is it ok for a woman to cheat?
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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Terms of Endearment
ghghghgt — 10 years ago(July 02, 2015 05:35 PM)
seeing how Aurora and Emma were in relationships and they cheated on their guys and seeing how women are regarding this as the ultimate "chick" flick, am I supposed to take that it is ok for a woman to cheat but not a man?
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fiatlux-1 — 10 years ago(July 07, 2015 09:08 PM)
No, I didn't feel the film was saying this at all.
We see Flip cheat repeatedly, and I felt that Emma felt justified in doing the same.
I don't recall Aurora cheating, but she basically made up her own morals as she went along. She didn't care much what was right or wrong.
I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus.
Didn't he discover America?
Penfold, shush. -
MuchToBeGratefulFor — 10 years ago(July 12, 2015 09:08 AM)
First of all, Aurora never cheated in this movie. I have no idea where you get that.
Second of all, yes Emma did cheat. But since this movie is supposedly directed at women (your comment, calling it a chick flick) you think you are "supposed to take that it's OK for a woman to cheat but not a man"? Huh?
Many people, including you, seem to think that if someone does something in a movie and doesn't get caught, or punished, or at least told off, that the movie is condoning the behavior. No, the movie is simply showing what happened. Flap got caught and got hell for it, Emma didn't get caught. That's the way it goes. And, Flap got hell not just for cheating, but for moving his family on a week's notice against Emma's wishes, and later she finds out it was so he could continue to see his mistress.
You must be the change you seek in the world. Gandhi -
LukeLovesFilm28 — 10 years ago(February 21, 2016 04:25 PM)
No. The movie is basically geared for women, because it never says, "Father knows best." We have the most lame excuse for a leading man in Flap or the creepiest excuse in Nicholson. The movie is saying women know best. Hell, Aurora lays it on thick in the cafeteria, telling Flap how he will never make a good father. This movie makes it all the more clear that modern women only think of men as tools, to hurt them or make them feel good. To be disappointing to them or entertain them.
Tommy clearly adores his father, despite how much time Flap has to put in at work. BUT, because women refuse to allow men to be human, feel vulnerable, make mistakes, Tommy can't be with the one parent he loves most. -
MuchToBeGratefulFor — 9 years ago(April 09, 2016 11:24 AM)
Tommy won't be with his father because FLAP agreed that he would screw it up if he tried to raise the children. He and Emma agreed together.
And actually, in the movie Aurora DOES say, in effect, "Father knows best." It is in the conversation where they are leaving the hospital after Emma has said goodbye to them. She tells Tommy that his father is a very smart man and if he needs to, to go to his father and say, "Dad, I need to talk." You just have a filter on when it comes to this movie.
You must be the change you seek in the world. Gandhi -
fairy_depp — 9 years ago(May 23, 2016 04:59 AM)
I absolutely disagree with that.. Yes, the men were a mess but so were the women - I think the main woman felt that she had never really done much with her life besides be a mother and a wife and she was struggling to bring up 3 kids, Aurora felt old and past it and surrounded herself with adoring men to try and make herself feel better. I personally feel the film is more about everyone being confused about what they're supposed to be doing.. Everyone is just getting on with their lives and doing the best they can.
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renata77 — 9 years ago(July 04, 2016 02:25 AM)
There is really no reason to believe Emma thinks what she's done with her life is useless. Rewatch the scene in which she is discussing Patsy's NY friends, and the luncheon itself. When lobe oh the women asks her when she is going back to work, she proudly tells them she has been raising her family and hasn't worked. They look at her as though she's come from another planet, and she gives them the same look in return. Later, she expresses to Patsy how incredulous she is about their lifestyles. "Two told me about it heir abortions, three of them said they are divorcedif that's fit conversation over lunch, what's so awful about this talking about my illness?" Her tone said everything about how she felt about their lack of commitment to family.
Which brings me to another reason Flap's infidelities seem to be less condemned than Emma's. Flap always seemed half out of the marriage and definitely out of tune with the kids, so one always felt his behavior was going to break up the family or at least put the kids last. With Emma, one always knows her commitment to the kids is foremost. I think part of the reason she chose the married man was that she had no intention of breaking up her family in her search for some emotional validation.
That, of course, doesn't excuse het behavior, however. -
Pmdmnym — 9 years ago(April 20, 2016 09:18 PM)
Yes, Flap was cheating for a while with that student and he followed her to Nebraska. and nobody should ever cheat but if I were Emma, I would have done the same thing she did! Flap was a dick.
Wait! Wait! Where are you going? I was gonna make Espresso!