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1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

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    namaGemo — 12 years ago(March 24, 2014 07:22 AM)

    When you realize that the only thing between America standing or falling is a strong guerrilla presence, it's best when confronted by a Russian Hind, to stand out in the open so you are easily killed in some bizarre display of heroism, effectively weakening your unit.

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        crockett_john — 11 years ago(July 05, 2014 02:43 PM)

        1. Land is so scarce in Colorado that the Russians have to co-locate all their military assets, making them easy targets.
        2. A Russian jet pilot who watches someone drop a grenade in the cockpit will sit still and wait for the grenade to explode.
        3. Russian soldiers who know there is an insurgent force attacking them in small numbers will not be suspicious when they see people acting suspiciously.
        4. Russian wholesale grocers like to pack a variety of groceries in the same box.
        5. If you shoot twice, they'll know where you are, but campfires, vehicles, and horses will evade detection.
        6. When you're loading up on survival supplies, make sure you bring a football, but no more than one radio.
        7. The Boy Scouts is a paramilitary organization.
        8. Urine makes a good engine coolant.
        9. If your high-school is attacked, your brother who just dropped you off will somehow know there was an attack and will come back and get you.
        10. Russian paratroopers put their weapons in a barrel and jump unarmed into enemy territory.
        11. After an invasion, the street sweepers will no longer be operating and the streets will fill up with debris.
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          Ramdapanda — 11 years ago(October 01, 2014 02:53 PM)

          1. Friendly jets will carpet bomb empty spaces in the middle of no where several miles behind enemy lines.
          2. A single friendly tank will infiltrate occupied territory, and fire upon two enemy tanks for several minutes without any of them actually hitting anything.
          3. Tanks will rotate their turrets as often as possible especially when there's nothing to aim at.
          4. High-shool rebels will take the time to dig perfectly square holes and create covers to match instead of hiding in bushes 50 meters further away.
          5. Invading armies hand out detailed information about their armored convoys to anyone interested.
          6. If one of you're friends get captured and in turn tortured and forced to swallow a tracking device, your only option is to kill him.
          7. If you are said friend from point 33, you will by no means notify anyone that you were forced to swallow a tracking device.
          8. The rule 'what goes in must come out' doesn't apply for tracking devices.
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            MadTom — 11 years ago(October 05, 2014 01:29 PM)

            1. A single friendly tank will infiltrate occupied territory, and fire upon two enemy tanks for several minutes without any of them actually hitting anything.
              Let's put you in the gunner's seat of one of the tanks at that range with the enemy tank in a hull-down defilade position and see how well you do.
            2. Tanks will rotate their turrets as often as possible especially when there's nothing to aim at.
              Depending on the tactical situation, that can be well within US Army Armor doctrine, allowing the gunner with telescopic and thermal (infrared) sights to detect threats that the tank commander might not detect with the naked eye or less powerful binoculars.
              MadTom
              Major, Armor, US Army (Retired)
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              Ramdapanda — 11 years ago(October 05, 2014 11:41 PM)

              Let's put you in the gunner's seat of one of the tanks at that range with the enemy tank in a hull-down defilade position and see how well you do.
              Fair point, let's just focus on a tank being alone behind enemy lines.
              Depending on the tactical situation, that can be well within US Army Armor doctrine, allowing the gunner with telescopic and thermal (infrared) sights to detect threats that the tank commander might not detect with the naked eye or less powerful binoculars.
              Also a fair point, although I'm pretty sure driving around down town in a secure area doesn't qualify for this.

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                chilone — 11 years ago(January 12, 2015 11:53 AM)

                Tom, you must be new. These threads are made for comedy relief. Or, in the immortal words of Sargent Hulka: "Lighten up, Francis!!"
                I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!

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                  ohiopdg — 11 years ago(January 21, 2015 10:23 PM)

                  1. When a father tells his sons not to come back to town just make sure he yells out at the end to " Avenge Me!" thus putting their sons back in harms way
                  2. when stocking up at the local gun store after an attack make sure you grab every bit of ammo you can get not knowing it is compatible with the firearms you are taking
                  3. before number 37 be sure and grab a box of arrows
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                    davcalla777 — 10 years ago(April 26, 2015 05:21 PM)

                    1. When your a high school history teacher, ignore every bit of common sense, and walk straight up to a foreign speaking soldier who is armed who just parachuted in, he wont shoot you
                    2. Jed doesn't know when to believe your mouth.
                    3. When invading the USA, dropping troops into Calumet CO. is the best drop zone
                    4. High school kids use toilet paper, not leaves
                    5. Peeing in the radiator will suffice
                    6. When your high school is invaded, big brother Jed willbbe there in mere seconds
                    7. A lone white girl walking out of a building didn't plant a bomb, but, she will bring her friends right back
                    8. Soviet tanks take gasoline
                    9. Calumet is deep fortunate to have a Shepard like the mayor
                    10. Picking up headphones in the mountains screaming for God to help u will bring reinforcements
                    11. Indians made arrows from steel
                    12. Swallowing a bug will bring the troops to u, and no danger of indigestion
                    13. Sending Daryl into town under Soviet occupation to visit Dad is no cause for alarm maybe he was bugged or he didn't talk
                    14. Jed never heard of the Geneva convention
                    15. Wolverines can hide in the mountains until they don't hear jet engines no more
                    16. The chair is against the wall
                    17. John has a long moustache
                    18. U don't slaughter the pig if he saw the fox eat your chickens
                    19. Colonel Bella and his man learned English instantly
                    20. Jed doesn't like it when people cry
                    21. When u see Soviet tanks and troops blocking the road, and they start shooting, merely driving off the road just a little bit will make them forget u, let alone come after u
                    22. When the enemy drops food boxes on the road, no danger exists of them being bugged or sending gunships after u
                    23. Killing 1 wolverine counts as 12 dead
                    24. Hate and anger keeps Robert warm
                    25. The early bird gets the worm
                    26. Col. Andrew Tanner met his 80 year old feisty wife in the closet at a party
                    27. Killing Soviet troops will make Jed and Matt's mom real proud
                    28. You can't survive on olives and rice crispies
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                      stevenackerman69 — 10 years ago(November 23, 2015 03:38 PM)

                      1. Dallas is not the capital of Texas, Houston is.
                      2. Jed never heard of the Geneva Convention.
                      3. No one but Erica goes to the Freedom Rock in the years ahead.
                      4. Jed tells you to hold your crying back in, yet he still does it himself. beep hypocrite.
                      5. Jed commits the Fallacy of the Talking Villain. He could've just shot that leader, but needed to say something, leading him to getting shot first and dying.
                      6. Don't ask Erica to wash pots and pans.
                      7. America is a whorehouse. (I'll admit that)
                      8. They Can Have My Gun when they pry it from my cold dead hands.
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                        eddieinportland — 10 years ago(February 03, 2016 07:50 PM)

                        1. When a bunch of kids drive into my store on the side of the highway telling me the town is under attack. I'm just going to let them in the store and give them all the weapons in the store.
                        2. During the start of the invasion. There's only one Huey gunship flying around attacking the enemy.
                        3. There's only going to be one group of people in the mountains fighting guerrilla warfare against the enemy. There's going to be no other resistance in those mountains fighting the enemy. Only the Wolverines are fighting.
                        4. Robert should have aimed and fired his RPG at the tail of the Hind helicopter and not at the open window. It would have brought the Hind down.
                        5. If you need to shoot and kill a traitor. Robert is your man.
                        6. This movie is a conservative Republican's wet dream.
                        7. When a big bad ass Russian just shot your brother and now he's hunting you. You sneak up behind him and you get the drop on him. All you have to do is shoot him. But Jed will tell that Russian "You lose." Giving that Russian time to turn around. So he and you can have a shoot out.
                        8. If Jed uses his grandfather's revolver pistol to kill you. He really hated you and wanted you to die.
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                          MadTom — 10 years ago(February 09, 2016 01:40 AM)

                          1. When a bunch of kids drive into my store on the side of the highway telling me the town is under attack. I'm just going to let them in the store and give them all the weapons in the store.
                            I would if one of the kids was my own son, which Robert was to the store owner.
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                            stevenackerman69 — 9 years ago(January 14, 2017 10:36 PM)

                            Yes, one of the kids is yelling "Dad!" to the store owner. Of course, he was going to let them take the stuff. I had no problem with that. And if I had been with them, I would've made sure to get toilet paper too because I wasn't going to use leaves either.

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                              stevenackerman69 — 9 years ago(January 16, 2017 03:53 AM)

                              1. You don't kill your pig because he saw the fox entering your barnyard stealing your chickens.
                              2. Europe decides to sit this one out because twice in once century was enough. Uncle beep
                              3. When you are about to die by firing squad, start singing America the Beautiful, like it is going to help your ass.
                              4. All wars end.
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                                Woodyanders — 4 years ago(August 09, 2021 07:22 PM)

                                1. Practically every last character guy who was alive and working in Hollywood have small parts in this film including Harry Dean Stanton, Big Bill Smith (speaking in fluent subtitled Russian, no less!), Lane Smith (no relation to Big Bill), Ben Johnson, Pepe Serna, and Roy Jenson.
                                  You've seen Guy Standeven in something because the man was in everything.
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                                  SealedCargo — 2 years ago(August 13, 2023 12:44 AM)

                                  those actors you're talking about were Milius regulars
                                  what's shocking is more weren't in it
                                  The Fearmakers Blog
                                  https://thefearmakers.blogspot.com/

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                                    Woodyanders — 2 years ago(August 13, 2023 01:14 PM)

                                    Also Frank McRae as the history teacher who has the distinction of being the first person killed in this film. He's in a few other movies for John Milius.
                                    You've seen Guy Standeven in something because the man was in everything.

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                                      Deluded Juice — 4 years ago(August 09, 2021 07:05 PM)

                                      They have spray paint.
                                      That kids who never had any previous combat training and zero experience with weapons only armed forces get to use all of a sudden know how to fight and kill using those weapons taking down an armed forces with better equipped and trained troops with more fire power and bigger and better weapons.
                                      Only in the movies.

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                                        wargames83 — 2 years ago(January 21, 2024 06:49 AM)

                                        If you think the capital of Texas is Houston, it means you have seen too many movies.

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