watered-down penicillin?
-
Altho73 — 18 years ago(August 28, 2007 04:01 AM)
How come that the hero of the movie never wears glasses or contact lenses. (Would be a bit difficult when armed bad guys storm into his bedroom in the middle of the night for him to ask them to hold on until he puts his contacts in before shooting it out with them).
In movies that show the heroes ageing over a period of thirty years they never lose their hair despite already having a receding hairline at the start. They appear thirty years later with white hair but exactly the same hairline.
How come that hero detectives who have temper tantrums every few minutes were ever have allowed to have joined the force in the first place, and why are they not fired when it it blatantly obvious that they have psychological problems.
How come that the big cheese of the Mafia or other criminal organisation always supervise and sometimes even carry out killings themselves. In reality they would put as much distance as possible between themselves and actual killings.
In World War 2 movies when escaping GI's have to impersonate German soldiers to avoid detection even the most poorly educated soldier can always speak perfect German.
In World War 2 movies high ranking German officers always converse in English even when they are in battle briefings.
How come that the hero always has his Colt 45 readily available even when shopping at a convenience store and even when away on vacation.
How does the hero manage to travel overseas on vacation whilst carrying his Colt 45, don't airport security devices manage to detect it.
How come that the hero detective is always the first at the scene of a crime even when he is off duty. Does he spend all his free time driving around looking for crimes.
How do heroes and heroines always manage to walk into jobs that they have zero qualifications and zero knowledge about. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(August 28, 2007 09:22 AM)
Why does the hero or heroine still have the same physique or figure he or she had 30 years ago when they age in the film?
In war films, why do no two men in the squad come from the same state, let alone the same city?
How come, when a cop or private eye has to bodyguard a woman, she's always single, gorgeous, and falls in love with him?
Why do you almost never see police officers or federal agents in movies about organized crime?
When the hero is knocked out, the thugs are always ordered to take him some place and kill him. Why not just kill him there?
In horror films, why is the wimpiest, smallest girl always the one who turns into a Green Beret and kills the murderer after beating the hell out of him?
Why do people insist on entering dark, silent rooms in spooky mansions alone after two or three people have already been murdered?
Why does the villain always want to taunt the hero before he kills him, giving him a chance to get the upper hand? Why doesn't he just shut up and kill him?
Why does the hero cop always rush in to take on 5-6 bad guys, instead of waiting for back up?
In teen movies, why do the wimps and the punks always unite against the mean rich kids? In real life, rich kids go to private schools and the punks beat on the wimps. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(August 28, 2007 07:16 PM)
Neither of us is mocking anyone. We are merely comparing notes on all the cliches so common in film and television for the last 50 years or more that defy reality and logic. Frankly, I'm having a lot of fun. For instance, why is everyone so quick to use their fists in public on television and in movies? In real life, this often results in assault charges and lawsuits. In film/TV, it almost never has any consequences. People hit when a simple "S_ _ _w you!" would suffice in the real world.
Thank you for the compliment. -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(August 29, 2007 05:53 AM)
Neither of us is mocking one another, we're recalling all the cliches and unbelievable moments that we have seen in countless movies over the years.
Why in countless prison movies from the 1920's onwards (except Laurel and Hardy in 'The Second Hundred Years') are the inmates never given prison haircuts.
In prison movies the Warden always seems to be a man of integrity and keen on prison reform while the Guard Captain is always sadistic and full of evil.
How can leading men constantly and persistantly harass a woman with their unwanted advances without having their face slapped or be charged with harassment.
How can the hero (when he has to get to a certain place to prevent a misscarriage of justice) drive a car recklessly at high speeds for over half an hour without being stopped by the police or accidentally injure a bystander.
Why does the hero always arrive with new evidence a few minutes before the wrongly convicted man is about to be executed.
Why do the police department never face huge lawsuits when a maverick cop wrecks dozens of cars, shop windows, hedges, lawns etc with his recklessness.
When a film character shoved a pie in another character's face why does he/she stand there and let them do it. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(August 29, 2007 07:58 AM)
Indeed. And let us not forget:
When the hero takes up the cause of a condemned man swearing his innocence, how come he never finds out the guy is actually guilty?
Why do beautiful rich girls fall in love with bumbling losers who "accidentally" kidnap them?
Why do "good guy" police detectives in movies never face punishment or law suits for their acts of brutality?
In so many Cold War films made in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, why is the Communist secret police commander a likable grandfatherly type more interested in chess, classical music, or the upcoming birth of his new grandchild than catching Western spies while the CIA leader is an oily, corporate type only interested in the job?
Why do so many car chases involve just two cars, with no intervention from patrol cars who would normally be called in by the pursuing officer?
Why do criminal suspects never listen to their lawyers when they tell them, "Don't answer that question" ?
In a parent vs. adult child confrontation, why is the child always on the side of right and the parent always on the side of wrong?
Why does the villain try to kill the captured hero by slow and torturous means he always manage to escape from instead of just killing him outright?
In British war films, why is the American always reckless and from Texas? In American war films, why is the British officer always stuffy and imperious?
Why, when a police officer goes undercover impersonating someone, does one of three things always happen: 1)The real guy shows up, or 2) Someone who knows the real guy shows up, or 3) The bad guys ask the one question he doesn't know the right answer to?
Why do so many high school girls on TV and movies look 25 and have gorgeous mothers who look 35?
In heist movies (films sympathetic to the criminal), why is the thief always young, handsome, and likable, and the cop middle-aged, ugly, and obnoxious?
Why do criminal suspects almost always break down and confess at the end of the movie/episode instead of just clamming up and calling their lawyers? -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(August 30, 2007 09:13 AM)
Why do the suspects in 'Columbo' always discuss the case with him and let him follow them everywhere and are always happy to talk to him and therby get themselves deeper and deeper in trouble. Why don't any of them simply refuse to talk to him.
Strange that Lt Columbo is never given murder cases in the rough neighborhoods of south LA where nobody sees anything and nobody would want to be seen talking to cops.
In 'The Shawshank Redemption' it defies belief that Andy was able to dig an escape tunnel (that construction engineers would be proud of) over a period of ten years without any of the guards ever hearing or seeing anything. The entrance to the tunnel is screened by a movie poster which should have been constantly blown outwards by the draft.
In 'The Flight of the Phoenix' it's strange that all the tools and equipment needed to rebuild a plane was in the cargo hold of the crashed plane.
In 'Tough Guys' Kirk Douglas recently released from 30 years in prison and on his first day working as an ice cream vendor bullies a child by smearing ice cream all over his face, an act that would have had him immediately sent back to prison.
In 'Pacific Heights' a newly married ordinary couple are able to afford a property in San Francisco's Pacific Heights area? Unlikely.
In 'Titanic' Jack a third class passenger has no problems at all meeting a first class passenger and is regularly in the first class areas.
In 'Carry on Doctor' Bernard Bresslaw (6'7" and 250 lbs) manages to get into one of the women's wards by dressing up in a female nurse's uniform, yet remarkably neither the nurse on duty nor any of the patients notice anything strange!!!!!
In 'The Poseidon Adventure' a preacher (Gene Hackman's character) knows more about what to do after the capsizing than a ship's officer does. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(August 30, 2007 11:41 AM)
No matter when the story takes place, the hero always has current day moral and political values.
In Westerns the hero makes long treks across the desert, but he only has one small canteen with nowhere near enough water to last one day.
Why do rich, childless uncles and their nephews always despise each other on TV and in movies?
Perry Mason, Matlock, and just about every lawyer on TV you can think of virtually always defended innocent people, and found the real killer - right in the courtroom.
In "Wedding Crashers" the ordinary guy naturally falls in love with the beautiful rich girl, who is engaged to a rich creep she doesn't love. How many times have we seen that one?
Why are kids on TV almost always wiser than their parents?
Kidnapped rich men always have beautiful wives. There is always a mutual attraction between the wife and the handsome rescuer. Of course, nothing ever happens - at least not on TV. Movies maybe, but they usually go back to their dull, ordinary husbands.
I've got a lot more, but I have to go for now. Have we repeated ourselves even once yet? If not, that's almost scary. -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(August 31, 2007 01:23 PM)
In several British films of the 60's and 70's the lovely young woman who wants to marry the hero always has a man-hating, dragon of a mother.
In 'Star Trek' whichever planet in whichever galaxy that Captain Kirk and his crew visited the natives of that planet could always speak English.
When an unpopular politician makes an open air speech it seems strange that so many people in the audience have brought along plenty of rotten fruit to chuck at him.
Why is it that when a movie is set in a city like LA with a large Hispanic population that so few of the people walking in the background are Hispanic.
Whenever the hero has to hail a taxi to chase a bad guy escaping in a car all he has to do is snap his fingers and a taxi appears out of thin air.
In a similar situation when the hero has to take over a stranger's car to continue the chase he always manages to enter the car through an unlocked passenger door even when it is in one of the city's most dangerous neighbourhood.
In the 'Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea' TV series the submarine 'Seaview' was made operational by the famous 'Circuitry Room' where there were hundreds of cirucit boards up and down every wall. Frequently sea mosters, aliens, bad guys etc broke into the circuitry room and smashed up most of the circuits. Fear not, the engineers arrived, made a few minor adjustments with a screwdriver and within minutes the whole of the submarine was operational again.
When the hero/heroine urgently needs to make a telephone call to the police, FBI etc the only phone booth available is occupied by an old windbag who talks and talks and talks.
When the hero is escaping from the bad guys in a car chase, he always manages to cross the railway line just before a train appears, the bad guys are stuck on the other side as the train always has around 8000 cars. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 01, 2007 08:25 AM)
Whenever an Allied flyer/escaped POW is fleeing from the Germans in a WWII movie, he always finds refuge in a home where a beautiful girl lives.
The oldest Western cliche of them all: Just when it looks like the Indians are about to kill everyone, the US Cavalry comes in and rescues them in the nick of time.
When the hero needs to take somebody's car to chase a villain, he never runs into a woman who starts screaming or a man who punches him out. They just let him take their cars.
Among a group of people being knocked off in old movies in the 30s and 40s, there is always an attractive, single man and an attractive, single woman who always fall in love and usually are the only survivors.
In vigilante pictures when the cop suspects who the vigilante is, it never occurs to the cop to just put a tail on the guy 24/7 until they catch him.
Why does the womanizing hero obsess on the one girl who turns him down until he marries her? In real life, they just move on to the next girl.
A ruthless, super-ambitious young executive is sent to close down a factory in a small town and put everybody out of work. He is always charmed by the town, falls in love with a beautiful local girl, and saves the factory, even though it costs him a promising career.
Life-long housewives in their mid-30s who suddenly find themselves single mothers always find great jobs they do well in and fantastic lovers. Meanwhile, the life of the ex-husband who dumped them for a younger woman goes down the toilet.
The most pathetic and plain-looking high school nerd always manages to win a beautiful girl and show up the Big Man on Campus by the end of the movie.
In anti-war films, the conscientious objector medic never grabs a gun to defend himself despite the pleas of the wounded man he's treating. He believes the enemy soldier with a gun on them is a decent guy who won't shoot an unarmed man treating a wounded man. Of course he's always right - WRONG! -
AhaVanuR_24 — 18 years ago(September 01, 2007 11:37 AM)
Have either of you seen The Purple Rose Of Cairo by Woody Allen - it addresses many of the "points" you're bringing up. The plot centers on a movie character who breaks out of the screen into the real world. He needs to escape so he grabs the nearest car, slams the acceleration, andnothing. It turns out you need a key to start a car.
Believe me, you don't want Hannibal Lecter inside your head." -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 01, 2007 10:05 PM)
Yes, I have seen the movie and you're right. Frankly, it's always amazed me how when the character needs a car, there's always one right there with the doors unlocked, and often the keys in the ignition. Even if there's no key, they can "hot-wire" it in seconds. In real life, it's not so easy anymore unless you're a professional car thief. Here's another one: How it is Woody Allen's characters, who are ugly, neurotic, and nerdy, and not the multimillionaire director-actor-producer he is, are able to win the hearts of some of the most beautiful young women in the USA?
Now please excuse us - we're on a roll! -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 01, 2007 12:30 PM)
At a railroad station or a bus depot the clerk on the information desk always instantly knows the details of any train/bus travelling to anywhere in the USA. He NEVER has to look anything up.
When a new commanding officer (let's give him the name Colonel Davis) etc due to arrive at a top secret government centre is captured by enemy agents and replaced with one of their spies, the staff at the centre always accept that the man arriving there is Colonel Davis. They never cross check with anyone.
When the hero decides that he is deeply in love with a woman he has met ten seconds ago, how come that the woman in question is always single and available. She is never married, a lesbian, has family committments, is from Australia etc.
How come that when the hero's progress is impeded by a locked door he is always able to smash down the door, pick the lock, wrench open the lock etc within seconds.
Whenever the hero needs to call a government department, FBI, CIA, White House etc he always gets an immediate answer and remarkably has always reached the correct department as well.
Whenever a thief, con-man convinces the heroine that he is a government agent he always manages to take over an office in a government building for a half hour or so show he is genuine. Don't these people lock their office at lunch time or have security doors to pass through.
How come that in almost any John Ford movie there is always an Irish character who frequently reminds everyone about how fantastic it is to have been born Irish. Why is there never any Welsh, Scottish or English characters with similar sentiments.
Why do fist fights between two opponents in cowboy movies go on forever, when in reality they would long ago have had to stop due to broken bones.
Whenever a stagecoach is attacked by a tribe of Red Indians they are always concerned with attempting to shoot the passengers. Why don't they just shoot the horses so that the stagecoach will come to a halt. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 01, 2007 09:54 PM)
You have a point about quick love connections. On the old "Love Boat" show, everyone was from Los Angeles, when in reality people on cruises come from all over. How come there was never a case where he was from San Diego, California and she was from Portland, Oregon?
How is it the handsome thief the beautiful woman cop/fed is chasing is always charming, never violent, and she winds up falling in love with him and willing to throw her whole career away for him?
In Westerns made since the 1950s, why do the Native Americans all speak better English than the cowboys?
The hero gets knocked out from behind, but always revives a little later, perfectly fine. How come he never has to go to a hospital to be checked for a concussion?
Why are all Asians in movies and TV expert martial artists?
People wearing tight clothes pull out huge handguns that never made any tell-tale bulges.
People in TV and movies get over the grief of lovers dying or being murdered with amazing speed. On TV, they're over it by the next episode. In the movies, they're over it by the final scene.
People dying of terrible diseases look perfectly healthy up to the moment of death. Example: Allie McGraw in "Love Story."
If CSI: Miami is to be believed, everyone who lives there is under 45 and impossibly good-looking.
In Westerns, why is the hero's horse always faster than the villain's horse?
Why are people fooled by the tiny masks characters like Zorro wear? Anyone who knows them at all would recognize them immediately.
And why hasn't anyone noticed that Superman and Clark Kent are identical? If Lois Lane is so suspicious, why doesn't she compare fingerprints? The idiot doesn't even wear gloves. -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 02, 2007 10:18 AM)
When a special operations team is parachuted into Nazi Germany on a secret mission and the Germans capture one of the team they always use physical torture to extract information. Why do they never use psychological pressure or sodium pentathol.
At a German World War 2 prisoner of war camp why is every allied prisoner in the camp so keen to escape, particularly Air Force officers who have flown 15 bombing missions and if successful they would then have to fly another 15 missions over Germany.
In 'Where Eagles Dare' British Intelligence concocted an elaborate plan to parachute a special operations team including three known German spies into Germany on a mission in order to find out the name of their German controller in England. Why go to all this trouble, wouldn't it be easier to adminster the correct measure of sodium pentathol and just ask the spies for his name?
How do waiters at expensive restaurants always manage to find tables for people who claim they are VIP's when the restaurant is full.
The private detective Phillip Marlowe was whacked over the head with a wrench from behind at least twice on every case he became involved in. Why after four cases was he not confined to hospital with a brain haemorrage.
In the movie 'The Blackboard Jungle' all the teenage boys in school look around 30 plus, some even look older than the teachers.
When the (married) leading man is having an affair with the (married) leading lady they are careful to always meet in way out places. Why is it that they are never encountered by someone that knows one of them who just happens to stop off at a cafe there for lunch etc.
In movies that feature a hot-shot detective with a reputation for spending all his free time seducing as many women as possible why do the criminals never think of destroying his reputation by setting him up with a woman who will then file a charge that he has raped her.
In 'The Big Easy' Dennis Quaid's character is a police detective who is prosecuted for accepting bribes. His friends in the force then arrange for a powerful magnet to be placed next to the videotape containing the evidence against him. How convenient that the incriminating videotape was stored in such an easily accesable place. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 02, 2007 12:01 PM)
When a husband has an affair, it's usually because he's a bum. When a woman has an affair, it's always because her husband is no good, dull, or indifferent. Why is it the woman is never a bum?
In "Bridges of Madison County", we are expected to believe that a world-renowned photographer who has his pick of the most beautiful women in the world falls in love with a plain-looking farmer's wife with two kids and wants her to run off with him.
How come the Montecito Hotel-Casino in "Las Vegas" only has guests who are young, attractive, and fashionably dressed? Where are all the fat, middle-aged couples in ugly shorts from Iowa?
In college movies,lazy, drug-abusing slacker students all become millionaires, and the hard-working, ambitious students are all closet bigots who become losers and failures.
Crazy people in asylums are all wise and gentle souls tormented by a sadistic staff and an indifferent chief of staff. The patients always make it look like the people outside the the asylum are the dangerous nuts.
Crime labs all get instant, accurate results. In real life they can take weeks or months and the results are not always conclusive.
Why are all the Japanese officers in American WWII movies graduates of universities in California?
How do all these ordinary working class schlubs in the movies meet all these beautiful rich girls, let alone get them to marry them? In real life, rich girls go slumming with these guys and then marry guys with money like them. Rich guys are the same way with working class girls.
When the hero is shot point-blank in the chest, the bullet is always stopped by a coin or something else that would never stop a bullet in real life.
The maverick doctor is always right with his/her diagnosis no matter what the older, more experienced doctors say.
Beware if your car breaks down in a small town in the United States. The entire town will be involved in some kind of illegal conspiracy and you will be murdered to keep it secret. The only person with a conscience will be a young, beautiful, single woman who falls for the handsome hero who comes to investigate your "accidental" death. The handsome hero will outfight the entire town and expose everything with the help of the girl - the same girl who stood by and did nothing when you were murdered.
"Legally Blonde": A total ditz who makes Paris Hilton look like Madame Curie turns out to be a closet genius who gets into America's best law school and graduates with honors.
Dad wants the kid to go to business or law school but the kid wants to be a rock musician (or whatever). Naturally the kid succeeds and becomes a super-star. He/she never fails and humbled, admits the father was right and goes back to school.
Why does every evangelical minister or conservative politician turn out to be a hypocrite or a criminal? How come a liberal never does anything wrong?
My personal favorite. A bunch of good guys are outnumbered and surrounded by bad guys. One of the good guys panics and screams, "We're all gonna die!" The leader of the good guys punches him. He always says, "Thanks, I needed that." He never says, "We're all gonna die - and now my jaw hurts too!"
Personal Notes: Did you ever see "Purple Rose of Cairo" ? Also, tell me if I've repeated myself and I'll edit it. You realize of course, that at the rate we're going, we could probably co-write a successful novelty book that would make it on the Non-Fiction Best Sellers List. A former English professor of mine once told me there were only 20 basic plots and everything else was a variation or composite of them. Boy, she didn't know the half of it. -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 03, 2007 01:55 PM)
In 'North by Northwest' when the bellboy is paging Mr Kaplan, Cary Grant approaches him on another matter and the bad guys think 'That's Kaplan, let's get him'. But wouldn't the boy have continued to page Mr Kaplan after he had finished with Cary Grant.
Whenever a team of master criminals plan the perfect robbery, they execute it perfectly, everything goes to plan and they have got away with it and the police are clueless, why do they then spoil everything by fighting amongst themeselves.
In movies set on board sailing ships in the eighteenth/nineteenth century a sadistic captain always has almost every crew member flogged to within an inch of their life. Most of these men would take weeks to recover and some never would, so how are there still enough crew around to sail the ship.
In gunfights in westerns why do all the bad guys die instantly after they have been hit with a bullet, yet the heroes writhe about on the floor and get up again several times before they finally die.
How come that people who hire hit men to kill their wife/business partner /blackmailer etc always have a stash of instant cash available to pay the hit man, and the police never think of checking their bank account for large cash sum withdrawals.
In Western saloon bar fistfights most of the participants are smashed over the head by chairs, tables etc several times, get thrown through the air and crash along the top of the bar, get bottles smashed over their heads several times yet still manage to carry on fighting for another ten minutes or so.
In 'Good Morning Vietnam' the Robin Williams character is continually warned about his conduct yet carries on with outrageous behavior throughout the film. Fairly early on he is told not to play certain types of music, yet he carries on doing so and nobody pulls the plug to take him off the air.
In just about every John Ford Western there is an Irish character called Quincannon.
In every American film about the Irish rebellion, every Irish rebel is portrayed as doing what is right and necessary and every English Army officer is portrayed as a cartoon type sadistic bad guy.
Why is it always right wing nuts that attempt to overthrow the US Government for their softness on communism, and you always have a liberal President who resists the coup and says, 'I agree with you, I know these commies are bad guys, but we've got to live with them'.
Whenever some poor guy in a dead end job on low income suddenly decides he wants to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer etc he automatically becomes one without the need for qualifications, knowledge etc.
How come that Laurel and Hardy sometimes have wives, other times are single men, then have wives again without any continuity?
How come that idiotic characters like Jerry Lewis, Stan Laurel, Lou Costello etc never do one thing right?
''Personal Notes: Did you ever see "Purple Rose of Cairo" ?''
Strangely enough, no I haven't, it one of those films that I always miss for one reason or another, but I'll see it some day.
'Also, tell me if I've repeated myself and I'll edit it.'
We both probably have,
'When a husband has an affair, it's usually because he's a bum. When a woman has an affair, it's always because her husband is no good, dull, or indifferent. Why is it the woman is never a bum?'
I think you may have said that one before, but don't take my word for it.
In the meantime let's carry on for as long as we can. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 03, 2007 04:22 PM)
So be it. Look very carefully at my last entry:
Tired of the heroine's games, the hero picks up the heroine, carries her to the bed, throws her on it, jumps on top of her, and kisses her passionately. She resists at first, but slowly gives in and starts getting as passionate as him. In the morning, she's smiling and humming. How come she never charges him with rape?
Why do people freely tell private detectives things they never told the police?
Why are Italian military officers in American WWII films never cruel and sadistic like so many Germans and Japanese?
Sixty-two years after WWII ended, why are neo-Nazis are still the biggest terrorist threat in movies?
Why is it, no matter how long the hero's fight with the bad guys, the cops always arrive after it's over? Who called them is rarely explained.
When a team of soldiers/spies/cops/detectives have a mission, one of them always has the needed skill or tool, no matter how rare or oddball.
In "Mission Impossible," how is it the bad guy being impersonated is always the same height and buld as Martin Landau/Leonard Nemoy/Thao Penghliss?
In modern-day war films, why is it the military super-technology always works without a hitch?
Why is it when the heroine is chased by the villain she makes it to her car, but it won't start until he almost grabs her? It was working fine before.
Why does a working class American girl in Europe always grabs a rich European guy but a rich European girl always gets a working class American guy?
Hercule Poirot is called in to solve a series of murders. Considering his reputation, why doesn't the murderer kill him and not take any chances?
In "Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman," the minorities were always right and the whites were always wrong.
Why doesn't the nice Catholic school girl ever run fast and far when she finds out the punk she's attracted to has a police record?
In the recent TV film, "The Murder of Princess Diana," a French police detective is beaten half to death. He drags himself to his apartment instead of to the nearest ER, and 30 seconds after getting there is having hot sex with his American girlfriend.
Why are so many master criminals in American movies British?
Whenever the hero cop/PI is called in, an accident is never an accident, and a suicide is never a suicide. It's always murder and he always catches the killer.
Why does the private eye find out his client is the murderer so often? Why do the idiots hire him in the first place?
A likable if somewhat naive hero looks into the death of an old friend. The old friend turns out to be alive, and also a criminal and a murderer as well. The likable hero winds up having to kill his old friend. Wait a minute!! That's the plot to "The Third Man!!" -
Altho73 — 18 years ago(September 04, 2007 01:09 PM)
When an idealistic new teacher straight out of college arrives at a tough, inner city school he/she always has big ideas about how he/she is going to bring hope to these kids,change the way they think and make them into model citizens.
The new teacher is rejected, made fun of, assaulted etc several times but never gives up and just before the end of the movie does something relatively minor and the tough kids suddenly decide, 'hey this guy/gal has got something, let's give up crime and be nice guys'.
An innocent man who is jailed and locked up for years in a hell hole prison always looks in remarkably good health when his innocence is finally proven and he is released.
In musicals of the forties and fifties the small town boy is going to marry the girl next door, but something always happens that causes him to lose her, but she always comes back to him just before the end of the movie.
When hostile aliens land on earth intent on taking over, why are the scientists always the clever ones and the military top brass always the gung ho, trigger happy buffoons.
In movies like 'When Worlds Collide' that promise global catastrophe within months how come that the scientists making these predictions are always right. (In reality they can't even decide whether eating certain foods are good or bad for you)
In a murder thriller that occurs in a big city it always becomes a necessity for the investigating detective to visit a strip club.
In all movies set in Ireland (particulary if directed by John Ford) why are all the men in Ireland depicted as jolly, laughing, singing etc who spend all of their spare time in a bar.
Why in so many John Ford movies do the leading men only become close friends after they have fought each other in a mammoth fist fight.
In disaster movies why do the earthquakes, volcanoes, fires, hurricanes etc always take the lives of the most despicable characters while the paragons of virtue always survive.
When a good looking stranger fancies a married housewife how come that time after time he manages to bed her in her bedroom. What exactly is the husband doing every time this happens.
In Vietnam movies why do all the recruits drafted into the army/marines turn up at boot camp looking like hippies. -
pmiano100 — 18 years ago(September 04, 2007 01:54 PM)
In disaster films, how come every little boy has a dog, and the kid and the dog never die?
Why are hippies always portrayed sympathetically instead of being shown as the lazy, cowardly, stoners so many of them were?
Why are there no other foreigners besides Irishmen in the US Cavalry in a John Ford Western? Where are the Germans, Scots, Poles, Germans, Mexicans, Swedes, and others?
Do people who fall in love during disasters and hostage situations really stay together and get married after it's all over?
Why is the Italian-American guy in a WWII film always a gambler and a black marketeer? Why is he always the one guy in the squad who doesn't want to attack the isolated farmhouse?
In modern-day films about 1930s gangsters, why do the Irish always beat the Italians in gang wars when they actually lost in real life?
In a typical 40s Mickey Rooney film, the answer to everything is, "Hey, kids -Let's put on a show!" How one small town can be filled with so many kids who can perform as professional-level singers, dancers, and musicians is beyond me.
If James Bond is such a terrible threat and dangerous foe, why don't they simply use a sniper with a high-powered rifle equipped with a telescopic sight? Surely SPECTRE or Smersh must have someone good enough to take the shot.
Also, what kind of secret agent is known to every villain he fights? The ones in movies and on TV, that's what kind.
The hero is full of rage and wants to kill the helpless villain he has overpowered. "Stop!" says the buddy or love interest. Then they say,"He's not worth it!" or "You'll be no better than him." The hero always stops. He never says, "Yes he is (worth it)", or "I could kill 100 like him and not be as bad as him," and then kills the villain.
How come the Health Department never condemns the Addams Family home?