Best one-liners (okay to put lead in line)

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Archived from the IMDb Discussion Forums — The Long Kiss Goodnight

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Ge-off07 — 12 years ago(August 20, 2013 12:44 PM)

Saw Craig Bierko(Timothy) at my work the other day and thought of this badass film. I have two lines that are my fav's but this movie is full of them so have at it!

1. Charlie: What are you, a Mormon?
   Mitch: Yes, I'm a Mormon, that's why I just drank three vodka tonics and smoked a pack of Newports.
2. Charlie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
   Mitch: I hope not, because I'm thinking about how much my balls hurt!
   Dear lord, this is one of the most criminally underrated movies ever! I seriously can't think of another movie most people have never heard of that I love more than this one. Maybe "The Ten".

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Jonb442 — 12 years ago(September 08, 2013 04:14 PM)

Now you're a sharpshooter?

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jellyree — 12 years ago(December 01, 2013 02:15 PM)

"Chefs do that!"

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coutterhill — 12 years ago(February 09, 2014 06:43 PM)

I would have been here earlier but I was thinking of that ham and rye line.

You know maybe if you eat more comfort food you wouldn't have to go around shooting people.

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mattdsgirl — 12 years ago(February 11, 2014 06:50 PM)

Henchman to Timothy: "I'm hurt real bad, I think I'm dying"
Timothy: "Continue dying"

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BurningUp — 12 years ago(February 21, 2014 10:06 PM)

Charlie to Raymond: "If you tell anyone you saw me, I'll blow your fu!#$@g head off."
Mitch to Charlie: "So kill 'em for me b!tch! What are you good for?"
"Everyone's entitled to one good scare."

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donpadilla — 11 years ago(April 14, 2014 10:01 PM)

"That's a duck not a d$ck"

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spookyrat1 — 11 years ago(June 28, 2014 07:59 AM)

Charlie: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Mitch: Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.

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down_under_birdy — 11 years ago(June 30, 2014 12:31 AM)

Oh, this is so exciting! I mean, you just saw her tits, what did that feel like?!

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iroquois_pliskin00 — 11 years ago(August 15, 2014 09:28 AM)

Dun Dun Dun Duh Duh! Gonna go shake hands with the man.

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Gunslinger1919 — 11 years ago(October 24, 2014 07:24 PM)

I just sock her in the jaw and yell, "Pop goes the weasel!"
Before you jump on me, know this: I rarely think things through before posting.

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smartbomb — 11 years ago(November 30, 2014 07:15 PM)

Alice: Well what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: It's simple. He's been licking his a**hole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention and I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge is either gone for good or there to stay.

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mail-2217 — 11 years ago(March 14, 2015 01:43 AM)

Yeah, in a movie that is overflowing with great 80's/90's era one-liners this is the top of the nipple. And the old lady just sells it.

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chrisjohnson-89173 — 10 years ago(October 30, 2015 07:19 AM)

Charlie:
"are you this stupid or did you take lessons?"
Mitch:
"I took lessons!"
Charlie:
He cuts his own hair, he sits down when he pees
Mitch:
Ok Ok, I'm gettin a boner here"
Ah, devil ether. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel.

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Woodyanders — 7 years ago(November 18, 2018 02:00 PM)

Die screaming motherfucker!
You've seen Guy Standeven in something because the man was in everything.

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Filmbuff29 — 3 years ago(March 17, 2023 04:40 PM)

Die screaming motherfucker.