The two best lines

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slicksterzz — 15 years ago(February 28, 2011 10:08 PM)

"First, the spankings! Then the oral sex!"

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Mick1994 — 15 years ago(March 12, 2011 06:45 PM)

Eric Idle: "If she weighs the same as a duck shes made of wood."
Bedivere: "And is therefore."
Eric Idle: "A WITCH."
Three headed Knight head #1 "I do not snore anyway you have bad breath."
Three headed Knight head #2 "Thats only because you don't brush my teeth."

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Punctuality — 15 years ago(March 14, 2011 07:13 AM)

I'm not quite dead, sir!
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior.

Spare me your space-age technobabble, Attila the Hun!

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J_Manning_The_Revived — 15 years ago(March 29, 2011 12:15 PM)

"Camalot!"
"Camalot!"
"Camalot!"
" it's only a model."
"Shhhhhh!"
"What else would I be doing?"

• Paul Kersey, Death Wish 2

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ChartNumberThree — 15 years ago(March 29, 2011 08:51 PM)

Dennis: "I mean, if I went round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!"
and
Sir Bedevere: "and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped."
and for a bonus this one is perfectly delivered
Guard (Eric Idle): "Ah, Now you're not allowed to enter the room, AHHHHHH"

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Jackoffasaur — 15 years ago(March 30, 2011 07:29 PM)

1. Message for you sir.
2. Now you see the violence inherent in the system

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durham100 — 14 years ago(July 10, 2011 02:10 PM)

Let's not go to Camelot, tis a silly place.
And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped.

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SasquatchJim — 14 years ago(July 12, 2011 07:35 AM)

IMO, there is no possible way to determine the two "best" lines of this movie; there are just way too many awesome ones.
However, the ones I reference most are:
"JAAAAAAYSUS CROIIIIST!"
"I got better."
Let a little insanity into your life.

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samaels_venom — 14 years ago(October 20, 2011 02:37 PM)

"JAAAAAAYSUS CROIIIIST!" haha, yes indeed. I'm watching the Tim The Enchanter scene on IFC right now and thought the same thing.

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Phazzle — 14 years ago(July 15, 2011 01:35 PM)

For me it's ..

1. Guard at the front gate after Lancelot stabs the other guard and barges into swamp castle
   "Hey?"
2. "The knights who say Ni demand! another shrubbery!"

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p_imdb-156 — 14 years ago(October 16, 2011 08:46 AM)

A very subtle line..
French Guard #1: Oui oui.
French Guard #2: What?
French Guard #1: Yes
French Guard #2: Oh.

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gallagwar — 14 years ago(October 27, 2011 08:37 AM)

"This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who."
"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony. If I went round saying I was an emperor because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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TheGoodMan19 — 14 years ago(October 29, 2011 12:19 PM)

No one said
Ohhhhhh, sh!t!
I was so scared I almost soiled my armor.
Arthur's JAYSUS CHRIST and his calling Tim names (You silly sod) are great.
Aw, Gilligan screwed it up. Why don't they just kill him?

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IMDb User

This message has been deleted.

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LurkingFigure — 14 years ago(December 09, 2011 03:11 PM)

i will fart in your general direction
LOLOLOLOL
__
Do everything in
Love.
I Corinthians 16:14 NIV

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Zorlach — 14 years ago(December 12, 2011 03:29 PM)

"One day, lad, this will all be yours!"
"What? The curtains?"
"Fetchez la vache!"
"Quoi?"
"Fetchez la vaaache."

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oldsalt61 — 14 years ago(December 15, 2011 07:30 PM)

"Bring out your dead!"
"You must bring us a shrubbery!"
Agreed that there are dozens of quotable one liners from this movie It's too hard to just pick two.

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LaidBack101 — 14 years ago(December 16, 2011 08:29 AM)

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
"Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies."

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blackburnlankashire — 14 years ago(December 20, 2011 01:26 PM)

Pretty much everything Herbert says. XD
"One day, lad, all this will be yours."
"What, the curtains?"
"But mother"
"No, I'm father, son."
"Listen, Alice"
"Herbert!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm your son!"

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mattavnlk — 14 years ago(December 24, 2011 12:26 AM)

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
It's just a flesh wound.
I love every quote from this movie. To me, it is the best quoteable movie of all time. My next 2 are Ghostbusters and The Last Boy Scout.