100 things I learned from Quest for Fire

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Professor_Anthrax — 15 years ago(March 07, 2011 04:56 PM)

9. The less hairy you are, the more likely you are to have a sense of humor.
10. Women washing up in the river are fair game.
11. You can sleep in a tree for as long as you like if you do not devour the leaves.
    Never trust a woman or a government - Captain Yellowbeard

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SevernSarge — 9 years ago(January 26, 2017 08:27 AM)

8. Don't bring a rock to an atlatl fight.
   5 years too late, but I must salute you. You won IMDB that day. Cheers!

---

What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?

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xenophile2002 — 9 years ago(January 27, 2017 08:37 PM)

Thanks man. Glad you liked it. Seems a few people did and I didn't notice because I had some heavy stuff going on around that time. So five years too late turns out to be the perfect time for me.
I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler.

• Jon Stewart

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jimclark54 — 15 years ago(March 12, 2011 11:09 AM)

3a) Thin cave women who spend all their time at large don't get fat.

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GJValent — 12 years ago(February 10, 2014 09:01 PM)

3b) Thin cave women who spend their time at large, get pregnant. Oh, wait, so do fat cave women who hang around the tribe. Never mind.

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Woodyanders — 15 years ago(March 14, 2011 05:31 PM)

12. Mud-smeared cave girls from more advanced tribes not only prefer, but also get more enjoyment from missionary sex over backdoor bandit antics.
    I'm a totally bitchin' bio writer from Mars!

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crinkster — 13 years ago(December 01, 2012 10:26 PM)

beep ya

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Martin_Sloan — 14 years ago(September 29, 2011 07:53 AM)

13. Anal sex was very popular 80,000 years ago
14. Never give fire to the idiots in your tribe
    Martin Scorsese
    IS
    the best

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tmack64-552-110411 — 14 years ago(October 20, 2011 09:13 PM)

15. Human flesh doesn't taste too bad until you see the owner's skull
16. Bring your own woman on a journey
17. Prehistoric hands were too rough for masturbating
18. Practice your big fire presentation first before showing your skills to the entire tribe

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mgordonb — 14 years ago(March 04, 2012 02:53 PM)

19. Never ask a cannibalistic tribe member "Can I give you a hand"?

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arendeng2000 — 14 years ago(March 10, 2012 07:54 AM)

20. Never refuse first aid from a stranger.
21. Even cavemen had ADHD.
22. Only the French can make a porno that becomes an instant classic of anthropological history.

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pinbackwiggly — 13 years ago(May 17, 2012 06:01 PM)

23. If you're going to bite a guy's nuts, make sure he does not have a 30 pound rock within arms reach.

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docd1 — 13 years ago(June 24, 2012 11:43 PM)

24. You never know when the only tree for miles around on the Serengeti will come in handy.
25. On such an important mission, send only 3. The rest of us will wait right here and freeze our collective asses off waiting for you to get back. "Hurry back".
26. Just because you can lay out the biggest cannibal, doesn't mean you've automatically earned the respect of the others.
27. It's not enough to steal fire from your neighbors. Make sure you douse their fire too.
28. Watch where you step. If you're not careful you could end up with a spear in the mouth.
29. Eating human flesh builds bigger bodies.
30. Even after you've been "cannibalized 'down there'", it's nice to know one can still enjoy a nice bj from a friend.

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flooxer — 13 years ago(March 09, 2013 05:13 PM)

20.) Concussions are always hilarious.

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I_Guard_Tanelorn — 13 years ago(August 24, 2012 06:30 PM)

31. Raping a girl is a sure fire way to win her heart.
32. Screwing 5 fat girls in a row will turn a skinny girl traitor with jealousy.
33. 3 Stooges humor was always in style.
34. The French even put mimes into historical caveman movies.
    "I said no camels, that's five camels, can't you count?"

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beavertoof — 13 years ago(September 05, 2012 06:40 AM)

I have no more to add but to a big LOL to this!:
Don't bring a rock to an atlatl fight.

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ta2me92704 — 13 years ago(September 28, 2012 08:57 PM)

35. Wagaboos can be cranky.
    My ignore list is much too long for a sig line.

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Tyler-A-Arse — 13 years ago(November 28, 2012 05:46 PM)

36. Women talk alot, and they started it 80,000 years ago.

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MineToTorment — 13 years ago(December 22, 2012 03:18 PM)

37. Green bodypaint was a helluva lot more durable in pre-historic times than anything that's made now-a-days.
    You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

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choatelodge — 13 years ago(January 01, 2013 02:50 PM)

38. It's not safe to do laundry standing and bent at the hips.
39. Wagabu keep climbing, smashed and amputated fingers regardless.