I'm black/Japanese and I think it's perfectly acceptable for Asians to be a bit protective of their culture. If it wasn
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Coolestmovies — 16 years ago(June 29, 2009 03:28 PM)
Well, unlike others who've responded to "Luckyrabbit87", I personally agree with most of what she says (in part due to wonderful, enriching personal experiences).
I can't comment on the Asian/Black thing other than to say that I have seen PLENTY of such couples in the massive city where I live, just as I would expect to see: cities may have their ethnic "enclaves" wherein the culture can be protected/enforced/encouraged by the elders, but cities are also ethnically diverse, and if you think you're precious little Korean or Chinese or Black or Indian child is going to grow up SOLELY exposed to his or her own kind, you're delusional, and because these kids grow up to be more comfortable around MANY cultures (unlike their immigrant parents) that's no reason to call them hurtful names. If anything, they're PROGRESSIVE. They don't buy into the insidious cultural protectionism of their parents. If they meet "one of their own" on their own terms (i.e. NOT through artificial familial arrangementsmommy and daddy know chemistry? Sure.), they're cool with maintaining the status quo. If, on the other hand, they meet someone who's NOT of their own culture, and fall in love with that person, and are willing to sacrifice to BE with that person, then that should be respected and understood rather than reduced to a pitiful straw-man argument, as many here have done. Their families may throw tantrums or play the racial pollution card, but that's really about all they've got, and it's pretty pathetic to use it to enforce something that not every young person agrees with.
Don't know about the education angle, etc. There are dumb people and smart people in all cultures. Some times they attract each other, sometimes they attract the opposite. End of story.
I do feel bad that any Asian (female OR male) who is attracted to someone not of their own culture is somehow a sellout, or full of self-hatred, or a white-worshipper, and so on. But then again, the very kind of cultural protectionism I've outlined above breeds EXACTLY the kind of TRUE cultural ignorance demonstrated by Aurelia4 in response to LuckyRabbit's measured and thoughtful post. It's THESE kind of people in any culture who worry: so quick to hate; so easy to rile; so full of empty nationalism. These are the people who often end up RUINING their children's lives because they won't budge on matters like these. -
Coolestmovies — 16 years ago(June 30, 2009 10:07 PM)
Who?
I can't tell if you're responding to me, or the "post deleted" commenter above you (or maybe that was you, Aurelia 4??).
If it's me, then I don't understand how I'm an Asiaphile just because I support ALL relationships regardless of ethnicity (Same skin color? Cool! Different skin color? Cool!). In fact, in my previous post, I made reference to my own experiences, but I didn't say WHAT those were, or the ethnicity of my girlfriend, so I surely hope that isn't what made you jump to the "asiaphile" slur. Then again, if I said she was Indian, you'd call me an "India-phile" right? Or if she was Lebanese, you'd call me a "MidEast-a-phile" right? And if she was black? Well, what kind of "-phile" do you have for that? "Afro-phile?" "Caribbean-o-phile"? "Guyana-phile?" Naturally, it wouldn't matter that we were BOTH BORN IN THE SAME COUNTRY AND CULTURE (Canada) but just have different ethnic heritages, right? Of COURSE that doesn't matter, not to the narrow-minded rubes of this world spouting the same old INHERITED prejudices! LOL
To those who do believe in this whole "Asiaphilia, etc" thingand I'm NOT saying the previous poster was referring to me, but I suspect he/she waswhat draws you anyone the conclusion that EVERY person, REGARDLESS of their ethnicity, who dates someone from another ethnicity is somehow a "_______-phile", a sellout, or full of self-loathing, or unable to handle "his/her own kind", etc. Oh yeah, and before anyone answers, keep in mind that MOST mixed relationships do NOT involve "white" people at all. Half-white couples may be the largest PERCENTAGE, but they don't make up the highest NUMBERS of mixed couplings. Shocking, eh?
ANYONE who feels that mixed relationships are somehow the product of inferiority complexes, psychological issues, cultural imperialism or even just plain old-fashioned exoticism (have you even LIVED in a city in the past 25 years??) are clearly and evidently of the mindset that one only MUST only date/love/marry one's own kind. In other words, a racist. The sad thing is that a portion of EVERY culture thinks that way. INSIDE THE BOX. What a sad way to live.
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ynnlee77 — 16 years ago(January 09, 2010 01:44 AM)I just wanted to give my story briefly. I'm 100% white 3rd gen Canadian, and for some reason since young girl have either been attracted to either white, Native american, or asian. I've only dated one half-chinese, and one full chinese guy, other than that all white. Got married to a white Welsh guy and he was a horrible person who cheated on me. Left him, swore off all men for a year, worked on the messy divorce.
One year later started trying to look, that's hard to do after not dating for 6 years. Out of no-where at my current job store manager told me our new sub area manager who'd just transfered over was my age and single, I checked him out like all woman do when told to check out a guy and though humm tall 6 foot, good build, my age, single, and good job. So I started flirting with him.
The was 3 yrs ago, we're getting married this May, he is a full Chinese immagrant, came over when he was 14. I don't hate white, love white, and LOVE Canada. And don't love or hate China, I'm not Chinese and he's considers himself Canadian. I'm a tad worried about our future "half-breeds" as people like to call them, and I do hope that they are and feel CANADIAN!!! They won't be White or Chinese, but where they are born, is a very special multi-cultural nation. -
ballisticliz — 15 years ago(November 09, 2010 12:58 PM)
ok, looks in the mirror, I'm "white" also 3rd generation albertain CANADA and, looks in pants, FEMALE my husband is NOT! but he is about 6 foot and very very chineese in everyway on both his sides. also in my family there are TWO of my FEMALE cousins who are also both white and have married chineese men, so personally of family members I know 3 females including myself who have married chinese men, oh and they both have kids two, danm danm cute, we're gonna start trying next year BTW. So yea, I don't quite agree with your opinion.
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jeanne_jung — 13 years ago(August 16, 2012 08:59 AM)
Yup she is married to a Korean businessman. I wonder why everyone asks a Korean woman if she's married to a Korean guy? It's nothing strange. I have lived my whole life in Korean and I was asked a same question while I was visiting an American hospital(I am a doc). Of course most are, as I am.