You ever make it with a waitress? A big fat waitress. I don't know what those society dames are like in the sack but you

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caladon — 12 years ago(August 20, 2013 11:59 AM)

I like this bit of dialog (probably not verbatim):
After the clock has struck 12, there's a knock at the door.
Dora Charleston: It's probably the maid. Come in.
Dick Charleston: Darling, the poor woman is stone deaf.
Dora Charleston: Sorry, I forgot. (yelling) COME IN!
I love Dick Charleston's reaction to her yelling.
Other quotes:
Willie Wang: Who do you think the killer is, Pop?
Sidney Wang: Must sleep on it; will know in morning.
Willie Wang: What if you don't wake up?
Sidney Wang: Then you did it. Go sleep please.
Willie Wang: I don't hear nothin'. What do you hear?
Sidney Wang: Double negative and dog.
Twain: That drives me crazy.
Diamond: Sounds like a short ride to me.
I like that line because it's similar to what I've always told people when they use that phrase. Usually when someone says something is driving them crazy, I'll respond with "That's walking distance."
Dick Charleston: A blind butler.
Dora Charleston: Don't let him park the car, Dickie.
Sidney Wang hears a dog barking:
Bensonmum: That's only the cat.
Sidney Wang: That cat? You feed cat dog food?
Bensonmum: Mr. Twain had him fixed and he didn't wanted to be.
Sidney Wang inspecting the dead butler.
Sidney Wang: No pulse, no heatbeat. If condition does not change, this man, he dead.
Save the whales; collect the whole set.

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parisrikk — 11 years ago(October 13, 2014 07:17 PM)

I just read through this entire thread and was amazed that no one mentioned Dora telling the maid to come in before you did.

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johnd70978 — 11 years ago(May 26, 2014 10:16 AM)

Next time someone calls you on the phone, try answering by saying HELLO. The results will be hilarious. Think of the look on the face of the caller who hears you respond with HELLO. I'm totally guffawing now just imagining it. OMG, I think I wet myself.

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parisrikk — 11 years ago(October 13, 2014 07:14 PM)

this I use.often
How do I look so young? Twelve hours sleep a night, a complete vegetable diet, and lots and
lots
of make-up.

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jccole283 — 11 years ago(January 09, 2015 06:21 PM)

"I'm not a Frenchy. I'm a Belgie."

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chriscougar7 — 11 years ago(January 23, 2015 02:30 PM)

I love all these quotes and use a bunch of them but after 7 pages no one said one my favorites, "As you can seeI can see". IMO that one can be used easily when pointing out sarcastically that you arent blind

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DBloodnok — 11 years ago(January 24, 2015 10:09 AM)

If I am ever caught in possession of some sort of lurid pornographic material, and on being asked why I had said material, saying this in my defence:
Suspects.always looking for suspects.
"Someone has been tampering with Hank's memories."

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slightlyodd999 — 10 years ago(July 05, 2015 11:58 AM)

as someone who looks very young for their age.
How do I look so young? Its perfectly simple, complete vegetable diet, 12 hours sleep a night, and lots and lots of makeup

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Rogue_4 — 10 years ago(July 18, 2015 12:20 AM)

Ello,ello! I am saying ello, ello!

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violetta1485 — 10 years ago(July 19, 2015 08:32 AM)

The look on Maggie Smith's face when her husband explains why some people might want a naked corpse, followed bywith amused disgust"How TACKY."

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clocksnmirrors-932-761321 — 10 years ago(September 17, 2015 06:32 PM)

"That's tacky. That's
REALLY
tacky"