1. The Da Vinci Code
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miss_john — 19 years ago(January 21, 2007 10:12 AM)
If anyone is interested find below a link to the archive of all Mark's reviews on Five Live. I don't always agree, but I always laugh!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive/entertainment/kermode_archive_a2z.shtml -
Det_McNulty — 19 years ago(February 03, 2007 12:14 PM)
Lol, I put them all on my iPod.
Anyway I love awesome rant on
Little Man
, very amusing and he's always extremely accurate when reviewing such dire examples of cinema.
"
A coward you are, Withnail. An expert on bulls you are not
" -
teh_mode — 19 years ago(February 24, 2007 08:17 AM)
1 Last Days "I know the tree is more interesting than Michael Pittbut it's a TREE!!!!"
2 Little Man "I've seen some offensive films in my time: SS Experiment, Cannibal Holocaust, I Spit On Your Grave, Cannibal Ferouxbut I STRUGGLE to thinkof something more grotesque than Little Man"
3 POTC 2 "[up until this point] We have invested in 4 hours of these characters, so what wee need is a reaction from Orlando Bloom that says 'BLIMEY!!! CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW IS KISSING MY MISSUS TO BE!!!' And they cut to Orlando Bloom, and he literally looks like somebody who's just been told that Cbeebies is off air for the moment, and you'll have to put up with someobdy building a vase, and listening to music".
4 Revolver "I can wake up tommorow morning and think I didn't make that film. But Guy Ritchie has to wake up and think I made REvolver, he'll see a poster for it and thinda0k that came out of my head"
5 The Family Stone "Why is there a chair sitting on that sofa? No that's not a sofa, that's Dermot Mulroney! Why is that woman hugging a wardrobe? No that's not a wardrobe, that is Dermot Mulroney!!!" -
Orloondo_Bland — 17 years ago(October 18, 2008 03:10 PM)
2 Little Man "I've seen some offensive films in my time: SS Experiment, Cannibal Holocaust, I Spit On Your Grave, Cannibal Ferouxbut I STRUGGLE to thinkof something more grotesque than Little Man"
HA! This is the one that stands out for me, when he said Little Man was evil and possessed by Satan, utter genius, and everybody involved should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves -
GetTalOn — 17 years ago(December 03, 2008 07:07 PM)
If* they ever remake The Exorcist, Simon Mayo should just hand over the entire three hours of his show to Mark.
My favourite rant ever is either Revolver, Last Days or Green Street. The last two come from the same podcast, when they are at one of the 05 Ashes tests and Mark initially thinks he is pushed for time so rants really fast. Then the covers come on and he still rants really fast, it's genius.
*when -
Tweekums — 17 years ago(December 04, 2008 02:16 AM)
If* they ever remake The Exorcist, Simon Mayo should just hand over the entire three hours of his show to Mark.
I can see it now:
Exorcist Movie
Directed by Michael Bay from a screen play by the Wayan Brothers, staring Julian Sands, Val Kilmer and with Gwenith Paltrow as Regan (her head will be digitally added to a child's body la
Little Man
[Rated 12a] I just hope he doesn't read this or he might have a breakdown just thinking about it
I'm only going to say this once: stay out of Camberwick Green - Sam Tyler -
seanwilson731 — 17 years ago(April 04, 2009 05:42 AM)
just listened to his verdict on the grudge 2, god i havent laughed that hard in a while: 'a pasty long haired japanese girl going urrrrrrrrggggh! joined by a pasty little japanese boy going urrrrrrrrrrrggggh!
i was crying -
goodkat2 — 17 years ago(January 10, 2009 05:02 AM)
I think his best is definitely ,Pirates [ At Worlds End ]
I was listening to the podcast today and he really gave ' Bride Wars' a good slagging off
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the west -
Tweekums — 17 years ago(January 10, 2009 12:55 PM)
I was listening to the podcast today and he really gave ' Bride Wars' a good slagging off
I think that rant will go down as a classic I just hope there aren't ten films worse than that this year, I'd hate it if he quit
I'm only going to say this once: stay out of Camberwick Green - Sam Tyler -
goodkat2 — 17 years ago(February 09, 2009 12:05 PM)
His rant on Benjamin Button is quite a good rant!!! I have to agree with him on it!!!
Yeah me too
Ive seen Button and it was ok , but just ok , nothing great
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the west