This movie is freaking hilarious
-
Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest
Metacontinuum — 13 years ago(September 16, 2012 04:44 AM)
Good heavens it goes without saying that Children of the Corn sequels aren't exactly going to be masterpieces, but this movie is totally hilarious. I'm not sure how much was intentional, but the laughs keep coming.
**** SOME SPOILERS BUT I QUESTION IF YOU CAN SPOIL THIS MOVIE *****- Urban Harvest. Evil corn in the city. You know going in that it'll be a treat.
- Comically bad evil Eli kid never fails to disappoint in this movie.
- Rich couple adopts teenager and creepy pre-teen with apparently no background research, tries to deal with their quirky corn-demon-raised ways.
- Really rich couples in fancy houses live next to walled off empty lots, send their kids to a Catholic school that has super-stereotyped butterfly knife-wielding gangbangers.
- It really takes very little space to raise your own evil urban cornfield! That stuff grows anywhere! Just be glad He Who Walks Behind The Rows didn't discover kudzu.
- Corn cult in the city! City kids in overalls and burlap sacks with sickles and torches!
- Watch teenage farm boy instantly bust out his mad skillz on b-ball court and be rewarded by being taught the cool handshake right away.
- Always check your soup for fake plastic cockroaches you may not notice them until they are in your mouth! Don't spit them out on your Bible, because they dissolves into evil goo which apparently corrupts the Bible, causing priests to have funky nightmares and gradually go nuts.
- Before there was Rorschach , there was Eli! "I'm not in here with you you're in here with ME!" (Corn head attacks).
- CORN CAM! With evil whippy roots!
- Evil corn fills you with cockroaches and crickets.
BUT ON A SERIOUS NOTE there are some important real life lessons about why you should fear corn.
FACT: Cornfields are evil, as I've known ever since a summer job corn de-tasseling. You think they're embellishing with the attack corn, but walking through enough corn leaves without protection will at least leave you with dozens of nasty paper-cut like corn slashes.
FACT: "He Who Walks Behind The Rows" went to work for the corn syrup lobby after several unsuccessful attempts to take over the world with evil, stabby kids.
-
thedeadlyspawn79 — 13 years ago(March 23, 2013 09:53 AM)
How about that monster clutching a barbie doll at the end? This movie (and part two) left me with a big smile on my face. Some utterly brilliant practical effects in there as well.
I was unsure how to rate this one. As far as filmmaking goes, it's probably a three out of ten. Entertainment wise, it rates a seven. I went with a five, but I think it might deserve a little more. -
Rattrap007 — 11 years ago(August 30, 2014 01:53 AM)
Dear god yes on the doll bit. I just watched for the first time and when I saw that I just about died. Rewound it and watched it again. Was laughing for a solid minute or two. I had to pause it on the shot and just keep laughing.
Also love the over acting on the priest too. The awkward bit where he loses it and throws the bible at Eli in a hissy fit made me chuckle. -
ElectricWarlock — 12 years ago(February 02, 2014 09:32 AM)
Well, I think it's a genuinely good film (not so bad it's good, an actual legitimate good horror film), but I do agree that Daniel Cerny was great in the role of Eli and was perfectly cast. He is also great in Demonic Toys.
Death lives in the Vault of Horror! -
Simian_Jack — 11 years ago(October 16, 2014 05:52 PM)
Did you know that your spine is extendable like a telescope?
Try this at home, kids: extend your arm fully from your side, holding it straight, until it's fully horizontal. Now touch your wrist with both feet at once. (Best visual on the movie, straight out of a Zuckers Bros. parody.)