Eduardo's best friend
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Hidden Pleasures
ranc1 — 10 months ago(May 31, 2025 02:47 PM)
Eduardo's best friend represents the logic, the rational person. But this movie is showing perfectly how being healthy in unhealthy ambient is toxic.
Eduardo's best friend is logical, he is rational, he makes rational decisions - yet he is absolutely boring and unattractive. His words of logic come out as being condescending and controlling, preachy - in a cafe scene - telling Eduardo that to be individual is wrong, and that he needs to go to community meetings - which Eduardo dislikes.
Eduardo's path - just like Eduardo's best friend - is uncharted. They were pioneers in coming out in Franco post fascist Spain. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Being open about being different - may be detrimental if new fascist government came after Franco. Luckily it didn't. But from the time perspective - no one knew what would happen 5 or 10 years from 1977.
The same problem is with CBT and social anxiety.
CBT tries to convince socially anxious that social anxiety is shyness and it should be beaten up with exposure and mentality change. One thing the problem is - that exposure and being saint in toxic ambient is path to hell.
It is shame because Eduardo kept the picture of his best friend at his desk - showing how much he valued his friendship - but his best friend in his quest to being angel and rational and logical - completely ignored the care and true honest support for his friend. This is why Sam Vaknin says that homosexuality is narcissism and there are a lot of overlapping traits of narcissistic personality disorder and homosexuality - being in love with own image - and have no true empathy for anything diverged from this fantasy snapshot of reality.
Support without pontification and holding a higher ground than Eduardo.
Eduardo's best friend could say all the logical and rational and healthy viewpoints - but being a truly good person - he could also add to the end - that he will support Eduardo no matter what he is choosing to do with his own life. Eduardo's best friend failed to deliver those supportive words and hence frozen his status of friendship which might have potential to turn into a romantic one - if he only showed his support.
We live in toxic masculinity world, Prussian education - where beehive mentality is prioritized over the individual. Being logical and rational and saint and angel in such toxic system - is being dull, pontification moralizing jerk.
Eduardo best friend not only is pontificator but in his quest to be rational and logical in patriarchy system - became the exact thing he is fighting against - the way he is dressing like Polish refugee shows he is masking and fake pretending and actually hates himself secretly. By trying to appear heterosexual he is blocking his true masculine colors, his sex-appeal and a chance to have deep passionate relationship(s) which Eduardo had with his sex cruising escapades.