of nanometer 420, more commonly known as Blacklight Used For The Purpose of Growing Hemp, and also used in nail bars to polymerize (aka "cure") gel nails.
Upon obtaining this special blacklight, the ink not only becomes readable, but the book itself instantly morphs into a 420 square meter map, which when properly unfolded transpires to be nothing more than a giant game of ludo, completely devoid of anything in the way of autobiographical information about its author. You feel screwed, right? Don't blame Tobin Bell. He never forced you to obtain a blacklight and unfold the whole damn book. You had the free will to say "I can't be bothered with all this BEEP". It wa1ebcs your CHOICE to investigate. The moral of this story is simple: do not waste your time and money on anything other than getting high.
The above information is also reputedly the basis for the plot of Bell's future movie, Saw 420, due for release in 2012.
- shameless utilizion of sig for no reason in particular -