Do you blame him
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iamtheman0928 — 18 years ago(August 08, 2007 06:43 AM)
I guess I don't understand how a man like him ended up marrying a woman like Ruth to begin with.
He's definitely a playboy type, and how he got stuck into marrying her is anyone's guess (I haven't read the book, maybe it explains it there).
As for cheating, I think that's despicable, he should have left her a long time ago if those were his feelings towards her.
On the flip side, she really didn't take good care of herself and for couples to stay compatible they have to be fairly close on the "1 to 10" scale, and in terms of appearances, there's at least a 5-6 point difference so its no wonder he had wondering eyes. But that still gives him no right to cheat.
I'm a happily married man and I would never consider cheating on my wife so I don't get why guys forgo their responsibility but it is a movie.
The biggest problem I saw was the realism when watching this movie. I couldn't fathom them being married from the beginning. Its obvious he's white collar and she's blue collar and usually one assimilates to the other but it didn't appear that way. Still I couldn't see Mary putting up with his kids and dog, etc..
Rosanne just isn't a very good actress either. -
Sugarminx — 11 years ago(July 27, 2014 05:54 PM)
how he got stuck into marrying her is anyone's guess
He got 'stuck into marrying her' because he got her pregnant and his parents forced him into it.
The bigger question is how did he manage to get her pregnant in the first place? Not the mechanics of it, I know how that worksif memory serves but why would he be intimate with someone he didn't find attractive? Unless of course, she was cute when she was younger, but somehow I'm not seeing it.
Fact is, he didn't find her attractive in body or personality. Like the coward he was, he hung around long enough to find another woman and
then
dumped his loyal (if somewhat hopeless) wife. If he'd had an ounce of integrity he would have left the marriage ages ago, when he first knew he wanted out, BEFORE he found someone else to snuggle up to. Typical swine.
Frankly, I don't know what Mary saw in him - he had a nice physique but his head left a lot to be desired
Everything I've ever told you has been a lie. Including that - George Spiggott -
perorewen — 17 years ago(July 09, 2008 07:38 AM)
Well it's actually well explained in the book.
She worked as a maid for Bobs parents when she was young, and while Bob was away at college. She got to have Bobs room as it was avaliable at the time. When Bob was home on vacations, he was originally supposed to sleep at the coach, but he wanted his bed back, so he they ended up sharing bed. Not that he loved her, but at least he got to sleep in his bed. And of course she ended up pregnant. And Bobs parents were very favorable of marriage.
They blew up Congress!!! HAHAHA!
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inan1210 — 15 years ago(May 07, 2010 08:27 AM)
The original post is lame as hell. Bob was obviously not a poor wronged husband, he was a dog in heat who went through women like Kleenex. He cheated on Ruth and then he went on to cheat on his comparably 'gorgeous' mistress, and used and threw away Olivia as well. Obviously, the problem lies with HIM. Like his own father (who also seemed like a jerkwad) said, if he didn't love her, he shouldn't have married her. But oh no, he MADE him! Probably at gunpoint, right? Poor Bob the victim! Let's all play him a sad tune on the world's tiniest violin!! Wussy men like that make me cringe.
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Danomera — 15 years ago(February 16, 2011 05:59 AM)
It wasn't that he left. It was how he did it. He wasn't just happy to leave, he had to beat her down verbally. There was no reason to treat her how he did, it just showed what a slime he was, which became even more apparent as the movie went on.
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cruzlexie — 14 years ago(June 27, 2011 01:54 PM)
Exactly. I'll admit that Ruth wasn't that good looking when she was married to Bob but I think that he would beat down her confidence and self-esteem, treating her like a servant, so she wouldn't take pride in her appearance and as a wife and mom. Yet when she dropped the kids off with Bob, took control of not only her job but helped others liked her, she changed a lot! Ruth in the end was actually really pretty.
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Belletrist0 — 14 years ago(January 23, 2012 11:21 PM)
Actually, yes, I do blame him. If Bob no longer could stand the sight of Ruth, the honourable thing to do would be to divorce her and then go off with Mary Fisher, Olivia, or another flavour-of-the-month crumpet. There is no need to be a coward and sneak around while still married. It sets a terrible example for the children, too, who definitely knew what was going on.
Ruth may have been "undesirable" (to put it nicely), but she still deserved to be treated like a human. Also, we must give credit where it is due: Ruth
did
attempt to be attractive. She did her hair, nails, make-up, shaved her legs (and moustache!), and tried to dress sexy. She experimented with cooking new dishes for Bob, and kept the house running.
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marcos_ho — 14 years ago(January 24, 2012 12:48 PM)
Your post was bound to get contradicted. The film is made for good-for-nothing housewives who still think feminism is in. Women who think the only obligation they have as:
- mothers is buy clothes for their kids;
- wives to open their legs.
Ruth was a bad mother. She couldn't cook and she was trailer trash. That's not a good example for any kid. Her son puts a ton of sugar in his cereal. She doesn't know how to cook, how is she supposed to raise kids? As far as her success as a wife, she did not have ANY respect for her husband. She was fat, ugly and very possibly lousy in bed. If she loved her husband, she would take care of herself. It is very disappointing to wake up next to a woman like that. But noooo, as soon as the man cheats, it's his fault.
I can't stand pseudo-feminists who think cheating is the real problem in a marriage/relationship.
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VictimOfChanges1983 — 14 years ago(March 29, 2012 02:15 PM)
There is no way you can excuse cheating (= deceiving and lying to your 'loved one') Split up and than move on to another woman/man if you don't desire your own partner anymore. This is the only fair option to both parties.
Cheaters are egotistical people, only thinking of their own situation and what works best for them. That's why cheaters stay in a relationship..because that situation works out best for them. They always want to have something to fall back on, just in case their affair doesn't work out. It's all about me me me when it comes to cheaters.
If you as a man or a woman are not happy in your relationship than you should talk about it. If you can't work things out than both of you should go your own way.