I felt so bad for Tommy… Please give me your thoughts
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Waldimore — 12 years ago(April 22, 2013 10:36 AM)
I feel the same way. That scene demonstrates the realities and problems of parenting today and how children are neglected because today's parents feel that claiming "their space," is more important.
Emma wasn't a bad person. She was sweet and uncomplicated. But she also was the victim of poor parenting and so she was one herself. People want children, need to answer the call of procreation, but no one wants to truly sacrifice for their kids.
This is the root of a lot of abuse children suffer today. -
lunayoshi — 12 years ago(January 08, 2014 09:49 PM)
I wholeheartedly agree with this post. I know firsthand how not sacrificing for the good of your kids can affect them.
My stepsister immaturely had a kid when she was 19. She had barely finished high school, socialized with the worst kinds of people, and was just too emotionally immature to care for this kid. She kept him anyway. It got to the point where she'd get high or drunk so often, my step-nephew was practically starved for attention and would act out in the most god-awful ways because it was the only way she'd pay attention to him, mostly if he disobeyed her.
My family had to take him away from her twiceonce when he was 2 and another when he was 7because she simply wasn't taking care of him at all. For some reason I can't fathom due to how she treated the kid, she fought with my stepfather for custody and won both times. While we had him, he was such a handful, even my stepfather didn't want to deal with him and his outbursts despite being the one who insisted we keep him, and the responsibilities fell on the shoulders of me and my mom. Eventually my mom said it either the kid leaves or both my stepdad and the kid leave. Then my stepsister won the custody battles and away they went to go on being dysfunctional.
The whole thing wound up ruining my mom and stepdad's relationship and turned me off to children entirely.
Sorry for the mini-biography, but it's just a shining example of how important it is to actually TAKE CARE of your kids. I think Emma got better at it as she got older, but yeah, I feel bad for Tommy.
You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I cant spend the rest of mine with you. -
MuchToBeGratefulFor — 12 years ago(January 11, 2014 03:42 PM)
There is a HUGE difference between parents taking some time for themselves, as Flap and Emma did in this scene, versus being a neglectful and drug-abusing parent as your step-sister is/was.
You must be the change you seek in the world. Gandhi -
sonofbeach-sheet — 12 years ago(January 11, 2014 07:35 PM)
I always wondered why Tommy was so negative and pessimistic, especially in the sequel, yet Teddy was raised by the same sorry parents and he was a loving and tender kid! Guess it was because Tommy had put up with a lot of crap a few years longer!
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fiatlux-1 — 12 years ago(February 15, 2014 08:57 PM)
I always wondered that about Tommy too. I know Emma (and certainly that jackass Flap) were not perfect parents, but he still was a little punk to everyone.
The trouble with kids (including myself back then) is that they don't 'see' their parents as human beings that have serious flaws or are learning to be parents still or have bad moods or just make mistakes.
They see Good or Bad. Available or Not. Smart or Stupid.
Tommy was one of these kids. He needed to realize his mom was flawed like everyone, and learn that she did love him & it was OK to love his mom back.
"I'd say this cloud is Cumulo Nimbus."
"Didn't he discover America?"
"Penfold, shush." -
LukeLovesFilm28 — 10 years ago(February 21, 2016 03:28 PM)
You do realize that parents are gods to their children, right? They can't be human or flawed or else, the kid feels lost. It's the parents job to be the adult and put themselves second for the welfare of their child, including the child's happiness.
Let's not forget that Aurora wanted Tommy to call her by her married name for crying out loud. Not "Grandma" like a normal person. -
renata77 — 11 years ago(September 20, 2014 05:17 AM)
I so agree! There's like one scene where he is (horrors!) left to himself while his parents go upstairs.
I think Flap was a particularly bad parent, but Emma is very real and loving with her children. I don't think overall that she was a bad parent. How many parents would be able to have that discussion she had with them about her dying? Especially the part where she tells Tommy that it's ok that he doesn't tell her he loves her and "pretends" he hates her, and that he should never feel guilty about that?
However, Tommy was sour and petulant ever since the second actor started playing him. You can see this is due in part to his parents' deteriorating relationship, but he is just insufferable about any minor inconvenience. He gives his parents disgusted glances at every turn. I really couldn't stand him. Someone on another thread noted that it seemed Tommy was just withdrawing in preparation for Emma's death, but in reality that is his modus operandi ever since he turns about 8 or 9.
The actor did a terrific job and I have to say that he made me dislike Tommy extremely - perhaps even more than I disliked Flap. Flap at least had his moments where he was tender from time to time, whereas Tommy just seemed to be a ball of hatred and contempt towards both his parents. -
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LukeLovesFilm28 — 10 years ago(February 21, 2016 03:44 PM)
And I like how you absolve her of her wrongdoings and put all the blame on the man. He's the one forced to work and get enough money to support that family. You ladies never think about the man's perspective. You never think of men as human beings, who have all the emotional capacity you do. All men and even children are to you are tools, to hurt you or make you feel better.
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LukeLovesFilm28 — 10 years ago(February 21, 2016 03:38 PM)
You're probably one of those wonderful "adult" parents that treat their kids like dogs / property. If the kid isn't being a perfect example of how a child should act, you hit them until their disobedience is corrected. Am I wrong? You couldn't possibly treat the child like a growing, adolescent human being. A human being who is capable of so much more than the fcking obedient dog that you want them to turn into.
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daughterofolaf — 11 years ago(November 03, 2014 08:15 PM)
This is one of the most ridiculous and immature posts I have ever read. It makes me wonder what movie the OP was watching. I assume you must be really young to have such a silly and inexplicably off-base view. The mother was childish when "she had him and ignored him"? WTF are you even talking about?
It wasn't me who was murdered, was it? -
winepooh96 — 10 years ago(February 07, 2016 10:23 PM)
I'm surprised so many posts here are saying that Tommy was nasty to his mother because she neglected him. The way I saw it he was angry towards her because he blamed her for Flap being uninterested in being a father. He wasn't in cub scouts because Emma probably couldn't afford to put him in it. Instead of blaming his dad, he put it all on Emma.
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OldFriendOfTheChristys — 9 years ago(May 09, 2016 12:56 PM)
The older I get and Im not even a parent - the more I appreciate the scene in which Emma explains to Tommy he never has to feel bad about having never told her he loves her because she already knows. He
is
going to realize it someday, like Emma said, and hes going to feel terrible, but hopefully he remembers his mothers words and quickly puts it out of his mind.
Its one of the most expertly written scenes of dialogue Ive ever witnessed.
Really, just thinking about it makes me emotional.